lameness part II

With Alana I’ve decided to not give out any invites to football anymore but just say, “I’ll be at [bar] watching football at [time].” If she shows, she shows -if not then too bad. I realize now that she’s only a casual football watching friend and that I can’t count on her for anything.

Also, she’s been complaining a lot about Leah being down in the dumps over her breakup with Amanda. She even went as far to say “Yeah, we were all watching football and all she did was pout on the couch and then she started crying. What a way to bring down the party.” Granted, I know what that’s like but at the same time I thought it was cruel. It made me open my eyes to the fact that maybe I didn’t want to be a part of Alana’s snotty group. I invited Leah to some of the FB events I’m going to with some other friends of mine, although, I doubt she will go because of not being confident enough to go out and meet a bunch of women she doesn’t know. But, that’s her problem not mine. All I can do is extend the invitation and then let it go. I thought it was funny the other day when Alana asked if I could meet her and Leah out to show them how to blog. I told her I was all booked up this week [and forever more] with Susan being in town.

Yeah, no time for that. Next –

Susan got in to town late Tuesday night. I had gone out to ½ price burgers while Ellen and Louise had dinner with Nancy. I guess Susan texted Nancy right as she was getting in to town and right as she was sitting down to eat with them. Ellen said later that Nancy was crushed. I thought Nancy would get over it, myself. I told Ellen that they would be screwing by the end of the week. (and, I still have money on it). Last night I was going to go out and practice pool but Susan talked me in to going out to dinner with Ellen and Louise. I really didn’t think I could sit through an entire dinner with Louise as she’s about as interesting as watching paint dry.


But, it was at this TexMex restaurant that I really like and I said Ok. Plus, I wanted to spend as much time as I could with Susan while she’s in town. Susan and I took Sadie and her dog, Nella, over to Ellen’s house thinking that they could play with Jax while we were gone. The minute we walk in the door Louise starts interrogating me about when was the last time Sadie pooped and that she doesn’t want her to mess up “her floor”. (last I checked it was Ellen’s floor but I wasn’t going to say it – I got her back by going to the fridge, helping myself to a beer, opening it and taking a long pull in front of her. Ellen let’s me drink whatever is in her fridge)

Granted, Sadie hasn’t been the norm since Louise has been around. Normally, she never goes in the house and always waits for me to get up and take her outside and then on a walk. But, last week when I dropped her off at Ellen’s to go to pool I let her stay the night. Normally Ellen stays up really late and is awake when I come to get her after pool but last week she texted me at 11:00 just when my match was starting asking if I was almost done – meaning, her and Louise were going to go to bed. I told her to just hold on to Sadie and I’d pick her up in the morning on the way to the vet. Well, that night Louise wouldn’t let Sadie sleep on the bed with her and Ellen. (Ellen normally lets her sleep with her) Since she slept on the floor then of course she peed before they got up.

Then, on Saturday Ellen offered to come over and let her out of her kennel for awhile since I was working all day. Well, when they got there Sadie had pooped in her cage. She never does that but I’m sure it was because she got all those shots the day before at the vet. So, again, out of the norm. Then, I found out later when Ellen sent Louise out to walk Sadie while she cleaned the kennel Sadie laid down and wouldn’t let Louise walk her. She’s never done that and I think she just doesn’t like Louise – like her mother.

So, back to last night when Louise was interrogating me about when Sadie last pooped and so forth Susan chimed in that Sadie had pooped twice that day since she’d been with her and Nella. I finished my beer and looked at my watch. Ellen said she’d be home by 6:30 and still wasn’t there. I wasn’t relishing [anymore interrogation] trying to make small talk with Louise and despite Susan and her growing up in the same home town and knowing the same people they were running out of things to say as well. I proposed that Susan and I go get a drink at the bar of the restaurant before they got there and that would give Louise and Ellen time “to get ready”. No joke, Louise had on white tennis shoes with white socks pulled up, cargo shorts (it’s November), a white t-shirt with a short sleeve plaid shirt. She looked like my Dad when we went boating. Susan was like “great idea”.  I also proposed that Susan and I just take the dogs – that they’d be ok in the truck while we ate. Louise was like “Are you sure? Because Sadie could poop in your truck.” I wanted to hit her at that point. Sadie has never poo’d in my truck.

We got into the truck and I said, “whew”.

“I was going to ask you about your thoughts on Louise and Ellen.”

“I have no thoughts. Goddess, I don’t know what I’m going to do if Louise moves down here and in with Ellen. It’s going to kill our friendship because I think Louise is not good for Ellen.”

“Yeah, I don’t think it’s a good match, either.”

“I just don’t get it.”

“Me neither.”

Susan had written Nancy an email that day and told me that they had a plan to meet up the next day and talk.

“Do you think you’re going to get back together?”

“I’m not sure I can because she has all these big plans for us and I’m just not ready for all that.”

As we were walking in to the bar of the restaurant her phone vibrated.

“That’s Nancy saying she’s at [favorite joint] and if I’m out and about to join her.”

“That’s weird.”

“I know. Here she doesn’t speak to me all this time and I was the one who emailed her today to ask if we could get together and bury the hatchet, have closure and now she’s just asking me to do stuff. I mean, if she wanted to see me while I was here then she should have contacted me before I got here.”

“I agree.”

By this time we were saddled up to the bar with Margarita’s.

“I mean, I’m not going to just drop my plans and run over there because she wants to see me now.”

“I wouldn’t.”

“Am I being too harsh?”

“Hell no.”

Just then Ellen and Louise walked in – Louise still hadn’t changed. They said they’d gotten a table and to join them when we were done. Susan and I both took our time closing out the tab before walking over. We sat down and Ellen had ordered chips and dip. I let the conversation go and it went to Louise and her filing for disability.

You know this is a favorite topic of mine. Not. Remember, I went through all this with my ex.

“My doctors said I have a good case.” [Me thinking: Everyone who files says that whether they do or not. Doctors love to get you to file but once you’re on disability few [specialists] will take Medicare or Medicade]

“I don’t think I will be turned down.” [Oh, you will be turned down over and over again. The minimum wait period is two years. You’ll fill out so much paperwork, write so much stuff, run around and get your doctors to fill out and write so much and it will be a challenge because of their busy schedules you’ll want to scream.]

“I’ve taken off a leave of work and I’m hoping I will know something soon.” [I’m not going to be the one to burst your bubble. Two years with a hearing at the end in front of a judge to decide. I’d try to go back to work. If you can clean Ellen’s house from top to bottom  and do yard work like you’ve been doing, you can work. And, if you think you’re going to move in with Ellen and have her take care of your @ss I’m going to do everything in my power as a friend to help her realize that it may not be a good choice for her and if that doesn’t work I’m going to Creed. Creed can do anything.]

“I don’t think I need an attorney, either.” [Then, without a lawyer pushing the case and knowing what questions to ask/answer it will take even longer.]

I had sucked down an entire margarita listening to this, biting my tongue from saying anything. It’s not my place. What’s funny is Ellen knows all this, too – she was there through every step of me helping my ex get on disability. But, like me she didn’t’ say a word.

We had finished our food and drinks when Susan had a call come in from Nancy.

“I can’t believe she’s calling me now. I mean, I never replied to the text about [joint].”

She excused herself to take the call. Ellen excused herself to go talk to this group of ladies who were knitting nearby. I was left with Louise. Great. I asked her if she was looking forward to her and Ellen’s trip home to Arkansas and let her go on. Ellen finally came back, frowning and said that the knitting group wasn’t taking new members that they were a “closed group.”

“Hmmph, know what that’s like.”

Susan came back and asked if we could go to [joint] for a little bit because when she initially turned Nancy down she started crying. “My goddess”, I thought, “A crier. Wonder if she’s drunk. It’s got to be more interesting than here.”

“Ok, let’s go.”

Susan and I with the dogs in tow went over to [joint]. When we got inside I ran in to a friend of mine and said hi. Nancy was nowhere to be found. Susan and I sat up at the bar until Nancy came in. She walked up to Susan’s stool and dramatically held out her arms.

“Gawd, it’s time to go have a smoke.” I thought and nodded to Nancy excusing myself.

Which, brings me to another thing. I know this is the longest post but I have to get it all out.

I pissed Ronnie off the other day when she kept texting me all this stuff about how amazing Kendra is and how much she loves her  and how hectic the weekend was because Kendra’s ex had kept them up all night with angry texts. And, poor, poor Kendra and what an amazing woman she is blah, blah, blah.

It was making me sick so at one point I texted back “OMG enough”

I think I’ve done well in not telling Ronnie that I think she’s lost her mind and that this woman is a user. Although, my OMG text pissed her off and she now thinks I’m being unsupportive.

What do you think? Am I being unsupportive? And, what would you do if Ellen were your best friend? And, do you think Susan and Nancy will get back together?


11 thoughts on “lameness part II

  1. Why would you be supportive of a relationship when you think your friend is going to be used? Good friends don’t support bad relationships. However, people are going to do what they are going to do. Recently I told a friend that I was glad she broke up with this guy because I had a bad feeling about him. I told her this after the fact, and now they are going out again. All I can do is hope things are different this time, and keep my opinions to myself.


  2. I do not like the sound of Louise. I think I would try to find a way to delicately tell Ellen about your concerns. That is easier said than done cause I know you don’t want to ruin the friendship. Maybe you need to just ask her how she feels about the relationship and see how if goes from there.


    • J – I just found out tonight that one of my friends saw Louise hit Sadie at a party that Ellen had a few weeks ago. No wonder that Sadie doesn’t like her and if I’d saw her do it then she would have no worries about getting disability.


  3. I am so fucking pissed. That fucking bitch. There are two forms of life on earth that can’t protect themselves, animals and children. Ellen must be informed of what happened to your dear girl. If it means the end of a friendship, so be it. Louise is a piece of shit. Sorry to use all the foul language but I am really pissed about this. Sadie looks like a very sweet girl. Louse (Louse as I will call her from now on) is lucky that Sadie did not defend herself. FUCK LOUSE! Give Sadie a hug and kiss for me.


    • I know – I was very upset when I heard about it last night. I’m going to talk to Ellen about it after LOUSE leaves. I am so hoping that they will get very sick of each other and this will be it for them. If it is it for them then I may not even mention it because she won’t be back. (keep your fingers crossed)

      Like I said before LOUSE is very lucky I didn’t see it happen. Sadie’s been having a ball this week playing with Susan’s dog and now she gets to stay with Jax since we’re house sitting for Ellen while her and LOUSE are away. So, she’s very good. Thanks for asking about her.


  4. Ok dog thing first, sometimes they act out when they are out of their routine, which would explain why she acted up when you took her to your friends. Chew toys and exercising them a lot to wear them out beforehand should help that. My curmudgeony 10-year-old husky has started doing this at my mom’s house when I drop her off when I go out of town.

    Secondly, let me direct you to these 2 advice columns about hating the best friend’s SO:

    We basically have to be supportive, otherwise we’ll alienate the friendship.


    • Thanks, Sarah but Sadie didn’t act up when I took her over there. The story is someone set a small plate of goodies on the deck for her and when she was going to smell it and possibly eat it Louise came over and smacked her on the nose and said, “Puppies need to be disciplined.” She has plenty of exercise when she goes over there because she plays with Ellen’s dog. So, her acting out wasn’t the reason she got smacked. She was only doing what dogs do when someone sets a plate of food in front of them.


  5. There is no excuse to ever hit an animal. First of all it is cruel, second of all, they forget within seven seconds (according to the trainer that I have taken my dog to) what they have done wrong, third of all it just leads to fear and aggression. Wonder if LOUSE takes it upon herself to smack other people’s children. Would not suprise me. You already know this, keep Sadie far away from that cruel woman.


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