I had just pulled into my carport from having an amazing trip with Sadie. In fact, the 5 some hour drive back in the pouring rain from a tropical storm that hit had no phase on me. I was alone in my thoughts – actually flying. I floated all the way back from where I was. Sadie had been crashed on the back seat of the truck until we drove by Avondale lake and then she stood up in the seat and looked out the window. I was jamming to this song not a care in the world.
When we drove up I saw a note sticking out of my door and my stomach dropped. Was it from my stupid neighbor complaining that it had been so quiet because I’d been gone? Was it the police [that I had checking my property twice a day while I was gone – why I pay really high property taxes] saying I’d been broken into and to call as soon as possible? Was it Lee? Oh please don’t let it be
mutha-f*cking Lee. I got out with Sadie trailing and pulled it out of the door. It was from this girl – who, I might add I haven’t heard from in 8 years. It said:
Just wanted to tell you that I am very sorry for how things ended with us. I know that the years have passed and it really may not matter to you, but I wronged you terribly and you never deserved to be treated the way you were from me. You were always kind, loving and gentle to me and I will always remember that. I hope life it great for you. I think of you often and wish you the best in life.
All I could think was “What a M-F*cking parallel. I had been thinking about marriage and for the first time in years think I can actually see that happening again and here I get a note from the woman whom I almost married. How freaking weird is that?”
I grabbed my lighter off the bench in the carport and lit the note on fire. Despite finding it in my heart to forgive her for that time I still don’t want her in my life –
– I have bigger fish to fry.
Yeah, some people think I’m all powerful, can influence people. Some think I can move mountains and they’re bitter about it. Maybe I can – with what’s in my heart right now. I am happier than I’ve ever been in my life and no one is going to change that – no ex’s coming up from the past, no ex friends saying shit about me, no one accusing me of something I haven’t done – no.one. I’m bulletproof. I’m invincible right now. And, Becky, the person who got me back with God again – I realize now that she was just the enabler to be with God again – who, btw, I’ve credited for everything that’s good right now. Thank you, God.
And, yeah – to answer your question, Becky, life is great for me. F*cking great!
More on that later.