new & old

I met someone.

It’s still too early to tell if she’s going to be just a friend or dating material. But, after our initial meeting yesterday I got a good vibe from her. Initially, she contacted me on a dating site. I normally don’t even look at that stuff but she included the web address for her business and I checked it out. I emailed her through her website and got a reply the next day. We decided to meet up early on Wednesday night. That changed to meeting last night to walk the dogs around the lake. As a fluke I texted her and asked if she was up for a quick walk. She said yes and by the time Sadie and I made it down to the lake she was pulling up with her dog. So, we walked around the lake and talked before she had to go back to her studio.

I notice that when I just let things go – try not to hold on too hard that they come back to me in two fold. [Even things I don’t want to come back.] This past weekend I had a class. Sunday’s, the second day of class is a lot more hectic than the first. We have to complete all our exercises, do the skill evaluation, the written test, write out all their completion cards and do the course wrap-up. By the end of the day I am just beat. I’m doing this on Sunday and my phone vibrated in my pocket. I looked at the screen and couldn’t believe the person calling. I hit the “Ignore” button.

Some of you who have read my blog for awhile – back when it was “Fruit on the Bottom” remember when I was unemployed and went to work for a friend of mine’s landscape company. That friend eventually fired me because she found out that I was out looking for work on days when she didn’t need me. I remember her calling me and asking me about it. I remember explaining that because I was unemployed that I had to keep the money coming in – especially, since at the time I was supporting my girlfriend and her child. I remember her yelling at me over the phone and me breaking down and just sobbing. It was probably one of the worst moments during that very difficult time.

This was the person I had been friends with for over ten years. The person who I went to her and her partner’s wedding – participated in the wedding, even. I was there for the birth of their child. I worked hard for her when I was employed with her. All this flashed through my mind when I listened to her message. Some stupid message about one of their wedding  photo’s that hung on their wall with all of us on the beach and that her daughter always pointed me out and wondered who I was. She said she missed me and that she still loved me and that she was opening up the door.

I forgave her. But, I cannot forget how she treated me at my lowest time. At a time of desperation she kicked me really hard. I had no pride, I was ashamed, then bitter. She had reduced me to a sobbing heap of humiliation in that one moment and, I might add, never apologized for it.

It’s been almost two years. Since then I started my own landscape company. I had signs up in a major mall who was one of my clients. I did rather well for being on my own. I still taught classes and then got a job with the government. I broke up with the gf I was supporting because I realized that I needed less stress in my life and when I was with her I was on the brink of a nervous breakdown. Things are a lot better now. Do I step through the door of friendship again?

No, like I said, I forgive but I never forget.

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3 thoughts on “new & old

  1. There are certain people that seem to always get away with anything but there are others who won’t. I understand not letting this person back in. Maybe we expect more from certain people, maybe the bound isn’t as strong, maybe the cut was too deep, what ever it is I understand the feeling.

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