Well, it happened and my cat is gone. I came home from work and found him. After I buried him, I walked Sadie sobbing the whole way. She kept looking back at me making these unusual sounds. She’s never really seen me cry. We walked around the lake and I sat down on a bench and cried some more. Instead of smelling the Liriope that she seems to be obsessed with she came over and laid her head in my lap and licked my hand. She was such a comfort. I don’t know what I would have done if I hadn’t gotten her. I would have felt so lonely.
I straightened up and we finished the walk. We were esconed in the bedroom watching a Glee episode when I got a text from Bird saying she was sorry about the cat (I had posted something on FB about it). She remembered him from when we went out. In fact, I had just gotten him when we started dating.
She asked if I wanted to come over and help her finish the keg from the party last weekend. I hesitated and sensing my hesitation said, “Come on – I could use an ear myself and Sadie could play with Schatzi.” Sadie seemed to look up at me at that moment. I texted back, “Oh, ok. I’ll be there in an hour.” It was a keg of 420 afterall.
Later, we sat outside keg tapped with a fire going while the dogs raced loops around us. I got a little tipsy and said I needed to go. As she walked me to the door she grabbed me and laid a huge kiss on me. All I could think was “Did she really used to kiss like this?” (Tongue down the throat and what-not) “Maybe it was just the sex that was good. Maybe we skipped the kissing part.” Regardless I pulled away. She immediately started to apologize. I put up a hand and shook my head and said, “It’s fine. We’re both tipsy. Don’t worry about it.”
I smiled as I got in the truck thinking that if I had stayed longer we would have ended up in bed. I knew I wouldn’t have minded it since it’s been so long for me but what stopped me was her. It would have tormented her if we had slept together. She’s still not over her recent breakup, still talking to her ex who wants to get back together. I knew it would cause major problems. Even though I would have just chocked it up to a roll in the hay and been fine with it I’m glad I resisted for her sake.
The next morning I couldn’t move. I woke up with a splitting headache and heartache. I rolled over and texted my boss that I was sick. She texted back “ok” and “sorry about the kitty” Later, I got up and double fisted Gatorade and coffee washing down three ibuprophens. Sadie and I watched more Glee. I found that that was the only thing my mind could concentrate on. I probably could have sat there all day in my pj’s and watched it but I made myself get up and take Sadie on a long walk and go to the farmers market to get the makings for lentil soup that I wanted to make. I love cooking when I’m depressed or need to work something out. (in that case I was depressed over the cat who I never thought I would cry so much over, didn’t cry this much over my last cat who I’d had longer and working out where that kiss from Bird came from)
When I got back from doing that, Sadie and I sat out on the back porch in the sun. Her chewing on a toy and me reading. It was a nice day out. Suddenly, she jumped up and started barking. She almost never barks unless she’s playing. I turned around and a UPS person was walking up the drive. I patted her on the head and said, “Good girl, Sadie.” Jax must have taught her to bark at strangers that come to the house. She was protecting her territory. I took the package from the distraught woman saying, “Don’t worry she’s on a leash and not going anywhere.”
The box was just large enough that I suspected that my sister actually listened to me for once and got me the crock pot I asked for. I knew she wanted me to wait until she came down next week to open it but I thought, “F-it. I’m making that soup in it.”
So, I did. She called later and said, “Did you get-
“Yes. I got it today.”
“Well don’t –“
“Too late, it’s got soup in it now.”
We actually had a laugh over that. I mean, any other time I would have waited but I was making soup that day and it was a sign and –
-sometimes you need to listen to them.