Christmas survival

I don’t care how old I am I am never going to wear a Christmas sweater.

I finally made it through the holidays with my sister. She flew in on Thursday evening and we had a rushed sprint to make the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo movie showing that night. I must say that was the highlight of the holiday. Although, I didn’t find this Lizabeth Salandar quite as hot as the one in the Swedish version but there were quite a few more scenes of her roaring around on her motorcycle in this movie. Plus, she had a hotter bike in this one not the duel sport she rode in the earlier one.

My sister and I were ensconced in this resort in North Georgia that had a restaurant, golf course (even though neither of us play) and horseback riding (again, neither of us ride horses). It was supposed to be nice and relaxing which it was but after a few days I started to go stir crazy. Thankfully, there was a sports bar downstairs and lots of football on this past weekend. Every time I said I was going downstairs to catch the game I had to hear my sister grunt about how much she loathes football. I told her then it was a good thing I had somewhere to go to watch and didn’t have subject her to it in the room and also that some people felt the same way about home decorating (which, she seemed to talk about endlessly).

By the last evening I was almost pissing down my leg in relief that the Packers and Bears were playing and I had an excuse of somewhere to go. When I opened the door of our hotel room to go I tripped over a tricycle nearly falling on a 4 year old who had been playing in the hall with her mother and grandmother (why they thought it was cool to play right outside our door is beyond me) to which they asked if they were bothering me which I replied that no, I was going to the sports bar to watch the game but thought, “They could keep bothering my sister.”

Earlier that day we were sitting in the big lobby of the lodge by the fire on our laptops and reading and people were milling about in their Christmas sweaters, drinking spiced cider and waiting for their dinner reservation in the restaurant. We had made the mistake the day before of sitting right next to the Santa by the tree and everyone who came by wanted us to take their picture sitting on his lap. I mean, even elderly men and ladies wanted their pictures taken (WTF?) as well as every little girl and boy dressed in their Christmas finest. I almost felt like I should start asking for tips or “Ok, I’ll take it if you get me a beer up at the bar – 420 in the bottle, please.”

My sister said, “I’ll give you $20 to sit on his lap.” To which I replied, “No F-ing way.” And, I did abbreviate it not because there were enough children around to fill up a Toys-R-Us easily but I was getting started early on my New Years resolution to abbreviate my curse words from now on. (It’s still too much to ask at this point that I refrain from cursing all the way – I do play pool once a week.) I relented and fell in a pile of large teddy bears in front of the tree and let her take my picture.

While I was sitting at the bar watching the game I decided to cruise FB and saw a picture of Cindy, the woman I suspected was too old for me and my suspicions came true. There she was in a picture holding a baby who could have been her grandchild (no offence to you Carla, you don’t look old enough to have a grandchild or wear a Christmas sweater) but was her cousin in a sweater one of my grandmothers could have worn. I put the phone down and thought, “Yep, she’s too old for me.” Her texts went unanswered after that. I’m doing the fade – sad, but true. Which, brings me to the things I did right last year and the things I want to do right this year.

The things I did right:

  • Broke up with Lee
  • Met a bunch of great authors and pitched my book to agents
  • Got a trainer at the gym
  • Bought my Triumph (which, after seeing that movie I’m going to put bar end mirrors on and make look really retro)
  • Went to Key West
  • Started playing on a pool league (and, we will go to Vegas this year in tournament if I have to practice every Wednesday and I will go up in ranking, too)
  • Edited the F out of my book
  • Made new friends

And, the thing I want to do this year is be choosy on who I decide to date next. I mean, I could have been out on at least a dozen dates by now but with people I could take or leave. I am resolved to hold out for someone I am as attracted to as much as I was to Teri but someone who treats me 100 x’s better. I know she’s out there and I will find her. No compromising and no regrets.

2012 bring it!


4 thoughts on “Christmas survival

  1. Merry Christmas. By the way, I think christmas sweaters are a sign of old age as well. That dates one even more is having their dog’s picture taken with santa. I did. It was so darn cute. My mother called me weird, but readily accepted the picture and displayed it! Hope 2012 is a great year for you!


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