smashed hump-day

Yesterday was a bad day. I was either angry or frustrated all day over several different things. Most were things that were my sh*t but others were out of my control.

That morning when I hit the snooze on the alarm I did not want to get up. I lay there seriously considering calling in sick and just doing nothing all day. Doing nothing is kind of a big deal to me because I almost never allow myself that luxury. When I do, I feel guilty for loafing off and think of all the things I need to be doing. With that, I threw back the covers and slid my feet into my flips and padded out to the kitchen to check the pulse on the cat (he’s an old guy and I suspect that any day now he’s going to kick the bucket) and make coffee. Thankfully, I was greeted with a meow but no coffee. I had forgotten to make it the night before and set the timer. I sighed – I hate when I forget to do this. I poured the remaining coffee from the previous morning into a mug and popped it into the microwave.

After I got ready I debated on whether or not to ride in. My phone app was saying 40% but the radio said 70% late afternoon – meaning, rush hour. Of course. Atlanta is notorious for having flash flooding and heavy rain right around rush hour. As if our traffic isn’t bad enough. I decided not to chance it and got in the truck.

Normally, I don’t let work or people I work with (including my boss) get to me and I’m pretty easy going and let things roll off. Although, that day I could tell people were on my nerves and wondered again why I just didn’t call in. Again, a pang of guilt hit me and I told myself this was my fault for working the weekends and not giving myself a break.  Anyway, I got into it with my boss. I normally don’t leave my cubicle unless it’s to the restroom or to get water or ice- and sometimes go to lunch but most times I eat at my desk. I was doing that but stopped to talk to another coworker for awhile and he came looking for me. I knew he was wound up over a project he was [trying] working on but I didn’t care. When he walked up he said he needed me in the office and to stop talking to [co-worker name]. I followed him in to our area (I wanted everyone else to hear this) and said, “I was just at the restroom and getting ice while my computer rebooted.” Everyone else in the division gets frustrated with him as well because he thinks he’s in charge of keeping track of everyone and is constantly asking people where so-and-so is if they’re not in their seat. Just then another co-worker said, “Oh, you left without your hall pass.” Whereas my boss turned and asked her if that was necessary to which she replied, “You’re acting as if it’s necessary. Why don’t you write Lanie up for going to the bathroom and getting ice?” It was ridiculous, I know. I sat down and simmered. I had let him get to me. Normally, I just tilt my head to the side and act like a dumb blonde and say “Sorry I didn’t know” when I’m in trouble. (I works most of the time on men who power-trip)

The rest of the day I was in a funk along with having computer issues – which, was really the reason it all began was I kept complaining that I couldn’t open my files and that they took so long to load. My boss was like “Well, it’s your machine. Have you done this? Have you done that? Whattabout this?” To which I replied “Yes, yes and yes.” My job is computer intensive, however, I am not a f*cking I.T. person nor do I make anywhere near what an I.T. person would make so I shouldn’t have to fix the problem nor should this BE my problem and as they say in the government “This is above my pay grade.” It was when my boss told me to reboot (which, takes 10 minutes for my machine to do so) was when I left for the restroom to kill some time and, because I wasn’t sitting in my chair staring at the screen watching it load I got in trouble.

At 2:30 I took my liberal leave time to go work out. (we are allowed one hour of workout/physical fitness as part of our 8 hour day to which) I drove up to the gym, parked and went in. An officer saw me coming and opened the door for me and I said “Thank you.” It made me feel better. As I signed in there were three military guys working the front desk and I was greeted with “Afternoon, ma-am. Would you like a towel?” Polite and courteous. I changed into my workout clothes and took my stuff back out to the car. I looked up at the sky and it looked fine. I thought “Freaking liars. I could had ridden.” When I walked back in another officer opened the door for me. I thanked him, too and thought about how I like having doors opened for me. I went downstairs to do the dreaded 45 minute treadmill workout but took the remote control with me to turn on the baseball game. The workout went surprisingly fast. When I walked out it was starting to rain. I realized that I left my I.D. card sticking out of my computer in my office and went back for it. I parked and ran in just as the storm hit hard. Of course, my boss had already left. (I get there before him and leave after him every day) I was glad I hadn’t ridden afterall. I thought I would kill some time and let the storm subside and sat down at my computer to check my email when I heard a crack and the power went out. I pushed away from the computer and said, “You and me – we’re just not meant to be today.” and left.

As I passed 285 I saw a parking lot and kept going. I wove my way through town from Marietta to Midtown Atlanta on the back roads. Somehow getting on the highway that day was a very bad idea. By the time I got past Piedmont Park I swung into Landmark shopping center and drove down by the theater and parked. I needed a drink. I went into the Highlander had a 420 and then left. By the time I got home it was 7:00. I was tired and needed to start dinner. The steaks I had left out to thaw were well past thawing and warm. I threw them away and took the ones out of the freezer and thawed in the microwave. I went in to check the cat box and it was a mess and I was out of liter. I needed to go that night. I almost cried thinking about how hungry I was and how much I didn’t want to go to the store just then. It was an effort to get into the truck and drive next door to Wal-mart and get litter. It only took 30 minutes tops and when I got home I cleaned out the box and finished making dinner. It was past 8 when I sat down to eat and watch season 1 of the closer. I had never watched it before but been wanting to. When Kyra Sedgwick appeared on the screen I smiled for the first time that day.

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