Liquid indecision

I just cracked open a new bottled water right before I started writing this. Despite not knowing if it was really a dirty water bottle, food poisoning or just the flu I am still paranoid. I layed out of work yesterday and by 6 p.m. I could finally keep some crackers down. It’s been almost 3 days and I can still count what I’ve had to eat on one hand – mostly chicken broth. (I mean, I wanted to drop some weight but not like this)

Today, I dragged myself back to work mainly because I had blown through all my Fringe episodes and I was bored. I mean, playing hooky and going out and doing something is one thing, being sick and not feeling like doing anything is another. I might as well go in to work and sit in front of my computer and get paid for it than sit at home in front of my computer and not. (well, burn another sick day)

Lee calls me every evening (now) when she gets off work to tell me she worked late again that day. (I can almost predict what she’s going to say before she says it) Tonight, she went on to tell me she didn’t have tennis because it was raining (no sh*t). As I listened to her I wondered why it was that she irritated me so much sometimes. Maybe I was too hard on the girl. I mean, she did bring me Gatorade and called me, that’s something. But, what is it about the girl that drives me nuts.

We’re supposed to go out on a “date” on Friday. At this point, I’m not sure if I’m going to be eating solid food by then or not – it’s sketchy either way. I chose the restaurant, too. She wanted to talk about the restaurant – I had sent her the link – but, she wanted to talk about it anyway. She wanted to know if it was dressy. I said it’s casual but we can dress up if we want. Then, she wanted to know if we needed a reservation. I was thought, “Lord, girl – you’d think we were going to Bacchanalia or something.” Said that I didn’t think we needed one and if it were a problem we’d go eat somewhere else close by. Then she said,

“I wanted to talk about this thing.”

“What thing?”

“This thing between us.”

“Ok, what?”

“I don’t think we should label it right now or call it anything.”

“That’s fine.” Honestly, I don’t care. As of right now I just want to feel better and I hope I can actually eat something good on Friday.

“I just want us to hang out, have a good time and laugh. See where it goes.”

“Nothing wrong with that.” My ramen noodles had just started to boil. I took them off the heat and turned off the stove. Was because it got her off the hook in some ways or that she wanted to see if there was still something there? I wondered that myself. We hung up and I drank the broth out of the bowl. I never thought I’d eat ramen noodles again after living off of them in college.

As I was spooning out the noodles, Hannah called. Hannah and I have talked more than usual lately. She’s had a hard time the past few weeks. While she was out of town on a show someone had broken into her house and took a bunch of stuff and kind of smashed up the place. It’s really freaked her out and I think she hates being there alone now. She left a message saying she saw on FB that I had food poisoning and was calling to ask if I needed anything. I barely know Hannah and thought that was very sweet. I called her back and we chatted for awhile. She just got back from another show, everything was ok, she was tired and getting ready to go get something to eat. I couldn’t help noticing in the conversation that it was a lot more engaging than the one I had with Lee. After hanging up with Hannah I called Charlie. I’ve had so much stuff to tell her lately and soon we were cracking up over sh*t.

I know it’s good to take things slow with Lee right now – of course. I can’t help but wonder if someone like Teri just stepped right into my life or this girl (who I saw last weekend, btw) then would there be anymore Lee indecision? I think I’d be gone. Like, if someone swept me off my feet. Maybe that’s what I’m waiting for.

I guess for now let’s just hope for solid food on Friday then we’ll go from there.

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