space, balance and prioritizing

I am striving for balance and space this week. Last week I was totally slammed and very tired. The week started out on a low from working the previous weekend and I never caught up on my sleep. I had something going on almost every evening and Thursday I was out especially late because of pool. I started a new season on my 8 ball team and also started playing on a 9 ball team. I had reservations about the 9 ball to be honest. My captain texted me on Thursday and asked me if I was up for it.

I texted back “Are you captain of it?”

“Yes.”

“Ok, I’ll do it.”

It turns out that most of my 8 ball team is on the 9 ball team, too. After grabbing a quick cat nap I went off to pool which turned out to be quite hectic. I no more walked in and ordered a beer when –

“Lanie, you need to warm up on this table with Chris.”

So, I warmed up with Chris on the 8 ball table. After some time a woman – and, I say this loosely because she honestly didn’t look old enough to be in the pool hall – came up to me and said, “Mel says you need to go over and practice 9 ball with Jim.”

“Who’s Jim?”

“He’s my Mom’s boyfriend.”

“Who’s your Mom?”

“Debra who plays on your team.”

“Holy cow! You’re Debra’s daughter?” Debra didn’t look old enough to have a daughter that age.

Smiling she said “Yes.”

I went over and practiced with Jim and got about half way through before the girl appeared again and said, “Mel says you’re up on table 34.” Meaning it was time to play for real. So, I ran over to the 8 ball table, met the woman who would beat me after three very close games.

Afterwards one of my teammates was up on the 9 ball side to play. Like me, she had never played on the 9 ball league and was hesitant. Heck, we never even hung out over on the 9 ball side let alone play. I went over with her for moral support. She ended up losing by only a few points. Unlike 8 ball, 9 ball goes by points and whoever can score 31 points first wins the match. I was up next and ended up winning. I found 9 ball to go a lot faster than 8 ball. However, unlike 8 ball where I would block pockets with my balls (defense) and set up for later shots, in 9 ball those shots wouldn’t be there by the time you got up to shoot again. There was no saving shots for the future – every shot you had to make. I walked out at 12:30 a.m. and was glad I grabbed that cat nap before going out that night.

Lee wasn’t happy that I called and woke her up but I suspected she went to bed unhappy because I played so late. There had been some talk about meeting up later after my match but that wasn’t happening. Mental note to self to never try to plan anything on Thursday nights except play pool – especially, since I’m playing on two teams now. Also, mental note to self to not call Lee and wake her up afterwards, either.

By Saturday I had finally caught up on my sleep. Lee and I lounged in bed that morning and then went to have coffee and sandwiches before she went off to play tennis and I to do a landscape installation. The weekend was good but Sunday I felt my battery start to drain after being at an outdoor festival all day. Lee and I had gone to the grocery store to do our weekly shopping together. Part of me was glad we did it but the other part really didn’t want to be at the grocery store at 7:30 on a Sunday night. When we got back to my house Lee said she might just run back to her house and check on the cats and put her groceries away and come back. I didn’t think I would still be awake by that time and said so.

“Why don’t we just call it a night?”

“Are you sure because I can just run home and be back in an hour.”

I needed to get my stuff together so I could ride my motorcycle in to work and make my lunch. I realized that I needed some down time and just wanted to lounge in bed and finish a Netflix movie I had started.

“Yeah, I’m sure. I have stuff to do and I’m tired.” So, Lee left. Even though she didn’t let on I could tell she was disappointed. I called her later and asked if she was upset with me and she said she wasn’t and blamed it on her monthly cycle.

Lee’s a pretty fantastic gf and I’m crazy about her but sometimes after spending a lot of time together I feel the walls closing in. I think she could be with me every day and night. If that were the case then I don’t things would be so great and her be so fantastic. Why I need space and balance from time to time.

As the movie I was watching finished up a text came in from this person asking how I was and could we get together this week. I texted back that I couldn’t until June because of work and bootcamp, [not to mention spending time with current gf].

Sometimes you just have to prioritize, too.

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