payback

Lee has this friend that she met on an online dating site prior to us meeting. Lee and “Kari” also play tennis and Lee has joined her team. Lee and her had one date and decided that the chemistry wasn’t there and decided to be friends. (One of the reasons for the off chemistry was that this woman almost took out a tooth trying to kiss Lee on their first date. Lee told me it was probably one of the worst kisses she ever got in her life.) I’ve met Kari a few times and she seems pleasant enough. Kari is now seeing someone else she met online who is from Florida. She swears she’s in love with her and has been driving down to see her almost every other weekend. Lee is a bit concerned for her friend as she not only has an 8 year old child who she shares with her recent ex of 17 years but also shares a successful home renovation company with the ex as well. Who can mother, run a business and drive 8 hours to Florida every other weekend?

But, what do I care – I’m just giving you some background here for the real story.

This past weekend Kari’s girl from Florida was in town and she was having a cookout and wanted us all to come over and meet her. Kari’s friends Chris and Greg had already met her and like Lee were concerned. There was a festival that day where I ran in the race they held for it and Lee and I had lunch and walked around afterwards. Later, we found ourselves in Little Five points shopping and having beers at the Yacht Club.

“Do you want to eat?”

“No, we shouldn’t because if we do all I will want to do is stay here and not go to Kari’s. I have to stay focused.”

“Right. We need to pick up some things at the grocery to take, too.”

“Yep. Let’s go.” I said, draining my beer.

We ran our errands and headed to Kari’s fashionably late. Edith was also coming and bringing her new gf, -from a whole other country – talk about long distance. (Edith didn’t know Kari but when Lee told her that we were hanging with them that weekend because of her new girl being in town she invited them, too.)

Granted, Lee and I hadn’t dressed up for this cookout/party. I had changed into shorts and a fresh t-shirt in the car after the race and we both had hats on. We walked in and no one really greeted us. We sat the food down and one woman peeled away from her conversation with Kari’s new squeeze, “Katie” and came over and introduced herself. I looked around and saw my vet there and wondered how she fit in to this crowd of “lipstick lesbians.” I took our cooler of beer and cider out onto the back deck and introduced myself to the woman who was running the grill who then asked if I wanted to take over after shaking my hand. (Obvisously, I looked more the part for grilling than she did – probably worrying that she’d break a nail.) I ignored the question and grabbed a beer going back inside to find Lee.

Lee was talking to Kari who had finally appeared. I joined them and introductions to Katie were made. Katie barely shook our hands before turning back to the conversation she had been having with the first woman who introduced herself to us. There was also a woman there that Lee, Kari and I all had had some contact with on the online dating site. I will call this woman stuck-up bitch Shelia.  Kari had gone out with Shelia at one time and said she was the worst kisser (worse than her, I guess) and that she talked about herself all during the date. I had winked at Shelia one time and got a standard boilerplate reply back from the dating site saying this person was not interested in me and please refrain from contacting her. Lee had gotten several winks from her to which she never replied. Since she was standing right next to us, Lee  introduced herself (not even mentioning the dating site recognition) and got about the same response as we both did with Katie.

I looked around the room and absolutely no one was talking to us and everyone was engaged in their own little personal conversations.

“I feel really uncomfortable here.” [me]

“I know, me too.  Just wait until Greg and Chris get here. I want you to meet them. I think you guys will hit it off.” [Lee]

“Ok, I guess Greg and Chris and Edith and Etzy are worth it. I’m going to go get another beer.”

Thankfully, Greg and Chris showed up right after and like Lee said we did hit it off. The four of us decided to grab some food and sit out on the deck ignoring the rest of the party. Later, Edith and Etzy showed and as far as I was concerned the party began. We somehow made it back into the kitchen where the party was going the six of us talking and joking in the corner when Katie broke away from her still ongoing conversation with Natalie to make some crack about Edith’s Tennessee hat. I mean, I can understand some playful college rivalry but when you haven’t even introduced yourself to someone and make a mean spirited crack about their team then that’s just rude. I turned to back to Greg because I knew Edith could take care of herself and she did asking her what college she went to and when she got an answer she said,

“Oh, I see you’re just ripping on my team because yours s*cks.”

Edith had her and Katie knew it but, she didn’t stop there because as Lee came over to join the conversation she turned to her and said, “So, who did you come here with?” She knew who Lee came with because we met -it was just a smear on her and I. I had no idea why this Florida bitch she was out to get me and my friends but I didn’t like it. I turned to Greg and said, “What’s with her?”

“I don’t know but I don’t like it.” Greg had been friends with Kari for years and had recently stepped in it a bit with her for being concerned for her child and calling Katie a rebound.

Edith and Etzy were getting ready to leave and I asked Lee if she was ready and she said she was. I went out back to retrieve our cooler and noticed some of the beer that Katie was drinking sitting next to all the others.  I snuck two – one for each jibe she had made – into my cooler thinking “Payback’s a bi-otch.”

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