tomorrow: another day

I had a very exhausting weekend teaching. I dragged home on Saturday after class and showered and changed. It felt so great to slip into flip flops and shorts. I took off for my favorite joint and ate the largest cheese burger they offered. I hadn’t had much to eat that day.  After that I went home and flopped. I was so tired and felt defeated. Weak even.

‘Tomorrow is another day.’ I thought before going off to bed.

The next morning I was up at 5:00 a.m. to get ready for class. As I poured a cup of coffee I scrolled through my emails and texts. One text from Lee: (who, I might add isn’t supposed to text me) “It isn’t the same here w/o you.” I knew she had gone to Savannah over the weekend and all I could think was “Good. F-you.” Like I really needed to hear her whiny-@ss sh*t right then.

I also had an email from her saying (for the fourth time) that she’s now on FB (not friending her) and she was at Fannie’s on Tybee Island and included a picture. I found it funny that she’s now on FB when the whole time we were together I tried to get her on there and she said it was stupid. I deleted the message. There, I felt better. I got ready and went off to class and had a better day.

So, Lee has friended Ellen on FB and knows now that we’re going to Key West together. She even made this comment to a link I posted on Ellen’s page about Women’s week:

“Hope you guys have a blast. Wish I could go! Never been to Key West.”

“Uh, Oh – Lee knows I’m going to Key West with you.” To Ellen.

“I figured she’d find out sooner or later. I choose to believe that she’s gonna be okay ‘til age proves me wrong.”

“I’m sure I will get an email either way.”

Which, I did. I won’t bore you will another rambling email from Lee (Goddess knows there’s been so many) but she basically said she’d been an @ss to me for the last 8 months and that she was sorry (Good, not that I accept your apology right now. So easy to say “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry” and then move back in with your ex.) and to have fun in Key West.  

Yeah, I will! I really can’t wait until it gets here and no – no dates for me this week. I will be too busy preparing for my trip. I hope to post a bit while I am there but I haven’t decided yet if I am taking my computer. What I wouldn’t do for an iPad right now.

 

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spark

Yesterday, I emailed Jess to check and see if we were still on for our date that evening. I got a reply back of “Yes, and I will let you chose the place this time.” I replied with the same restaurant that I said previously and she replied with a ‘is that next to [burger joint] – lol’. I wasn’t sure if she was kidding or not. I couldn’t believe anyone who lived in her neighborhood would not know where the restaurant was – especially, since it’s a popular French Bistro. I blew it off and gave her a general location.

That day I got off work early to take some documents downtown. As I was driving home my phone rang – it was her.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Lanie – it’s Jess.”

I wanted so bad to say “Can you hold, please” but I didn’t. “Hey, Jess, what’s up?”

“Do you have a minute to talk? Is this a good time?”

Gee, why so serious so soon? I had  a feeling she was going to try to move the date to another night again. “Sure, whats’ up” Just spit it out, woman.

“I was wondering if we could change the venue tonight. If you would mind.”

Ok, she asked me to choose the venue in the first place but I didn’t care as long as it didn’t start with a “Mc” and end with an “anolds.”

“Ok, what do you have in mind?”

“Well, [restaurant] is really close to my loft and I thought if I could talk you in to going there I would just walk over. They have a really good wine selection and have just put out their seasonal menu. Plus, [restaurant that I named] doesn’t have the wine selection and I was just really craving a glass of [name of wine].

So, she did know where the restaurant was but was just joking. Wine snob – especially, since she thought French Bistro had a poor wine selection. But there’s worse things, I guess. I had never been to the restaurant before but I always liked to try new ones and said, “Sure. That sounds nice.”

“Ok, I will see you at 7:00 then.”

I wandered in to the restaurant fifteen minutes early It was in a renovated warehouse that had exposed brick walls. There were windows up high and the lighting was low. I loved the atmosphere immediately. I pulled up a chair at the bar and ordered a Zinfandel from Paso Robles. I could be a wine snob myself.  I no more took the first sip when I heard “Are you Lanie?” Jess was early as well. She sat down to my left and we started talking after she ordered a blend from Northern California. The conversation flowed a little easier after that. Despite being the same age,  Jess appeared to be slightly older than her public online picture but attractive all the same. She was dressed in jeans, a starched oxford shirt over a white crew neck t-shirt. I noticed the watch she was wearing was in the upper k’s and she had a diamond band on her right hand as well as diamond studs in both ears. I immediately formed the impression the woman had a lot of disposable income and it was confirmed later by her referring to “one of her cars” as being in the upper 100k categories. I just couldn’t’ imagine affording such a luxury item. When she told me what her car payment was I almost spit my wine out across the bar. It was more than my mortgage payment. Despite my assumption being correct and the differences in income levels it did not make me uncomfortable. I looked around the restaurant and thought it was a rather upscale place for being the location of a first date. I wondered if I had chosen one of the beer pubs/joints or even chosing the French Bistro that I frequent  put her off. I also thought that there couldn’t be too many more dates like this or I would be broke very fast.

Dinner and the conversation was very nice. I enjoyed it. I learned all about her motorcycle (despite not seeing it that night), her two dogs and her family. Like myself, her mother passed in ’99. Unlike myself she was the oldest of four siblings who she was very close to. I heard a lot about her job but only after she asked me about mine. Unlike my earlier fears she didn’t go on and on about herself although there could have been more questions directed my way. After a wonderful dinner I offered to walk her to her loft. On the way there we passed a small lounge that I had no idea existed. We decided to go inside and have an after dinner drink. She knew the bartender and server and we were introduced to the only other patron who was sitting at the bar. The place was dead and I wondered how it wasn’t in the red until Jess told me that it was a write off for one of the doctors who owned a loft in her complex. We split a drink that I had never heard of – a Pisco sour. It was very good and Jess talked about how she made them herself with key limes.

Afterwards, I walked her to the gate of her loft but stopped right there to say goodbye. She knew I had an early morning  and apologized for keeping me out too late.

“Oh, no it’s fine – I had a good time. Thanks!”

“You ok to walk back to your car?”

“Oh yeah [I have my knife] I’m fine.”

I walked back across the street and to the valet for my car. It was a nice evening but I didn’t feel any spark what-so-ever. I could see the possibility of going for a ride together or even playing golf but nothing more. As I pulled in to the carport I got a text:

“Did you go to the Kid Rock/Sheryl Crow concert tonight?”

Teri. There’s the spark.

flexibility & accessibility

I’m just doing my time until the work day is over. It’s one of those days where everyone is getting under my skin. Tonight Ellen and I are going to a tasting party. It’s in a neighborhood near us and there are going to be a lot of people there we know. It should be fun.

Last night, I was supposed to have another online date with a woman who has the same kind of motorcycle as one of mine. We were supposed to ride to the date so we could look at each other’s bikes. Originally, the woman, Jess, called it – “How about Wednesday?”

“Sure, I can do that. Where and when?”

“Oh, well I was hoping you would pick but since you live in [neighborhood] and I live [neighborhood] perhaps we can meet at [pizza place] in the middle.”

[Pizza’s safe – hopefully, no slimy comments and I don’t like anchovies much anyway] “Fine with me 6 or 6:30?”

“Oh, well I have a conference call that day it’s –blah, blah, blah work stuff that I have no idea nor care about – how about 7:30?”

[Well, if you knew you had the said conference call then why plan the date that day?] “Ok, sure.” I loathe eating too late but was willing to be flexible since it was the first date.

“Thanks for being flexible.”

Yesterday afternoon I got another email from her saying that she wasn’t sure if she would be out of the conference call by 6 and could we meet somewhere closer to her loft in [her neighborhood] and that she probably wouldn’t ride. [wasn’t that whole point in meeting?] I shrugged as I read the email and wrote “Sure, here’s my phone number just call or text when you know what you want to do. This restaurant [linking it] is a pretty good place near [your neighborhood].”

By the time I got home I had a message from her on my phone saying she wasn’t sure about even 7:00 and could we change the date to Friday instead? She had gone in to a long explanation on the voicemail about California being on the call and France and that since she was a new member of the team – blah, blah, blah. I listened to the message and hoped this wasn’t going to be someone who always had to talk about their job and how important they were. I sighed and called her back.

“Hey, it’s Lanie.”

“Oh, hey can you hold on a minute?”

Before I could reply I heard her talking to someone else in the background. I waited. Finally – “I’m sorry, yes Lanie.”

“Yeah, Friday’s fine. Works out better for me anyway.”

“Great, great I just have about two meetings going at once and –

I cut her off before she could go into another long explanation of what her work is and said, “GREAT! I’ll let you scoot. See you then!” and hung up.

Again, this is another date with someone I met online (like the slimy woman) so I am not holding my breath on this one motorcycle or not. I am starting to wonder if a large portion of people who are online lack socialization skills and common knowledge of dating etiquette.

In other news Lee has pretty much left me alone since our talk after her meltdown on Monday. She’s emailed me a few times. I told her she could email from time to time but not to blow up my in box. I still had to email her and ask her where she put my spare key, the address for the place we bought our bracelets in Savannah (since mine broke) and asked her to thank her folks for the birthday card and subway gift certificate they sent. For that one email asking her those simple questions I’ve gotten three in return which I haven’t answered. The last one I received she wrote that she was thinking of moving back to Savannah, that she had scored a couple of design jobs and was wondering if her current job (one I helped her get) would let her work remotely. ‘Hmm, I doubt that since their headquarters are here.’ I thought. So, she’s still on a quest to keep moving around never being settled and is probably going to F up the current job she has. The girl is like a moth to a flame – always seeking out unrest. Last night eating sushi [slimy] with Ellen:

“She still is convinced you’re going to be together again in a few months.”

“Yeah, how is that going to work with her moving back to Savannah?”

“Long distance relationship, I guess.”

“Yeah. Right. She never asked me what I wanted. All she could say on the phone the other night was ‘Here’s where I see us in a few months. We hang out once a week, start back with a clean slate and we’re back.’  Like it’s that easy – [snapping fingers] SHAZAM and we’re back! What about living with Bertha? What about all that shit about ‘Maybe I should be alone’ or ‘Maybe I should have dated more.’ The only reason she wants me now is because she doesn’t HAVE me.”

“I know. She says she wants to marry you on the beach and spend the rest of her life with you. That you two should be together.”

“I had to actually be forceful and say ‘Lee, I want to date right now. Period.’ and ‘I don’t see us getting back together.’I mean, I almost wonder if I should have told her I’ve already slept with someone already.”

“Ooh, I don’t think so. That’s your business and you were broken up.”

“True. It is my business.”

“Have you heard from Teri?”

“Sigh no – not since she FB stalked me again the other night.”

“She did that again? What happened?”

“Oh, well remember the other night I wanted to go to pub around the corner to have nachos?”

“Yes, the night Lee was coming over to my house to get her paintings. I remember.”

“So, I went to the pub, checked in on FB and I got a comment from Teri: ‘I see u’ Like she’s there or something but she wasn’t. I commented back ‘where?’ Just then Edi – RONNIE comments ‘Hey, we hooking up tonight?’ I knew this not to be true as I had just spoken to her on the phone and she said she was going to stay in and do laundry. [or so she thought!] I knew Ronnie was just trying to do a fake cock-block to make Teri jealous so I replied “Yah” at the same time I’m texting Ronnie saying thanks we’re going to check in somewhere else together next.

“So, what happened? Did she show?”

“No after the cock-block from Ronnie she commented ‘Gotcha’. Like the whole thing had been a game to her.”

“That’s weird.”

“Yeah, weird? Playful? Or just plain bitchy? Who knows. After that I checked Ronnie and I in to [restaurant up the road].

“I assumed you went there. I ‘liked’ your check-in.”

“Yeah, that was a fake cock-block check in.”  

So, probably in two weeks Lee will lose her sh*t again because I haven’t made any plans with her but I will be in Key West at women’s week and won’t be accessible to email or my phone…………..but I will be to the thousands of women who are there. Counting down the days…..

 

 

Lee loses it

Lee lost her ever-living mind today.

She had been sending me these long emails about wanting to talk to me, us getting back together and whatever rambling whatever she could throw in for good measure.

To Ellen: “Sigh, I got another book from Lee today.”

“I know. She called me and she’s having a hard time with this break.” 

“Oh, I know. I don’t want to reply because I know it’s going to be a shitstorm of emails.”

“She seems to think that you’re only on a month break and that it’s almost been a month and time to get back together.”

“I told her in the last email that it was a permanent break, that I wanted to see other people and that she should start getting used to that idea.” 

“I know but she keeps fixating on the month.”

The weekend went by and you all know what I was up to. Yesterday, I was feeling down about the bad date and the hookup date giving me the brush off. I took my laptop to my favorite pub (that happened to be across the street from the pub she FB stalked me on Friday and in her neighborhood) and wrote. I ate my edename, wrote and then closed up the laptop and went home and crashed. Hard. This morning at 5 a.m. I slapped the snooze button and rolled over to get some more z’s. Finally, I woke up again and bounded out of bed because it was 6:15 – the time when I am usually running out the door to work. I dragged in late only to remember that my desktop was at the shop being repaired. I decided to hook my laptop up to the flat screen monitor so I could work on two screens instead of one. Which, is really a necessity because I work with a lot of data from different forms. In doing so I knocked a full cup of water all over my desk. I cursed and cleaned it all up. It was almost 9 before I was able to do any real work. That’s when the first email of the day came in from Lee. I sighed as I read it and then closed the email down and started to work. After a while I walked in to my bosses office and sat down. We have always had an open door policy.

“What’s up?”

“Do you think I could take off the week after Labor Day?”

“Well, I don’t know but I could talk to the Major and see.” 

“Would you? I appreciate that.”

“Sure, I’ll try to catch him today.”

Ellen had a trip planned to Key West Women’s week and was rooming with her two friends from Florida. They had originally planned to have a 4th – Ellen’s gf but she had bailed. There was a slot and a standing invitation open. I had been looking at airfare and thought it was doable if I could get the time off.

“This will be just the thing to cheer me up. If I get the time off then it’s a sign and I’m going to do it.” I thought.

Just then my boss poked his head around the corner of my cubicle and said, “Major says ok you can have off.”

I hit the button just then confirming the ticket. “This is just what I need. Blondes, bikinis and Bushwackers.” I thought.

I was flying high and getting ready to leave for the gym when another email from Lee came in. I glanced at it and closed up my laptop but not before seeing one line that said:

“-if I meant shit to you then call me to talk after 4.” 

Like I was going to rush to the phone right then and call Lee. I did a grueling 45 minute treadmill workout and as I was leaving the gym I got a text from Ellen.

Just warning you. Lee is in anger mode.”

“Oh, I know – got the email.”

“I will call her back and try to talk her down.”

“Ok, will call you when I get home.”

Between conversations with Ellen it was determined that Lee wanted to see me tonight and get her paintings back. She had left those for me and suddenly wanted them back. I told her that I was not going to see her all angry like that. The girl needed to chill. If she was going to get anything from me then anger was not the way to go about it. After work, I took the paintings over to Ellen’s and dropped them off so Lee could pick them up then went off to the grocery. I hadn’t been in almost a month and the milk I threw out last night had mold in it. While I was in the store Lee started blowing up my phone with texts.

“She really has lost it.” I told Ellen.

“I know. I tried to talk her down but not sure I was getting anywhere.”

Just then the phone beeped and I saw that Lee was calling. “That’s her. I’m gonna talk to her.”

I picked up and was greeted by sobbing “I love you. I don’t-want-to-loose-you. I’ve changed. Bertha and I are not talking – I’ve cut her out of my life and [Muscle Head], too. 

I was like, “Wait, wait slow down a minute. Take a breath. Geez.”

So, we talked and yeah, she wants to get back together. I explained to her that just because she’s made these changes [in the two weeks we’ve been apart] that I’m not going to just jump right  back in again, that I wanted to date, see other people.

“But, I want to be friends.”

“I do, too, but it’s going to take awhile.” 

“How.long. Because you are the love of my life. I want to be with you. I want to spend-the-rest-of-my-life-with-you.” She hiccupped out.

I don’t know how long. I mean, I’m not putting a time on this nor making any promises that we are going to get back together. I don’t know right now.”

“So, those 8 months were for nothing. You don’t feel anything?”

I reminded her that if I hadn’t felt anything then we certainly wouldn’t have made it that long. I went over the Muscle Head thing again, Bertha, moving, her insecurities, lashing out, no friends that don’t want to kiss her – all.of.it.

I just want to hang out like, once a week.”

“As friends or more.”

“More. I will give you your space. You can even date other people. I just want to SEEEE you.” She wailed.

Geez, this wasn’t going anywhere near where I had hoped it would go. I picked up a knife and started dicing chicken and celery to make chicken salad to take in my lunch. The cat was rubbing up against my leg.

“I know I need to work on some things and I WILL. I’ve made these changes. Bertha is just my landlord we have stopped all communication.”

“Well, here’s what I want. I want to see other people. I think you should too.”

“I don’t want to see anyone else.”

“Well, be alone but this is what I need to do. Let’s work on a friendship.”

“Ok, so when will I see you?” 

“Whoa, whoa I can’t put a time limit on this. We’ll just have to wait and see but blowing up my phone and email is not going to be conducive to us being friends.”

“Ok, I will respect your space but I hope we can get together soon. I hope we can get back together eventually.”

“I can’t promise that right now, Lee, but I will try to get to a place were we can be friends.” 

“Ok, I guess that’s all I can hope for right now.”

We finally hung up and I put the chicken salad in the fridge. I mean, I hope we can be friends but right now I don’t want to get back with her. Don’t get me wrong – I do miss her. I did love her. I fought hard for the relationship those months. I broke up because there seemed to be nothing else left to do but argue. But, right now all I want to do is take it one day at a time. Plus, I’m going to Key West for Women’s week and –

-I’m still haunted by the girl with the startling blue eyes.

*Side note: Edith’s name will change per her request to “Ronnie”. I have changed her link to the side as well——>

slimy

Well, I think I’m done with the girls for a while. I need a break from the b.s.

I went out with Shari on Saturday and while she is a very nice woman, I’m just not in to her. It was kind of a debacle if you really want to know. After seeing Teri on Friday night it went back to the same as right after our Wednesday night date. No texting, no communication, nothing. I mean, before our date there were many texts – the girl would take study breaks and blow up my phone with texts. After Wednesday not as many and it dropped back to one-word answers or replies. Saturday night I had shot off a text to her of: “How’s your day?” an innocent enough question without any reply. I couldn’t understand why it was like this since the previous night we had held hands under the table and kissed. I shook my head and put my phone in my pocket and went into the restaurant to meet Shari.

The place was crowded, as I knew it would be. Even though she had recommended this seafood place saying it was her favorite she kept referring to “slimy seafood” when I asked her if she like oysters. All I could think about was what Teri had said about loving them. I could almost see her and I shoved up to the bar digging in to a dozen with hot sauce and horseradish. My earlier conversation with Edith consisted of this:

“Man, I’m going to order a dozen and slurp them right out of the shell in front of her.”

Dude. You don’t want to do that if you want to be kissed. I wouldn’t kiss someone who ate those in front of me – especially, thinking they were disgusting and slimy.”

“Maybe I don’t want to be kissed.”

“Isn’t there anything on the menu that you can get that is safe? Like fish tacos or something?”

I shrugged, “Ok, I like their catfish tacos so I could order them.”

“Good girl!”

As I was looking around for a place to sit Shari texted me saying she was there. I looked across the bar and she had taken the only available seat. I walked over and stood behind her until she looked around and saw me standing there and said, “Hi!” I stood there and talked to her while she sat. She wasn’t ordering a drink but I wanted one. I had put my name in for a table on the roof like she wanted and told her so. Just then the guy beside her paid his tab and got up and I slid onto the stool.

“We could eat here at the bar if you wanted.”

“Sure, I mean it doesn’t matter to me either way.” I said.

We ordered an appetizer of steamed shrimp and scallops. “You can eat the scallops since I think they’re slimy, too.”

I was already reaching my threshold for hearing that word but ordered a drink and let it go. I mean, what if I wanted some shrimp, too? Just as the appetizer was sat down on the bar in front of us my phone vibrated signaling that our table upstairs was ready.

“Hey, that table upstairs is ready. Do you want to go up there or stay here?”

“Oh, lets go up there. I really want to sit up there.”

So, I got up and went over to the hostess stand and said we’d be up as soon as we closed out our tab at the bar. I went back to the bar and signaled the bartender that we needed our tab.

“Do we need to close out with you before we go upstairs?” I asked her.

“Yes, you do.”

There was no offer to transfer our tab upstairs or to take our food up there. After paying for the apps and bar tab (I had offered since I had had a beer) I had to carry the food upstairs to our table myself. Since I had my hands full with my beer and our appetizer I didn’t get the silverware or napkins. Shari never got them, either. I hoped that there were some on the table. When we got there no one was there to seat us so I just grabbed the first available table with no silverware.

“Oh, that ceiling fan is blowing right on me and my hair is everywhere do you think we could sit somewhere else?” Suddenly, the evening was getting very stressful with the musical chairs and the fan. I signaled the server if we could move and she said, “No, I’m expecting a party of 25 here soon and this is the only available table.” I just looked at Shari like ‘what do you want to do?’

Shari asked the server if she could get up on a stool and turn the fan off. I could tell the server was getting impatient when she said, “Ok, but if I turn this one off then they all turn off.”

Since upstairs is considered sitting outside and it’s been in the upper 90’s in the city I really thought it was asking a lot of the other patrons there to not have any circulating air going just so Shari’s hair wouldn’t blow around a little but I didn’t say anything. The server compromised and got up on the stool and turned it down a notch in speed. I sighed with relief that we weren’t going to be sitting in a bog of heavy air during dinner. We hadn’t even touched our appetizer yet.

I opened up the parchment paper the seafood came in and popped a scallop in my mouth since we DIDN’T have any silverware and Shari went “Oooh, slimy.”

“Actually, they’re the same texture as the shrimp. They’re good!”

“It’s ok, I’m trying to watch my weight anyway. I lost over 100 pounds and am still trying to take off a few more pounds.”

It sounded like she was insecure about her weight. I thought she was attractive and who was I to tell if she needed to loose some more weight or not. I decided to compliment her to possibly make her feel more at ease. “Hey, you look great!”

“Thanks, but I used to weigh over 300 pounds. I had to have the skin cut off my arms after losing all that weight. The scars from my surgery are still healing that’s why I were long sleeves.”

‘This is a nightmare.’ I thought. I had suddenly lost my appetite. I covertly looked at my watch and sighed inwardly. We hadn’t even ordered our entrees’ and already I was ready to go. I changed the subject to hockey and other sports then when she mentioned the weight thing again I changed it to politics – which, I only talk about in last ditch efforts to change the subject. Honestly, I loathe talking about religion and politics but it was a desperate moment here. I felt sweat trickle down my back. ‘I have to get out of here.’ I thought. Our entrees’ finally came – her salad and me fish tacos. I still felt like I should have gone with my gut and ordered the oysters but couldn’t take another slimy comment.

“Can I get you desert or anything else?” the server asked.

As I was getting ready to say, “No, the check would be great.” Shari piped up and said, “Oh, the bread pudding would be great. Do you want to split it with me?”

The thought of some hot baked item steaming on a plate after I had been sitting there sweating all night from the sluggishly slow ceiling fan was the very last thing on earth I wanted but I shrugged and said, “Oh, well I don’t really do deserts but I will have a couple of bites. I’m really full though.”

“Ok, let’s get it.”

The server went off to put in the order and I sighed again inwardly and looked at my watch. This was going to take forever and what were all the ‘watching my weight’ comments if she was going to order desert? Desert arrived 20 minutes later, which she took two bites of and left laying on the table. I had debated on ordering another beer but decided not to. I resigned in the conversation of politics and weight loss like an inmate in a maximum-security prison I was just doing my time until I got out. When she excused herself to go to the ladies room I signaled for the check and immediately picked up my phone and replied to a few of my friends who had texted “How’s it going?” I texted back. “Desert done. I’m out.”

“Where did you park?” We had walked outside and were standing in front of the restaurant.

“Oh, over there.” I pointed in no particular direction. I didn’t want her walking me to my truck and putting the ball in her court to kiss me. I did not want to be kissed. I regrettably thought about those oysters again. Never again would I compromise something I really wanted just because of the possibility of getting a kiss – one that turned out that I didn’t want. “Here, let me walk you to your car.” I offered in hopes of putting the kissing/not kissing ball back into my court.

We walked further down the sidewalk and she pointed to her car across the street and said, “There’s my car.” I never looked that way so I still don’t know what she drove. “Well, I’d better get home and get on the treadmill. Got to work off these calories.”

“You’re going to work out at this hour?”

“Oh yeah. I keep weird hours and you know I’m still trying to drop a few pounds this week and it’s not over yet.”

“Ok, well have fun. Nice to meet you.”

“It was fun. Let’s do it again. Call me.”

‘Right, when slimy oysters fly’. I thought. “Ok, drive safe.” And I turned around and practically ran walked the opposite direction, which was the long way to my truck.

********************************************************************

Today, I got up and did some things around the house and then went out to get lunch. I checked in on FB and noticed 30 minutes later that Teri had checked in to another taco place up the street. I still hadn’t heard back from my text from the day before. Later, I texted her:

“Hey, what are you up to? Do you want to go for a ride?”

Her reply: “Hey…Believe it or not I’m studying. I’ll be available for fun activities after 9/7!

I put the phone down. I’m not so sure I’m going to be available then or anymore for her. I’m no dummy. I get the drift. She’s just not that in to me – despite the test. Things changed after Wednesday. I never should have ended up in bed with the girl. For once, I regret it. I regret even putting myself out there and opening myself up yet again for disappointment. I am so over everything. Lee, bad dates, being blown off by a girl that I was really excited about getting to know. I’m done for a while.

breaking all the rules

Since our date/booty call/soiree Teri and I have traded a few texts here and there. Honestly, it hasn’t been the hot, furious texting of a few hours like before we met on Wednesday. I was just going with it, though. I am so sick and tired of analyzing everything. The girl is studying for her medical boards coming up in a few weeks. I’m sure she’s stressed out about it since she’s already accepted a job with a prestigious hospital that hinges on her passing. In short, she’s got a lot going on and so do I – always. So, I basically just chocked it up to her needing break from all the stress and studying with a roll in the hay and left it at that.

Yesterday on the phone with Edith:

“Have you spoken to the girl since the other night?”

“Spoken? No, we’ve texted a few times.”

“Really? Just texted? Do you like this girl?”

“Well, yeah. She’s hot and fun but I’m not going to chase her if that’s what you’re saying.”

“Have you heard from her today?”

“Not yet. I’m waiting for her to text me. I mean, the girl has a lot going on. Plus, I have my date with Shari on Saturday.”

“You have a date with another woman on Saturday?”

“Yes, what I said. Sheez!” 

“You should text Teri – maybe she’s waiting for you to text her. It wouldn’t hurt to text ‘hey, how are you.”

“I don’t know, dude. I’m not chasin’. All along she’s initiated – even in friending me and tracking down my phone number and texting me. Why change the pattern?”

“It can’t hurt. All I’m sayin’”

Later, Sloan was in my cubicle talking to me. I was telling her about getting yet another long, drawn out email from Lee. Honestly, the girl is in total denial about this breakup. I had to get ready for my session with the trainer at the gym and Sloan went with me into the restroom and talked to me while I changed. Slipping off work clothes and putting on workout clothes:

“You mean you haven’t texted Teri today? Girl. I would be all over that.”

“That’s you, Sloan. Not me. I am too old to chase. Plus, this girl has a lot going on. Hell, I don’t even know if she likes me after the other night. She could just be backing off a little and I don’t want to scare her away.”

There it was. I’d said it. To Sloan, even. I cringed as I put on my running shoes.

“Lanie, if she’s not in to YOU then that’s her problem. You are hot and you know it.”

Leave it to Sloan to boost my ego not that I needed it but it was nice from time to time – especially this time. I came out of the stall just then and after dumping off the bag in my cube we walked up to the gym together.

“My concept on women [I thought, ‘This is going to be good’ as she said it] is that ALL women want to be wanted and chased.” 

[Hmm, not bad for a 28 year old] “Well, yes they do and in this case I do.” 

“Well, all I’m saying is that it wouldn’t hurt to text the girl and ask how studying was going or something. It’s not going to seem like you’re chasing or pursuing.” 

“Maybe.” 

“And, maybe she is waiting to hear from you. Maybe she feels that same way you do after the other night – like you don’t like her and you’re backing off.” 

I never thought of it that way. After a grueling workout with Aussie and while I walked back to the office to collect my things and change into my riding suit I texted Teri.

“Hey, how’s the studying going?”

“It’s ok. Going to workout now.” 

We traded texts on working out until I had to get on the bike and texted her that.

“Ok, be careful”

Later, once I was home I was texting both her and Shari. Shari and I had started to text each other just that day. We went from messaging each other on match to FaceBook to exchanging numbers. She wanted to talk on the phone before our date Saturday night.

I texted my friend, Carla, and asked what her and Siobhan were doing that night. She replied that they might go out for a drink. I said that I was going to the pub up the street from her and asked if they wanted to walk up and join me. She replied “sure, see you soon.” I wanted to pick her brain about Teri a bit. Once at the pub/restaurant we all sat down outside because it was crowded and noisy inside and I wanted to talk.

“So, what’s up with Teri?”

“I was kinda hoping you could tell me. I mean, do you know this girl?”

“Nope, we only know Theresa who she was dating. Have you talked to her since the other night?” 

“Just a few texts. Wait let me check us all in on FaceBook.” I picked up my phone and checked the three of us in. “No, just a few casual texts back and forth. I mean, nothing intimate and nothing like before we met on Wednesday.” Just then my phone vibrated.

“Speak of the devil it’s Teri wanting to know if I’m at [bar in neighborhood]” 

“Well, ask her down for a drink.” 

I texted back, “Yeah, come over if you want.”

She replied, “Yay! One beer for me!”

“See, she likes you she’s coming.” Carla said.

I was excited but didn’t want to show it. A few minutes later she came walking up in shorts, t-shirt, tennis shoes and holding her half helmet. She’d ridden her scooter. I sighed inwardly and bit my tongue. I found this ironic for a future PA and recent graduate of medical school. She was breaking all the rules when it came to riding but, tonight was not the time to give her a lecture on it.  She sat down beside me and said hi. Just then Ellen came walking up and joined us saying she hoped it was ok that she stalked us on FB. We all started talking and I felt Teri squeeze my hand under the table. I turned to her and she kissed me again. I felt Ellen and Carla smiling my way but acted like it was no big deal. We were just kissing, she liked me ok, we were just hanging out, she was just taking a study break. All of that went through my mind rapidly after that kiss. I sighed inwardly again. ‘I don’t think I can see much more of this little girl without totally being in to her. For gawds sake, just enjoy it for now, Lanie. Geez, you have to analyze every-f*cking-thing. Goddess she looks so cute, though.’ I thought to myself.

We talked and drank although Teri only had one beer and switched to iced tea. I was thankful I didn’t have to lecture on riding impaired. A few times just Teri and I were talking while Ellen, Carla and Siobhan talked. Teri and I had talked quite a bit about her family, coming out and so forth. Despite only really knowing the girl for a week I knew quite a bit about her so far. I was in the middle of telling a serious story when I heard laughing behind me. Siobhan had been making faces behind my head while I was talking to Teri. I turned to Siobhan and said, “What are you doing?” and she laughed. I shrugged it off but I thought it was really immature and inappropriate at the time and then I felt stupid for even telling such a serious story. Granted Siobhan did a good job of breaking the mood and lightening it but I wondered not for the first time if it always had to be laughter and lightness. By [starting to] telling Teri something serious about myself I was opening up and disclosing something that I don’t share very often. Maybe it was all good that Siobhan broke it and that Teri will never know the rest of it.

We had a few more drinks and Siobhan was in story-telling mode. I love her stories and could envision myself going out and having drinks as buddies and telling stories. She is someone I see as being one of my ‘guy’ friends. I knew the evening was wearing down when she was in the middle of a story of getting married [to a man] and going on her honeymoon on a cruise. I was sitting there still trying to imagine Siobhan in a wedding dress and betrothed to a man when Carla shouted “I don’t want to hear about you f*cking that woman on the boat again.” [Obviously, Siobhan had had an affair with a woman during her honeymoon but it never became apparent because the story stopped right there]

If I still had a beer I would have spit it out across the table it was so funny. So, Carla had broken the mood of Siobhan’s story, which, was so ironic given what she did to me earlier. We got up and I hugged Carla and Siobhan and told Ellen I would walk her to her car after I walked Teri to her scooter.

“Be careful ok?” I said as I kissed her.

“I will. Thanks for letting me crash your party. Your friends are nice.”

“Yes, they are.” I lingered and kissed her again. “Ok, I’m going to go so you won’t be nervous by me watching you go.”

“Ok. Bye.”

“Bye. Text me when you’re home so I know that you made it safely.”

“I will.”

I turned and walked back towards Ellen who was sitting on the steps texting. We walked back to our cars.

“So, she seems really in to you?”

“You think so?  I mean, it’s just a thing.” 

We had gotten to our cars and Ellen hugged me and said, “Just enjoy it and try not to think about it too hard.”

“I will. Thanks for coming tonight. Talk tomorrow.”

I got in my truck and drove home. When I pulled in to my carport I got a text from Teri that she was home and thanking me for inviting her again.

“You’re welcome. Hey, would you ever want to ride the Triumph with me sometime?” [with more gear on, of course.]

“Yeah! Def” 

“Ok, we should go on it sometime.”

“Ok. Sweet!”

“;) ok goodnight”

“gnite” 

I turned off the lights, rolled over and tried not to think too hard about when I’d see her again.

Next up: Date with Shari and you know I will tell you all about it. Let’s hope this date Lanie doesn’t end up naked…………or not. To be continued………

first.date.

Last night I pulled up at the designated place. I was 5 minutes early but decided to just go inside and wait for her. I had no idea what kind of vehicle she drove and if she was there already. She wasn’t. In fact, my phone vibrated with a text from her saying that she was running a little late. I texted back if she wanted me to order her a drink and she said, “yes, thanks”. I ordered for us both and sat at the bar reading the paper. I had her beer sitting on the bar to the right of me. I felt someone move in on the left and sit very close. I looked up from the paper and it was her. Her leg was already brushing up against mine and she was close enough for me to see the freckles I had somehow missed the other night on top of her peaches and cream complexion. She had on a black tank with a white scarf around her neck. Her eyes looked more hazel in the light instead of shocking blue of the other night. I slid her beer down the bar until it rested in front of her. We toasted to her studying.

“This feels more like a date.”

“I thought it was a date?”

“It was, I mean, it is but I’m kind of nervous. Thank God for beer.”

“Why are you nervous?”

“I don’t know. I mean, I thought about you all week.”

“Since last Friday?”

“Yeah.”

We ordered wings to share and both agreed on liking them hot as we could stand it. We talked about Pensacola and our love for oysters. I think she is the only girl I’ve met that likes raw oysters as much as I do. Her phone rang and she picked up. She was having a conversation about a condo. I knew it had to be important so I didn’t mind the interruption. I studied her arms, her hands – I breathed her in. She smelled nice. She took my hand and held it while she was talking. She hung up and turned to me and before I knew it kissed me. I have never been kissed so early on a first date. It was kind of liberating not having to make the first move. Not having to think about it all night and wonder what it was going to be like.

We ate our wings and talked more. Later, we played a couple of games of pool until we ended up making out in the corner.

“Do you want to go back to your place and watch a movie?”

“Sure, but I have to warn you my place is a mess.”

“That’s ok. Is it close?”

“Yeah, follow me.”

She followed me to my house. I tried not to think about whether or not I had left underwear on the floor of my bedroom or anything else that could be laying out. I pulled up behind the bikes in the carport leaving her a space to my right. She pulled up right behind me. I got out and went and unlocked the door. We went inside and I turned on the light. My cat came out and meowed. She immediately went “Aww!” and reached down and pet him. Cats are good icebreakers that way. She went into the living room and sat down on the couch like she was really going to watch a movie. I went back into the kitchen and pulled the sheets out of the dryer and walked back into the living room and asked her to follow me. I prayed there would be no cat barf on the floor that we would slide in. We went into my bedroom. I did a visual no underwear laying out. But, what did it matter because after we made the bed we tore it up again.

I woke up with her head on my chest. Both of us had been asleep for only a few minutes.

“Should I tuck you in?”

“No, I will walk you out.”

She got up and started searching for her clothes. We couldn’t find her tank and finally found it shoved between the mattress and footboard. I pulled on jeans and a t-shirt and walked her out. We kissed again at the door and I asked her if she knew where she was going. She did. I went back inside, tore off my clothes and fell back in to bed. Peaches and cream and her soft moans filled my head as I drifted off.

Lee debacle

Now the Lee update.

Last weekend while I was teaching in Alpharetta Lee moved the remaining stuff that she had stored out of my spare room. Saturday, was a very long day and aside from Teri texting me it was very trying. There was a supervisor from the state auditing our class and we had a challenging day riding-wise not to mention my eye was giving me fits. When I finally plopped my dry bag down on the bed in my hotel room all I was thinking about was a cool shower, a cooler beer and to visit with my friend, Edith who was meeting me up there. I checked my emails and got this from Lee:

“I’m thinking about going to your house between 6 & 9.

Give this some thought…

 I know you mentioned possibly going fishing next weekend but if you are up to it and willing to work together since we do that so well…would you want to start the rest of the painting job? The only thing I have that weekend is a tennis match at 10am on Saturday.

I just want to help with a job I started with you so we can see it finish and be proud together that we got it done. It could also happen when it gets cooler out and we have had more time from each other. Up to you. Either way, I will keep it open for the possibility.”

Ok, I just broke up with the girl and now she’s wanting to make plans to help me paint my house. I looked at my watch and it was already after 6 and if I knew Lee she would be checking her phone every minute to see if I’d emailed back. I typed out a quick response that between 6 and 9 was fine and as far as the painting went let’s wait awhile.  After that, I went about my evening and weekend.

Sunday, I came home to a mug, a fish ceramic dish and several notes – two in the kitchen and one long one in the bedroom (she had to get stuff out of there, too). I read them and put them aside. Ellen was coming over that night and bringing steaks and I wanted her to read them and tell me what she thought.

It sounds like to me that she thinks we’re just going to get back together, like, next week or something.” I said, handing the first note to Ellen.

She read it and put it down and said, “I don’t know. Maybe not.”

“Read this one and this one.” I handed the other two over.

She read both and said, “Yeah, I think you’re right.”

“I mean, I’m just going to keep politely telling her that I need more time.”

“I wonder how long it will be until she gets angry over you not spending time with her?”

“I don’t know but I’m sure I will find out.”

Monday evening I sent off a brief email to Lee thanking her for the mug and fish and that I thought this was what was best for both of us to work on some things and grow and that I needed some time before we could be friends. I also told her to feel free to talk to Ellen about things (Ellen and I had already worked that out – Lee needs friends like Ellen and she is a neutral country)

Tuesday morning I got up and went in to the kitchen to put on the coffee. As I was sipping coffee I checked my email. There was a very long one from Lee. So long that I put my phone down and thought to myself that I’d read it later once I got to the office. My eye was still giving me pains squinting at the tiny screen. This is what it said:

“I’m glad you like the mug and fish. Couldn’t resist. 🙂
I totally agree with you about our personal growth. This time will be good for us. It hasn’t been fun and it hasn’t felt that great but I try to keep positive thoughts in my head and positive feelings in my heart. I have been doing a lot of thinking about things and how I got myself to this point. I have a lot to work on. I have to work on my strength to not allow people to influence me so much and go with my true and honest feelings. I need to know who to put the walls up with.
I miss our laughter, I miss sitting at the bar and talking for hours. I could go on but I know I need to stop for now. You know all of these things already.
It’s amazing how we are connected because just tonight I had a thought that I probably shouldn’t talk to Ellen anymore or hang out with her. The fact you mentioned that just amazes me. Coincidence? Who knows. Either way, it can’t be ignored that we kinda know how each other feels and the fact we can finish each others sentences too. We might be similar in that respect but we are different and that’s what makes it cool to hang out with you. The balance we once spoke about. You have shown me places I probably wouldn’t have gone and I actually enjoyed it. Fly fishing, clermont lounge, all the little pubs in Savannah.
It would be great to travel with you one day. You have so much to give when it comes to history and art and such a passion you have too. That’s great about you. I love that. It would definitely be nice to go where there is artwork since you have such an appreciation for it. That reminds me. Since you do have this appreciation, I did leave my mom’s painting and mine as well. I hope this is okay. If not, just let me know and I will come get them.
My guitar is there too if you decide to take lessons or a course at Emory. Feel free to use it all you want. Same with the desks.

 I do want us to be friends soon too. I miss your friendship and I miss you. I know, no matter what happens, we will always be friends. If it grows to something more, it will be because we started with a clean slate with no baggage and the freedom to do and say whatever is on our minds and in our hearts with no influence from the outside.
 Know that I am on the same page with you about friendship. I will be patient. I will respect that. It may be hard but just knowing that I have this communication with you makes me thankful. I do not want to be a needy person and nor do you. I don’t feel that I ever was with you. We supported each other and we were good for each other as you had mentioned last week. What I feel now is that I miss you and that I regret doubting the true feelings I have for you. I want a clean slate with you, even in friendship.
I hope I didn’t ramble on too much. I had to let my hair dry anyway before hitting the pillow. 🙂

Have a great week. Hope you are doing well and that your eye feels better. Give [cat] a hug for me.

Talk about rambling. I never wrote her back. I mean, what was I going to say to all that? We would never be a “clean slate” as long as she was living with Bertha. Hell, as long as Bertha was still in her life we’d never be a clean slate. As long as she was still friends with Muscle Head there wouldn’t be a clean slate. Finally, the fact that she was inconvenienced by my birthday plans – there will never be a clean slate after that. Yeah, I was happy she left the paintings – I was hoping she would in payment for letting her use that room. I wanted them both but I never said. I left it up to her on whether she wanted to take them or not but I wasn’t about to ask for them.

This morning I got another email from Lee. I sighed as I sipped my coffee and read it. It said:

“Hi Lanie,
Hope your week is going good. I’m actually getting a lot done with the apartment. I’m happy about that.
 I’m emailing because I just want to know you are safe. I heard there were 2 motorcycle accidents this morning. One was a fatality.
Please let me know you are okay.
 On another note…have you purchased tickets for Foster the People yet? If not let me know and I will get them for you and you can take whomever you want. You got them the last time, drove to Little 5 and to the concert, etc. It’s only fair in my mind. 🙂
Stevie Nicks is at chastain tonight. Oh well. I need to start keeping an eye out since I like concerts.

Have a great day.
Lee”

I just wrote her back that I was driving today and didn’t mention anything about the concerts. Ironically, Teri and I were texting about concerts just the previous night. I did send it on to Ellen with a “Sigh” written about the forwarding email.

Reply from Ellen: “Talk about passive aggressive.”

“You mean the part about her buying tickets for me to take someone else to the concert – lol. That was funny, wasn’t it?”

Ellen: “Also about Stevie Nicks being here tonight – like that’s a hint that she wants you to ask her to go.”

“Yeah, well that ain’t happenin’.”

Even if I didn’t have a date with a hot blonde and a pool cue.

If I were in Paris, I would say: Oooh la.la la-la la-la

Friday night I went to a surprise birthday party for a friend of mine’s girlfriend. I had asked Ellen earlier in the week if she was going and she said she was and I asked if I could ride with her over there and always obliging she said, “Sure.” The night of the party we got there a little early despite the drink we’d both had at my house prior. Our friend had gone to pick up her gf for the party so wasn’t there for introductions initially. As Ellen and I went around the kitchen introducing ourselves I noticed two blondes walk in. One of them took my breath away. I hung back and waited for them to make introductions. When the woman I was trying not to look at too hard at came up and introduced herself as Teri I couldn’t help but be mesmerized by her clear, blue eyes.

“Man, she’s a looker.” I said lowly to Ellen.

“She’s ok.” Ellen was being sarcastic.

But then the woman Teri was with, Theresa, pulled her into the corner and they started making out.

“I don’t see that at all.”

“Me neither.” Ellen shrugged her shoulders. Just then our friend and gf came in and we all shouted “Surprise” and then the real party began. She went around and hugged all of us. She was especially surprised that our friend had invited her sister from far away as a surprise – which, I thought was very sweet and amazing. We did lemon drop shots and then I loaded up a plate and took it into the living room and sat down on the couch. Just then Terri and Theresa walked in with their plates and sat down on the couch with Teri right beside me. I was pleased. As we ate we struck up a conversation of where each other lived. She said she was looking at houses and currently lived right up the street from one of my favorite pubs. She asked where I lived and I told her and she took out her phone and pulled up a map. I put my finger and thumb on the screen of the phone blowing up the map and pointed to my street. Just then my eye started watering a lot. I had scratched it on a holly shrub right before the party and it was killing me. Straining to see Terri’s phone had sent a shooting pain through my head and I excused myself and went out to Ellen’s car to get an asprin. I felt so stupid being at a party with a watery, drippy eye. I was having fun but it was giving me fits.

I came back from the car and decided to sit on the porch for a little while and talk to some women who were out there. They rode motorcycles and we got in to a lively discussion about bikes and riding. Teri and Theresa came out and sat down joining in. It came out that I was an instructor and taught classes for motorcycle safety. Someone asked Theresa if she rode and she said she used to but despite that she could “probably teach you a thing or to.” Meaning to me. I ignored her challenge and asked Terri what kind of scooter she had. Ellen came out and we then started talking about other things. Later, I was ready to leave. I needed sleep and had to get up early to teach that weekend. As we said goodbye to everyone both Teri and Theresa were there and one of them said we should keep in touch and exchange information. I wasn’t crazy about giving my number to Theresa but knew it would look strange if I just gave Teri my phone number. I had no idea what the status of their relationship was and thought it would be rude if I just gave her my number. I said I was on FaceBook and recited my full name.

“Great, I will friend you.” Teri said.

Before I’d even gotten to Ellen’s car Teri had friended me.

“Teri just friended me on FaceBook.”

“Wonder what their story is?”

“Me too. I think her and Theresa are a couple. Maybe they just want to make new friends. Yes, that’s probably it.” 

The next day started out really tough. When I woke up at 5 my eye was still hurting but not as badly as the previous night. I remembered what Ellen said, “The eye is the quickest thing to heal on the body.” I hoped she was right or else it was going to be a long weekend. I got on the bike and rode up the street fully prepared to turn around if my eye couldn’t take it. It was fine until I got on the highway. Then, it watered and burned. I locked down my shield all the way to prevent any wind from getting into the helmet but it still watered and throbbed. By the time I pulled in to work my face was wet with tears.

That day while I was working I got a text from an unfamiliar number. It said, “Hey, it’s Teri! I’m studying all day but I’ll need a break at some point. If you are in [neighborhood between both our homes] stop by [coffee shop].”

I texted her back saying I was working that weekend in Alpharetta or else I’d certainly have coffee with her.

We texted all weekend and into the week. She’s been studying at a friend’s cabin all week for her medical boards. She asked me up there several times but I told her that she needed to study. Today she said she’d be back in town tomorrow night and if I had any plans.

“What do you have in mind?” I said.

“[bar near our houses].”

So, I have a date with the woman with the clear blue eyes tomorrow night and I will certainly tell you all about it!

mutha truck her

Along with Lee stuff I have been so frustrated with my truck. I can’t seem to get the d@mn thing to pass the required emissions test in order to get my tag. I put a new part on it a while back and then reset it to turn off the engine check light. I drove it about 200 miles and took it to get the test and it failed.

“Looks like your EVAP has to show “Ready” before it will pass.”

“Well, how long is that going to take?”

“Just drive it around 285 a coupla times and then bring it in.”

I drove it 500 miles and it still hasn’t shown “ready”. I’ve talked to three mechanics who only tell me “jus keep drivin’ it.” Great, so now I’m DRIVING around with an expired tag just waiting to get pulled over. Last night I’d just had it I parked it in the carport and took the battery cables off and left it. Somehow I hope that resets the whole thing. I’m really done with it. If this doesn’t work I’m prepared to go in to my mechanic [in my best low-cut top] and pour on the tears saying “Please fix this thing so I won’t go to jail!”

Apparently, I wasn’t clear enough with Lee over “the break”. Yesterday, I got the text of “Good luck tonight” meaning in pool. Then much later that night I got an email with a picture of us taken the last night when we did the pub crawl. In the message it said, “Good times. I miss those. I miss you.”  I mean whatever. I knew she thought it would be just like several times before where she’d let me cool off for a few days and then come back and be all sweet and then everything would go back to the way things were again. Not this time.

“Great, she won’t stop texting and emailing me.”

“I thought you broke up with her?” Naomi gf of pool coach, Mick.

“I thought so, too!”

“Well, what did you tell her?”

“I said I needed a break and that I didn’t know if it was a permanent one or not.”

Mick had come over between shots to kiss on Naomi and broke away and said, “Whoa, whoa, whoa. There’s a difference between a break and a breakup. If you said that then she still thinks you’re together.”

“But regardless, a break is a ‘leave me alone for awhile’ thing. No texting, calls, email.”

“Still not the same as a breakup.”

“Great. So, now I have to do this all over again?”

“Yeah, if you want her to leave you alone.” Naomi

“But, if I email her back then it’s going to be this big back and forth thing. I’m so over that.”

“Then, don’t reply.”

I didn’t. I went out and won my third match against someone ranked at a 5 (two levels above me since I had recently slipped  from a 4 to a 3) and she wasn’t happy afterwards. After shaking my hand she went over and got in Mick’s face. The whole match she had been giving us shit about our time outs. Since I was playing as a 3 ranking I had that many time outs per game and we were taking them. My opponent was starting to take sloppy shots and miss and Mick and I were capitalizing on it. Twice I came back three balls behind and won. The final match when both my opponent and I were both on the hill (meaning whoever won the game won the match) I came back from behind and made a very difficult shot on the 8 ball and won.

“No one is going to tell me what I can and cannot do when it comes to coaching my team.” Mick said before turning and walking over to me shaking her head.

“You know I’m right.”

“Absolutely” even if I didn’t agree this wasn’t the time to convey that. I motioned Naomi to come over. I wanted her to calm her down. Fortunately for my opponent she had retreated to her team’s corner to discuss the unfairness of our time outs and Mick’s coaching style. Whatever. I was ecstatic that I won. I was reveling in my win smoking a cigarette when Mick broke away from kissing Naomi and said,

“You remember what I told you when you first started with this team?”

“Yes, I do.”

“What was it?”

“That I’m the second best person on this team and I’m going to be great.”

“You are a 5 – you just don’t believe it yet. You need to start believing that.”  

I shrugged my shoulders and just smiled at her. I think I could believe it [more] after winning that last match. Mick has a way of making me feel like I can conquer the world – at least in pool. I felt myself blush. Fortunately, she broke the spell by pointing at me and saying “-and, you need to get your @ss to practice Wednesday nights. From now on.”

I rolled into the carport on my Triumph (expired truck tag be damned, I’ll just ride the motorcycle(s) at 1 a.m. I was beat. I called my boss and left a message on his office phone that I would be running late that morning and crawled into bed. The next day by the time I checked my email there was another message from Lee saying that she didn’t want to take a break anymore. (So glad she made that decision for both of us) She went in to all the stuff from Savannah and how she let things get to her and said “I shouldn’t have targeted you about that” and finished with wanting to get together for lunch while I was working in Alpharetta this weekend.

Oh, no no – there will be no Alpharetta for Lee this weekend. I have plans to stay at the hotel Saturday night, meet these three [hot] women who were in my last Harley class and Edith is coming, too. It’s going to be a party with no. Lee. So yeah, moving on…

Realizing that I needed to be firm this time and make it an actual “breakup” I replied:

>I’m not ready to see you nor go back to the way things were. I want a permanent break and I want to see other people. In the meantime I would really appreciate it if you respected that by no phone calls and texts. The occasional email is fine but I’m not going to rehash all this stuff that I feel that we’ve gone over and over again.
>You are welcome to come over to the house this weekend while I’m in Alpharetta to get the rest of your stuff and if you do then please leave the key in the grill. If not this weekend perhaps we can plan on the last weekend in August when I’m teaching again.
>Perhaps later on we can talk about being friends but right now I again ask that you respect my need for space.

>Lanie

So there. A little later while Sloan and I were talking in my cubicle another message from Lee came in:

I didn’t realize you wanted this much of a break to jump into dating other people but its only fair since I did say those things about “maybe I should have dated other people” etc.

The 10th hurt. Today hurts. I will just need to process it all.

I will try to get the rest of my stuff this weekend but might need to rent a truck.

I want you to be happy.

Lee

I think now she got the hint but I don’t think this is the last of the emails. I really do think the girl is clueless. Where did I say that I wanted to ‘jump’ in to dating people? I only said that I wanted to date because if I said that I simply wanted to be alone then she would see that as an opportunity to try to get back with me. Seriously, I do want to date if the opportunity presents itself. I’m sure she just thinks that I said that to get back at her in some way for saying “maybe I should have dated other people”.  And, really the 10th hurts? (would have been 8 month anniversary) Now? After all this time? How about telling me that celebrating my birthday was a huge inconvenience for you? Or being defensive and mean over the weekend with Muscle Head (that I’m still convinced that something happened and she will never tell me because then it would be admitting that I was right and that she lied) how about all those times? Yeah. And as far as getting a truck? I don’t care what you have to do. Really. It’s not my problem -not anymore.

Maybe I should just tell her that I need her to get her stuff out because Sloan is moving in.

 To be continued….