weekend recap

Whew.

It was a very eventful weekend. Not only was it PRIDE weekend it was also The Porchfest in Oakhurst on Saturday.

Ralph and Bernice came in on Friday and it was a party from there. Charlie and I had gone out to a local brewery with the guys Derrick and Andrew as both their wives were out of town for a mutual friend’s bday and they met us down there when they rolled into town. Everything from there is pretty much a blur.

Saturday, Charlie and I rode our motorcycles over to the Porchfest to listen to Emil play with a band and then Rooster and Shutters band. We saw LB, Benjii and of course, Emil, Rooster and Shutter and so other various friends. It was very fun – I wish they had more of these things because there’s never enough time to get to very many bands in the neighborhood because it’s SO big.

After that, we were supposed to go to a pride party at a friend of ours but we bailed and ended up going out for oysters and then dancing at this gay bar named Mary’s in east Atlanta. While we’ve been there previously and had a great time I never noticed the bartenders being women-hating assholes until that night. The bar is mostly men but that night were quite a few women being pride and all. I had gotten a drink previously from the bartender at the end of the bar who mixed me up this fruity concoction called a Kamikaze. When I returned to get another I just chose a spot at the bar that was available to edge in to order. I didn’t realize that I wasn’t in my previous bartenders section so when another bartender came up and asked me what he could get me I said, The bartender over there made me this fruity concoction called a Kamikaze. He then yelled at me saying, Why don’t you just go over there then? And turned away.

I was still standing there in shock – I mean, I think my mouth was hanging open. He turned back to me and took my empty cup and said, Go on now.

I was so angry with this guy but I let it go because he seemed like the type that would jump over the bar and slit my throat. I tamped down my temper and went over to my original bartender and ordered my drink after standing in yet another line. When he got me my drink I asked for the name of that other bartender and he said his name was Eric (which, I don’t believe). I told him what happened and said that was highly inappropriate and uncalled for and then asked him his name and he said Jason.

I got back to Charlie and she said, What’s wrong? And I told her. She left and went right up to Jason and gave him and earful of that not being appropriate and asked for the name of the manager who he said was Matt (not sure I believe that, either). After that, I didn’t want that asshole to ruin our evening and we just partied on but I noticed he was yelling at other customers as well and thought how ridiculous that was.

I later read several reviews from other women that have been harassed by that same bartender (who was called “Marky”) and obviously they aren’t doing a thing about it. I messaged the bar via Facebook and Twitter and their personal website page but I haven’t heard anything back. Obviously, harassment towards women and customer service are something they are ignoring. I will never be back there.

All in all it was a good weekend and I won’t let that bad experience ruin it BUT, if I don’t hear back from that bar I’m taking it all to social media and letting the world know that women aren’t safe at that bar.

This week we’re getting ready for vacation so I’m hoping for low-key until we leave. I can’t wait to get out of here for a while and breathe some different air.

 

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ghosting the past

I know I have been writing a lot about pod casts lately but some of the topics make me really think about things I want to write about. Usually, I listen to these when I’m going for a walk. In fact, they kind of spur me to walk more because I look forward to listening to them. I cannot seem to listen to them while I’m at work because I can’t concentrate on my work and listen to what they are saying – sometimes even when I’m walking when I’m listening to something that makes me think I take off with my own thoughts and have to rewind the podcast to hear what they said because I drift off.

One of the topics that has stuck with me is ghosting. We all have been ghosted at one time or another and probably have ghosted someone else. I know I have probably written about this previously but I was ghosted by two of my good friends who I share a tattoo with and the other two friends with the tattoo I have ghosted (there are five of us altogether who share this tattoo). Sometimes I wonder if this tattoo was a curse to us. Maybe we shouldn’t have gone all-in to be marked for life with the same tattoo.  Other times I think that it’s just a way of life -having friendships come and go like the ebb and flow of the ocean. I’ve come to grips with it and am completely ok with it.

I believe that friendships fit into three categories.

  1. The besties you see or speak to every week or sometimes even more than once a week: These are a rarity for Charlie and I. We only have a few who we see every week and it’s kind of works out the way it does because if we had more then we wouldn’t have any time to ourselves.
  2. The once a month kind of friendships – the ones you may say, Hey haven’t seen you in a week, month, a few months since that ho left you – you meet for a drink or dinner.
  3. The ones you maintain a distance relationship with who you only really converse with on social media. Maybe you’ll travel every once in a blue moon to see but you remain distant friends.

And, everyone outside of that is really not a friend. They’re just someone you run in to at a bar or concert or restaurant and you exchange pleasantries of “We really do need to get together soon.” When both parties are thinking, Yeah no.

I believe someone can only have so many close friends in this life or else it gets crowded. I also believe people outgrow friendships, they move on or the time to spend with them takes a lower priority than the ones who currently are your besties or they piss you off.

I’ve lived on the same street since ’97 and have been friends with another lesbian couple three houses down. They have only been here a year longer than myself. They have both been through some health problems over the years but they are both doing well now. I used to take them lasagna’s when one of them was ill and there were times I got the mail for them. Charlie and I were always asking them down for a beer, over to dinner and even to the parties we’ve thrown – to no avail. They never hardly ever took us up on it – to a point where I was starting to think that there was something they didn’t like about us or our house or something. They always said no. It was a while back that I needed a ride to the train station – which, is less than 3 miles from both of our houses. I asked one of them if they could give me a ride to the station – this was the one who has her own business and is not tied to an 8-5 schedule. Before I could even tell her what time  or day I needed to go she said, Oh I don’t think so. I know I’ll be busy.

I was hurt by that and thought after all the lasagnas I’ve made for them when they weren’t feeling well and taking them all my Good Housekeeping magazines she won’t even give me a ride to the train? I mean, I think I almost cried.

Flash forward, they are one of our landscape clients and Charlie always gets roped into doing extra things for them like getting their mail when they go out of town and making sure if any packages that are left she gets them so no one will steal them. I told her that she shouldn’t do anything extra for them that I was done after that train station incident. She said that she was going to test them and ask if they could get our mail while we’re out of town next week just to see what she says since just recently she not only hauled their mail down to our house but also all their Amazon boxes as well. (Strangely, when Charlie said it would be easier if she had a key to their house and leave all that stuff there the woman acted all weird about it and changed the subject)

Don’t count on her saying yes, I said.

I just want to see what she says.

I guess the moral to this story is to just do stuff for people and not expect anything in return. Maybe I just need to get my head in that space and not expect anything of people. Even so – she’s pretty much off my #2 list.

Then, there’s the ones who are taking a different path – away from the friendship. Whether it’s a life changing thing, a new relationship, or a lifestyle change the ghosting may be mutual. Sometimes we’re just all in different places. I had heard that one of the “Toads” I share a tattoo with had hers removed. I find this ironic because she was one of the ones who always tried to get us all back together. I look down at mine in the traditional Chinese style on my ankle and think, this was just a phase of my life. Part of my past. I will not erase it. You can’t change history but only the future. 

trying to stay positive

It’s really hard to write about positive stuff when everything that is happening in the world right now is so devastating. That’s a big reason why I haven’t written lately because I don’t have a lot of positive to say. It’s an effort, believe me. But, as I look around I realize how lucky I am that none of this devastation has affected me or my immediate family so that’s a positive note and my heart hurts for those who haven’t been so lucky. So, I will post just random positive stuff for now.

As you know from former posts that I’ve gotten into listening to pod casts lately. My sister showed me a couple that she listens to and The Moth is one of them. The last time I was home she looked them up online to show me and said that they have live shows that you can tell your stories. Well, last night that’s where I was – at Dad’s Garage telling a story based on something creepy and scary. I had Charlie, Link and Stiletto there to cheer me on. I wasn’t as nervous as I thought I would be standing up in front of a large audience – I’ve done this previously but it’s been awhile. But, my scores at the end weren’t what I’d hoped for. See, they choose 4 person teams from the audience to act as a judging panel and they judge your story based on a few guidelines they are given. Plus, your story can only be 5 minutes in length. They will ding a triangle when it’s time for you to wrap it up and from there you only have 1 minute to seriously wrap it up or else you get the harmonica. I made a mental note that if I was chosen to give my story that I would not get the harmonica.

So, my story was about a time I was arrested along with several of my friends on a dilapidated train trestle over the Wabash River. This particular trestle was haunted and named “Purple Head”. Folklore was that a man tried to hang himself from the trestle and was decapitated and if you went out there on a full moon you could see a purple head rising out of the water. Well my story was when I thought I saw the head it was only a police spotlight telling me to get off the bridge and that we were under arrest. Long story made very short I put in a few humorous notes before immediately wrapping it up once I heard the DING.

So, I was a bit disappointed of my scores – I thought I did well compared to the guy who told about his brother sexting chickens and ran so long he got the harmonica and the woman who told some very uncomfortable story about her brothers friend molesting her – harmonica again. AND, the woman who told a quick 2 minute story of some man whistling in her yard when he turned out to be this man who lived in her town who had Alzheimer’s (I mean, why did she not know this if she’s lived in this small town her whole life??) Regardless, the points are moot, I guess, although the next time I will hone my story and polish it before stepping up on stage for another story slam. It was a good opportunity and I’m glad I did it. I still can’t watch the video that Charlie covertly took of me on stage yet. I’d be like, I sound so dumb. God, this is terrible – no wonder I only got a 7.6 from that one group.

We are our own worst critic, aren’t we?

In two weeks we leave for vacation in Colorado. Other than our flight arrangements we really don’t have an agenda that we are sticking to. We hope to meet up with a fav blogger and a college buddy of mine. Other than that it will be some brewery tours, sightseeing and hopefully maybe even some live music although, I’m not so sure of Red Rocks after reading this post.

This year is flying by and before we know it – 2018. In the New Year I am starting back to college and hopefully a new role. More about that later.

Take care and stay loose, as an old graphic designer prof of mine used to say.

hurricane central

I hope everyone had a hurricane-free weekend. I know there are a lot of us in Texas, the Gulf, Florida, coastal and island areas who are over the hurricane season already.

We have friends in Florida who are still without power from Irma. Everyone that we knew made it through the storm physically ok but had a lot of their property damaged. Charlie’s folks, kids and bro fared ok – they were all very lucky. In Georgia we got a scary storm both Monday and Tuesday of last week. Wind blew several large oaks down in our part of town. There were stop lights out for several days and trees down blocking intersections and cutting out power. Our neighbor across the street had a tree in his neighbor’s yard split and land straight across his driveway cutting out his power and cable. The tree laid there for a week before he was able to get out there to saw it up. Charlie felt sorry for him and grabbed her saw and went over to help. A huge branch broke off our neighbor’s tree behind us and landed in the back – narrowly missing our beloved bar shed. We have friends north of here in Gainesville, GA that had a tree fall across their entire house making it unlivable. Unfortunately, their landlord is a huge dick and won’t return their calls, wants to keep their rent they just paid for the month and their deposit. On top of all that they were staying at a friend’s house and their dog got away and they’ve been looking for her for two days now.

All this storm stuff and another one is on the way. I only hope it misses everyone so people who suffered the last one can take a breath. Charlie’s folks are supposed to come up for the week and called yesterday to say they may not be up because of the next storm. I was like, Wait a minute – it doesn’t work like that – it’s even more of a reason to get up here as soon as possible. Family can be so unreasonable at times. I fully believe the children become the adults and the parents regress back to 9 year olds. I feel like the next phone conversation is going to be me saying, Don’t make me come down there. We shall see where the week takes us.

Last week after the storm we were pretty busy. Charlie had a ton of cleanup work for the landscaping company and we went to our first Taiko club practice. The group was getting ready for a performance at the Japan festival this past weekend so it was their last rehearsal before then. We only got to play the numbers we knew with them and just hung out afterwards. They have another performance this coming weekend as I said in the previous post that we’re planning on going to. After that it is my hope that the rehearsals try to get us up to speed on the songs that we don’t know.

Friday we went to another backyard concert at our friends house (the ones we got the idea of our backyard music thing from). Kate Coleman opened for Granville Automatic. They were fantastic and we really enjoyed them. Below is a few videos of them:

Saturday, Charlie and I just took it easy. Mostly I worked on installing these security camera’s that our friends down the street gave us. This past week Charlie and I had our cars rifled through because stupid us left our doors unlocked. So, no more of that. I installed two of the cameras in the car port, one at the front door and the other in the living room. It works pretty well when we’re not at home. It alerts me when Sadie is barking out the window – probably because the mail person is driving by.

Sunday, we had our friends from down the street and B. Ferris over for a post hurricane party. They are two couples Holly & Darren and Andy & Rosie who live next to each other who we befriended when one couple became clients of ours. They are a total blast and it seems like a week doesn’t go by without meeting at one of their houses or ours for a beer or something to eat. The four of them showed up in Darren’s golf cart with food and hurricane drink concoctions. We sat outside and ate & drank, watched football, the guys played darts and watched the game at the shed and later Charlie had a fire. It was a nice end to the weekend and I certainly didn’t want to get up and go to work this morning.

I’m surely ready for a vacation – Colorado where there are no hurricanes.

 

 

3 Taiko songs and a funeral

Last week I went to Indy for my step mother’s funeral. Fortunately, I had an opportunity to go up there the end of July to spend some time with her and process it. I will probably save another post about that for later but –  I was ready to get back to Atlanta the following Saturday. I did want to get back because we had our drum recital on Sunday. After taking Taiko lessons for almost 3 months I didn’t want to miss the finale.

Once we were there we ran through our (3) songs and then the regular group came in to play. We’d only heard them play this one song so when they started to play all these other songs we hadn’t heard we were blown away. I was kinda like, Yeah we suck. But later the group assured us that they have been playing together for over 2 years (which, by Japanese standards is an infantile amount of time to hone the craft of Taiko drumming).

This is a video I took of them:

I really didn’t think anyone would show up for our recital but then Emil, LB and Benji’s new gf from out of town showed up. Charlie was really nervous but I wasn’t that bad. Afterwards, we went next door for post recital libations.

Tonight, we’re going to our first real rehearsal since the recital. We were asked to join the group afterwards by Peter our instructor. Apparently, according to Ginny in the group not everyone who takes the class is asked the join. By no means do I think we were asked the join because of our Taiko prowess but for the fact that we’re fun and we get along with the group – which, is primarily all women except for two men. I had already decided if this one meth head guy that was in our class joined that I wasn’t going to join because every time he was in class I wanted to throw my stick at him. He was the most annoying guy EVER. Frequently, in our sessions he would be back there dicking around playing his drum when Peter was trying to talk to us about something. This guy toted that he was a “drummer” and knew how to drum already. (So was I but I wasn’t saying anything). Constantly he was asking about the music and how to play a certain part we were working on. There were only a few of us – myself included – who could read music but Peter would put words above the notes to read so it would be a natural beat. Charlie caught on quite well and so did the rest of us except this guy who SAID he was a “drummer”. (And, most musicians I know who play drums call themselves percussionists not drummers) Fortunately, our last class Peter announced that “Kip-dip”was no longer going to join us because he was pursuing an opportunity and had to go out of town. Great – go cook your meth in Telluride, mf-er, I thought.

I think Peter was a little sad to lose another guy but I really don’t think he would have been asked to join as we later learned most of the other’s in our class didn’t like this guy either. Peter wants more men in the group but he says a lot of men who take the class want to be able to perfect it in just a few sessions and frequently get frustrated and quit. I just remember being in band and practicing the same numbers over and over again for shows. We practiced those songs daily, sometimes on the weekends -or- at band camp. We memorized everything, too. So, from only practicing once a week I would think there will need to be a lot of at home practice to get up to speed to perform shows –which is what we’ll eventually do. Right now we’re so green that we’ll need to practice with the group for a while before we do a show with them. Charlie and I scored some Congo drums from her son and we’re going to start practicing on those. I need to get us some felt tipped mallets so we won’t ruin the heads. Taiko drums are INSANELY expensive or else we would have a couple already to practice on. Peter has a whole video on youtube on how to make a drum out of an old tire (I’m actually surprised that Charlie hasn’t started this project yet) we have a lot going on right now – we may have her youngest and his gf up this weekend from Florida. They have been without power all week and are over it but gasoline shortage is still a problem down there. Benji’s gf that came up to get away from the storm said it took her 12 hours to get back to Jacksonville yesterday. Charlie’s parents are coming up next week to visit and fortunately the Taiko group is performing on The Beltline so we’re going to take them to that and support our new group.

Friday we have our friends doing a backyard concert again – the first of this year. Saturday we have the neighbors coming up to make post-hurricane drinks and I’m sure we’ll have a bunch of food. If I don’t talk to y’all have a great weekend! Cheers!

 

 

 

 

Friday chex mix – the power of No, NFL & Senate Bill 85

So, as you know I’ve been listening to a lot of podcasts lately. The one that’s been a favorite as of late is Dear Sugars.

Some of the topics they have covered really resonate with me. Like, The Power of No. Even Oprah Winfrey came on and threw her 2cents in about it. (I’m not a huge Oprah fan but I appreciated what she had to say on the topic).

I thought about instances in my life I coulda-shoulda said No. Like all those times I let my sister bully me into going home to Indiana only to run around and do whatever it was she wanted to do or help her do stuff around her house. Even the time it was supposed to be my birthday party and I was the one helping with the food and getting everyone’s drinks. This last time I went home I skipped even telling her I was going because I wanted to be on my own.

The next party invite I’m saying No to some. I will not be bullied or talked in to inviting people that I don’t enjoy. (I think you know who I’m talking about).  And, tonight – we were supposed to go down to Joe’s for Trivia and a. we really don’t have the $$ to spend on drinks and food right now and b. it’s raining outside and it won’t be any fun not being able to sit on the patio and c. I have a really intense interview the next morning – while I’ve prepared as much for it as I can I really need to get some good sleep and not be hung over in the a.m.

So, it’s decided – NO. Ah, the power of No. If only I could have been doing this sooner.

Next day…..

The interview went as well as a behavioral one can go. I felt as prepared as I could possibly be and the hour went fast. Now I wait to see if I will get a call from the company recruiter for a meet and greet. If I get no call that means I didn’t score the way they wanted their next candidate to score on the interview and it’s probably not meant to be anyway. But, I feel like I did well.

So, is it me or does it seem like preseason football isn’t really worth watching? The teams you expect to win are 0-30 and the ones you expect to get creamed are the opposite. Let’s get on with it, shall we? I don’t plan on watching anymore football until Sept. 7th (Go KC).

Today marks the first day in Atlanta that craft breweries can sell their products – at least Nathan Deal did something I approve of -by signing Senate Bill 85 the breweries now become bars. That’s great because if I had to look at another beer yeast vat in order to sip my 2 oz beer tasting I was going to scream. If you’ve seen one beer vat you’ve seen them all. Tonight, we’re heading out to Wild Heaven Brewery which is in our part of the ‘hood. (If only we had a golf cart to ride on down there in).

Other than that we have no planz for the holiday weekend so with that I will y’all a happy one and cheers!

 

Friday chex mix – podcasts & chillin’

It’s time for another Friday chex mix edition. I regret I haven’t written a whole lot lately – sometimes, I just have all kinds of ideas just floating around in my head doing nothing.

I feel like just when I’m catching my stride with work someone comes along and just trips me up. I was speaking to a colleague the other day – this is someone I always go to for answers – one of my go-to guys. I’d always liked this guy until this past Wednesday.

I don’t know about y’all but when I go to ask something from anyone I always preface it with a good morning or a good afternoon, how are you and so forth. I like to gauge someone’s day before I ask to take anything from them – such as information, a favor, etc. If they’re having a bad day I move on and decide to ask them something at another time. That’s just me – I’m polite.

This guy wasn’t answering my ‘Good morning’ skype messages. Finally, I called him and said, ‘What’s up?’ We usually have a pretty funny back and forth dialogue so when he started in on me about my ‘stupid skype messages’ and that I should just call him and ask my f*cking questions. I was a little taken aback. I blinked back tears and wondered if it was just early menopause creeping up or if indeed he was being a real a-hole. He pretty much berated me for the design I sent him to look at, told me that I was the rookie on the team and that ‘everyone’ knows I have questions so ask my question and quit bugging him on skype. By the time we hung up I vowed I wasn’t going to ask him d*ck until hell froze over. I went for a walk and applied to three jobs after that. I’ve been trying to walk a couple of miles every day. It doesn’t take long out of my schedule and it’s completely doable. It also clears my head of all the stuff that’s running around in there. I’ve been listening to podcasts while I walk, too. This one particular podcast, Sincerely X is really good.

Our friend Benji turned us on to this one podcast Up and Vanished. It’s about a lady in Ocilla, GA who disappears. I admit I was addicted up until the 16th podcast and then I was done. I won’t give anything away and will let you decide if you happen to listen to it. So now I’ve been kind of addicted to these podcast things. (If anyone has a particular one they would like to share please put it in the comments section of this post.)

This past Tuesday Charlie and I went out to Cowtippers to support our friend who was competing in bartender wars. It was sponsored by El Jimador tequila and the drink(s) she made were dangerous. Needless to say she won the competition. She is our hands down favorite bartender in Atlanta.

Tonight, we’re just doing a little dart party at the 143 shed in back and Benji and Emil may come over. Maybe Maybe-Nicole, too. We’ll see. We don’t have a lot of plans for the weekend so we’ll just be grillin’ and chillin’.

Hope y’all have a great weekend, cheers!

concerts & kicked out

I’m so exhausted this morning. Last night we went to see Counting Crows with Matchbox 20 with Emil and Maybe-Nicole and the Thursday before that we also saw Emily Saliers play at Edie’s Attic for the late show.  We had a lot of fun and I enjoyed both shows but I’m showed out for a while.

(Charlie and Emil with photobomb lady in the background)

In between all the concerts, we went to friends down the street for dinner, saw Benji and managed to make an hour of drum practice yesterday.

So, Charlie and I made the decision to sell her Harley on cycle trader simply because we’d like to streamline our debt a little more and get out from under the payments. Once we sell hers I’m probably going to sell mine but it’s not really necessary because it’s paid for and I can always ride her on the back of mine. Charlie first posted an ad on Facebook in case any of her peeps on there were interested – plus, they could share it with friends of theirs. She no more got it posted on FB when Shutter asked why she was selling and Charlie said she just wanted to at this time that wasn’t to say that she, me, us would never ride again. Next thing you know – we get thrown out of the motorcycle group that we were in with Link, Shutter and Rooster – Rooster had created the Meetup page and kicked us off of there.

That kind of chapped my –well- chaps over that. I mean, this is not to say we’ll even get the Harley sold – and if not then we’ll keep it, ride and keep on. Whatever. I didn’t think we deserved to be kicked out of the group for that. Granted we hadn’t ridden with the group for a while but that didn’t mean we’d never ride with them again – until now. But, hey – now that I’m no longer a member of the group I will say this – I never really liked riding with the group. Don’t get me wrong – I liked everyone as people – just not riding with them in a group. Rooster always led the group and honestly would ride a little too fast for my taste up the busy 4-lane street in Atlanta (that she always insisted that we take to get out of town) when anyone could and would pull out in front of you. What happened to space cushion?? The last time we went barreling up Candler Road I spaced myself back and when one of the girls on her Harley got her hazard light stuck on for an hour and we had to pull off into a gas station we got lectured on riding faster to keep up.

I wanted to say, B*tch, I don’t keep up with anyone when I’m on this machine. I ride my own mf-ing ride. If I’m going too slow then you just go on and I’ll see you another time.  

It’s probably not helping their cause that I have 10 years of being a motorcycle instructor under my belt and this stuff is ingrained into my behavior and brain.

Also, Rooster has no GPS and relays on some paper with directions rubber-banded to her arm. After a long, hot ride to Macon for a history lesson (now those I did enjoy) and lunch on the way back I was running my GPS and it showed that unless we wanted to extend our trip another 2 hours that we should turn at this one particular intersection. Charlie and I pulled off into the gas station at the intersection and they circled around and back and asked what was up.

Gas, and we’re turning here.

This isn’t on my directions – we were going to ride closer to Athens and then turn back. By then, the paper with the directions had blown by us and had been lost on the road and I didn’t have a whole lot of confidence she really knew where the F we were going. But, I knew because I had GPS.

That’s fine but we’re going this way. Enjoy getting lost the rest of the ride.

And, we left. Which, brings me to the question as to why, if you’re leading a group of riders don’t you get some sort of GPS device on your bike so there won’t be any confusion? Or ask someone like myself to lead.

But, no that would be too hard and too advanced.

Maybe it is a good thing we got kicked out of the group. Charlie and I were going on our own rides anyway. It’s just easier to get an early start and go and get back so the day isn’t all taken up. That group would plan a trip to Birmingham and wait until 10:00 to leave and get back at 9:00 and we’d say, No thanks.

I mean, I don’t know if I’ll keep riding. Maybe I will, maybe I won’t but I don’t like other people making that decision for me. I mean, I’ve gone to a couple of Meetups for this screen writing group – I don’t go all the time because it always meets way up in Dunwoody during rush hour and it’s kind of hellish to get there. Even so I haven’t been kicked out of the group. I just find the whole thing to be mystifying.

Has anything like this ever happened to you? Have you ever been kicked out of a group? Became a lesbian and kicked out of the Junior League?

 

 

Censorship, naval gazers and blogging

Years ago when I first started blogging I kept it completely anonymous. None of my friends who lived in town knew about the blog. All of the other people who knew about the blog were other bloggers that I hadn’t met in person at the time. Eventually, some of us did meet but none of them blog anymore.Those were the good ol’ days of blogging. People looked at you in wonder and said, You blog?? Wow…..that’s soooooooo………creative and fun!

Unlike nowadays people look at you like you have a horn coming out of your forehead and say flatly, Oh, so you have a blog.  Said like they’re going to fall over any minute from sheer boredom. Then they say, You’d better not write about me, or that one time, or THEM.

And, hence, censorship.

I want to reply something to the extent of You really think I lay awake at night thinking up a post to write about you or your situation?

The problem is they would actually believe it – that’s a naval gazer for you. They think all you want to write about is them. Sometimes I think they think the reason you started the blog was so you could write about them. I can hear it now:

Me and my girlfriend broke up and now Lanie has started this blog to write about me and my life- f*ck my life!

And, in answer to that – Yes, yes that’s exactly WHY I started a blog is to write about YOU and your life. AND next I’m starting a book about your life so sit down so I can interview you starting from the time you were born. I’m going to write about EVERYTHING.

So, there you have it – it’s all out on the table.(Maybe I should have censored this?)

Then, we have those who have asked me a gazillion times what my blog address is. I’m like, Bitch, I’ve told you 3 times. If they have to ask me that many times for the address then they really aren’t going to actually go there they’re just asking to listen to the sound of their own voice.

Then, other replies to finding out I have a blog are, Oh, maybe I should write a blog.

Yes, maybe you should and name it simply your own name. Or better yet, Navel Gazer – from the beginning. And, whatever you write about I don’t care. If I don’t like what I’m reading I just click on Amazon dot com and order myself a Kindle book and call it a day. I don’t lose sleep over it nor wonder what’s going to be written about me next.

And, I certainly don’t think, Every 30 minutes someone starts a WordPress blog to write about me, Lanie Belluz, OMG! F*ck my life!

Incentive

Sometimes you just have to take incentive into your own hands. This is so true with my current job. My sometimes office mate often tells me that I have it made. I probably do since I don’t deal with the things he deals with every day and this is where I’ll tell you about our team and how uneven it is.

I know I have often wrote about work in the past – I’ve had some growing pains with this position and the “team” I work with including my manager. Since I’ve been running a wire center I’ve learned to go to different people for questions and help. There’s only a certain few that I do go to. I’ve been screwed over by others on our team – including our resource manager who I’ll name Fred Flintstone. The only reason he’s been called that is because he’s friends with our manager and he just gave him that title. Our manager has segregated the team into different responsibilities even though we all have the title of “Engineer”.

Some of us are actually doing the duties of an engineer – running wire centers, doing design work and overseeing construction of the jobs. Like myself. I have just come into starting to enjoy it as I’m pretty much doing my thing and people don’t get in my way.

Then, we have the wonder twins. The wonder twins are responsible for submitting all the permits for our jobs. They work side-by-side all day long in the same vicinity as our manager with their sweet smelling candles, candy dishes, refrigerator stocked with creamer, LaCroix and bottled water. Larry complains that they are so busy doing permits and that’s all they do. Meanwhile, they have soaked up all the OT for the group for the remainder of the year. Larry’s pulled so much he could probably buy a nice ski boat by now. (Personally, I think he’s banking for his divorce.)

Part of the team sits down at the southside of the city by the airport. I used to work a bit down there during the time I was going to take over this wire center from one of the chicks down there. I didn’t mind it – much. But, to put it mildly I did not fit in really well with the demographic down there.

The other whitebreads work out in the sticks towards the northeast outside the perimeter. By whitebreads I mean rednecks. This is where FF works with “the guys” and one lone woman from India who used to be my work BFF until she defected out there and now I have to watch what I say to her because I suspect she repeats all my instant messages to them.

Then, there’s the office where the twins, our manager, myself from time to time and Patricia work – on the west side of town (inside the perimeter). But, recently I have started to move over to the central office closer to my house where Donnie and Chris work – Donnie does an entirely different engineering job – he’s like a building engineer whereas the rest of us engineers deal with outside (plant) stuff. I often ask Chris questions because he also runs a wire center. Plus, it’s a lot more peaceful and close to the house. Mind you – I just took the incentive to move over here on my own. I figured everyone else works where they want to work then why shouldn’t I.

The southside team all runs wire centers as well as most of the whitebreads except for Shampa the Indian woman and Fred. Fred just approves jobs and dictates stuff even though he has the same title as I and is at my same position level. Shampa just designs certain jobs and that’s all she does. I’m waiting for them to heap some more responsibility on her and see what she does. She just sits out there in the sticks in her cocoon of the guys and does those same jobs over and over again. I was doing those jobs over and over again when I first started but then the Fred decided I needed too much help, bad mouthed me behind my back to the manager and thus, why I got a mediocre review although after that I was given a wire center to run.

Hmmm, how does that work – you’re rated as mediocre BUT we’re going to give you a wire center to run where you have to deal with construction people, play a customer facing role and do more complicated designs?

Makes sense, right? NOPE.

So, this isn’t going to happen on my next review if it’s the last thing I do. Anyway, what I’ve been describing this whole time is the structure of our “team” and illustrating that aside from running wire centers like we’re supposed to do there’s people who don’t do shEEot. Although I’m glad I’m running a wire center and sitting in the central office now – but it was all incentive that I took on my own. I totally could have used  mentoring from my manager but I’ve learned that he lacks basic social skills. I’m just amazed at some people even getting the manager position when they can’t even manage to communicate with people. Alot of the people on the team “think he’s the best manager ever” sans the twins. But, I think that’s only because they’re friends. Me, I don’t think I’ve ever had a best manager unless it was the one I had when I worked for a local government.

I decided I liked this quote and what it stands for: Incentive