TG vaca

Charlie and I just got back from going up to Indiana to see my family this past Saturday. We had a great time and everyone in my family seemed happy to meet her.

On the way we stayed the night in Louisville, KY with an old rugby buddy of mine and her gf. We reminisced and drank [a lot] of bourbon. Slightly hung over the next day we headed on up to stay with my cousin and his partner for a few days. This was the first time I have even been to his newly built house. [Literally, in the cornfield next to his parents, my aunt and uncle’s] Their house was huge. Other than our dogs having to be separated by their overly somewhat dominant French bulldog mix we were pretty comfortable and had a great time there. I originally thought staying for two days would be a lot but when we left I wished we were staying another.

The second day we were there my cousin, J, asked if we wanted to go out to dinner that night and we said, “Sure.” Charlie and I wanted to go running around that day in my hometown. I wanted to show her where the family farms were (two of which are deserted) and go by my mother’s gravesite.

The first farm was where my mother grew up. I have since taken her maiden name as my last name and this farm was initially supposed to be mine and my sisters to inherit. But, when our mother was in the last stages of cancer our father dragged her to some crackpot attorney and got her to sign the farm away so it would be split between the three of us. When the farm was willed to us he immediately fired the contract farmer hired to farm it, said he was going to take over the farming and that my sister and I could screw off. My sister and I never saw any kind of money from the farm until the year I was unemployed and I asked him for some farm income. I said I needed it and if he could find it in his heart to give me my portion that year I would appreciate it. He said he would and I said it would only be fair to give [sister] her portion as well. So, it’s only been three years we’ve received our portions of that farm’s profits. I will not get in to back years that he owed us nor ask to review the books because I am sure that we make well over the amount he gives us. But, that’s not a hill I want to die on right now so I’m just content that we’re getting anything.

Charlie and I pulled up at the farm and parked. The dogs were in the back but we wouldn’t let them out to roam because Dad had the old house torn down and buried on the land. We walked over to the old corn cribs and barn. I opened one of the cribs and my grandparent’s old glider was inside. I wished I had room in the truck to take it back and restore it.

“Wow! This is great!” Charlie was taking off towards the barn.

“Hon, be careful in there. There’s old holes in the floor and I’m not sure how sturdy the loft is.”

We ended up prying some old boards off a wall inside so we could take them home for her paint something for me on them. After strapping them to the roof we took off. We walked the other farm which was in much worse shape. That farmhouse was still standing only because it had asbestos shingles and my father didn’t want to pay anyone to tear it down. That farm is his outright that my grandmother willed to him. I have no affiliation with it unless I have the unfortunate luck of it being willed to me when he dies.

Once back, my cousin said that he’d invited anyone in the family who wanted to come and was that ok? I said, “Sure.” It turned out everyone in the family – both aunts and uncles, both cousins and their kids and my father and step mother were coming.

“Get ready to be overwhelmed.” I told Charlie.

We all met at the Mexican restaurant nearby and everyone got to meet Charlie. It was great seeing my younger cousin, his wife and all the kids. They had grown so much since the summer before last when I was there. My cousin’s partner, Carlos, is from Puerto Rico and I heard him speak in Spanish to the waiters. Later, a sombrero was slammed down on Charlie’s head and they started singing Happy Birthday [it’s her birthday this week] as they slung whipped cream all over her face. Carlos got off a great picture of her with whipped cream on the end of her nose and the hat on. (I will not post because I’m not sure I could handle the revenge she’d have on me for doing that) As I reached over and licked the cream off of her nose and kissed her the people at the next table froze mid-bite with eyes the size of quarters. Oops, silly me forgot that we weren’t inside the gay friendly “fruit loop” of Atlanta anymore.

“I don’t know what was funnier – her getting whipped cream all over her or the looks on those people’s faces next to us when you licked it off.” Carlos said later.

Tuesday, we reluctantly left the boys and drove up to Indy to my sisters. Her house is not quite as large as my cousin’s but it’s in the ritzy horse country of Indianapolis and sits on ten acres of a walnut grove. She’s very particular of her house and cleanliness. In fact, just shortly after arriving she had given me a few things (jars of homemade chow chow, glass bottles, a router, etc) that she said, “Ok, we’re cooking now can you take these back to your rooms?”

I noted the contrast to my cousin’s large island counter in the kitchen we had littered with beer bottles, cigars and chips. Charlie and I had taken up two of her guest rooms – one for sleeping with the dogs kennels set up and the other with just our clothes. I was a bit worried how my sister would take to Charlie but they seemed to hit it off just fine after they got in to several discussions on home improvements and especially after she helped her set the timer on the new lights she had installed along the house.

Unlike my cousin’s, the dogs got along famously with my sisters bitchy cocker. I really can’t stand the dog since one Christmas he attacked me and sent me to the hospital to get two stitches put in my lip. Fortunately, he’s old now and has lost most of his testosterone. The first night she made cheese fondue and had friends- Iko, Kevin and Sondra over. It had been years since I’d had fondue and couldn’t imagine making a whole meal out of just cheese and bread (honestly, I think I’m still stopped up from it but at least we had a salad to go with it) Fondue reminded me of “cheesy” dates in the early 90’s when people tried to act suave and take their dates to a dinner of fondue (I never did this, of course). Now it just seemed so fattening. I don’t think my sister ever got over having cheese as a main staple when she was in Switzerland.

Iko showed up with a 35 mm camera and started snapping pictures of the dogs. He was acting all Brain Duffy-ish and snapping pictures left and right of Bailey who is afraid of them and was barking and growling. Thinking it was funny he kept on. I personally wanted to slap him. I’ve known this guy for years and have always thought he was a bit odd and a little on the obnoxious side. My sister just loves him and directed every aspect of the dinner conversation towards him. Sondra showed up with two six packs of craft beer which I immediately liked. We had put our dogs up during dinner in their kennels with bones and they were perfectly quiet while sister’s dog whined and scratched at the dining room door and then later barked if he wasn’t getting scraps.

The next day we ran errands and helped make food for Thanksgiving. Late afternoon, Charlie and I had a long walk with the dogs in the park, watched boaters on the lake and the sun go down. The weather was beautiful most of the time while we were there. That night we stayed in and had chili. I told Charlie that I was ready to go home and it wasn’t even Thanksgiving yet.

Thanksgiving we went down to my father’s farm and most of my stepmother’s family was there. These are people I have no affiliation with nor will I ever. I’m polite and tolerate them. My stepmother’s oldest son lives with them and it’s not lost on me that here my father takes him in when he hasn’t done anything for my sister and I for years. It seemed everyone stood on the porch while we were there. Charlie and I drinking beer on the porch since my stepmother doesn’t allow it in the house and everyone else except for my sister and father were smoking. We all ate dinner downstairs in the basement on card tables.

“Lanie found some old letters to pa-paw Jay [my father’s father] you might be interested in. Did pa-paw have a brother named Victor?”

“No, Victor was my grandfather. He didn’t want Jay to have this farm that he gave me me after Katey and I got married.” He mentioned our mother by name and not “your mother” which, I found odd. He then went into this whole, long story about it. I glanced over at Charlie and she was listening intently while she ate.

My sister and I know very little of my father’s side of the family whenever we asked either of our grandparents, father or uncle about our great aunts/uncles they would either shake their heads or say something mean that gave you the impression no one got along in the family.  Finally, as he was wrapping up the story of land fighting I had to bite my tongue to keep from saying, “And, even today the family continues to fight over land.” Instead, “Dad, why don’t you show Charlie your scrap metal collection and the corn drying process?”

I’m not lying – he does have a huge scrap metal collection along with every possible piece of metal fabrication equipment imaginable. I went along and listened to him give Charlie the tour. We moved out of the barn that housed several tractors and into the sheds that housed more. He told her what each tractor did and details about the engines. We finally moved down to the grain bins where he explained the process of corn leaving the wagons, filling up the wet bin and being dried before moving into the regular storage bins. At this point it sounded like “Blah, blah, blah-blah-blah” in my head. I looked at my watch ready to go.

Originally, we were going to leave on Friday but I managed to get in touch with friends of the family who wanted to come by and visit. They were great friends of my grandparents on my mother’s side of the family, therefore, like family to me. They adored both of my grandparents and we always share great memories of them when we’re together. In fact, they brought with them some of the old slate shingles from the house and their iron mailbox sign that had both of their names. I felt a lump in my throat when he showed them to us. Here was a man who was no blood relation to us who thoughtfully saved something for us to have. Far be it from our own father to ever think of anything but having an axe to grind with my mother’s family and seek nothing but profit over the land.

Saturday we headed out. On the way we took a very long side trip off the beaten track to Maker’s Mark distillery for a tour. I highly recommend it but be prepared to drive down windy roads through the countryside for an hour both ways to get there because it’s literally in the middle of nowhere. On the way back to the highway we go behind an Amish horse and buggy. Sadie was looking out of the windshield at the horse and barking. It was a long drive home and we made many stops only to roll in around 11 on Saturday. But, it was nice having that family stuff out of the way the trip behind us and to be home.








looking glass(es)

“How about these?”

“No baby.”

I was trying on glasses at the eye doctor with Charlie. I picked up some retro-looking glasses that looked like Wayfarers and put them on.

“Ugh.Oh.Baaaaby! Those are awful.”

Then, she picks up some. “Put these on.”

“Oh hon, I look like I should be teaching American History in these! I need something edgier.”

“Well, baby you just need some that are going to fit your face better. Not stick out the sides and stuff.”

“No, I just need some that when I put them on you say, ‘Oh baby, those make you look sooo hot. I want to take you now’, and we’ll just keep looking ‘til we find them.”


sick of it

I’ve had to go on headphones the past couple of days at work. Don’t get me wrong – I do love my job and the people I work with but there has to be some imperfections somewhere. They are differing political views. I’m surrounded by three raging Republicans (yes, I’m the only Dem in the bunch) who have done nothing but complain about everything – healthcare, cutting the military, paying more taxes, and impending job loss for the last two days.

I can’t take it so that’s why I go on headphones. It helps keep me calm listening to Dido sing:

Touch my skin and tell me what your thinking

Take my hand and show me where we’re going

Lie down next to me, look into my eyes and tell me

Oh, tell me what you’re seeing

 Ahh, thats better.

I find it so ironic that the ones who complain the most make waaaaay more money than I do and have better insurance, in fact. What about those who can’t afford insurance? (like Charlie) What about those who make minimum wage and still have to pay the same insurance premiums of those who pull down six figures (who seem to complain the most) pay?

Huh? What about that?

Regardless, I’m sick of hearing about it all.

Charlie’s in a motorcycle class this weekend and I’m off. I’m going to go up and watch her in class this weekend. So, I’m going to be on the side of the fence she normally is. I’m ready to be on vacation for Thanksgiving even though I’m not sure how relaxing it’s going to be but I promised Charlie that I would attempt to relax and not be hectic during our visit to Indy.

This week has really dragged by. Looking forward to the weekend and just hanging out and watching Charlie rock her class!





It is the month of Thanksgiving and I need to remember/revisit all the things that I am thankful for:

Charlie – I am so happy to have her in my life! I love coming home to her everyday or seeing her pull up in her car getting home from work. I love waking up every morning next to her (but, sometimes with a dog wedged between us – like this morning) I love everything about us. Normally I dread the holidays because I typically spend them alone or am invited over to friends houses but not this year. I’m looking forward to sharing all that with her.

The dogs – I never thought I’d be a decent dog owner or when I did decide to be a dog owner I worried that I would have the worst dog ever. That it would chew everything, pee and poop on the floor all the time, destroy all my shoes and bark incessantly. Although, Sadie’s done some of that she’s pretty much a good dog (except today she tried to steal a slice of pizza out of the trash much to Charlie’s chagrin). I love having two dogs now – both Bailey and Sadie love each other so much and it seems so much easier and nicer to have two dogs than one, lonely one.

My job – The job I had before the one I have now was miserable. Yeah, I made more money and wasn’t quite so dependent on teaching and earning an extra income but my boss there was a total d*ck. He would call me every day on my company phone and yell at me about something. He was a fat, white, good-ol boy who discriminated against me because I was a female and lesbian. I also worked on a construction site where my office was in a dirty job trailer with no heat or air conditioning. I was constantly in the elements every day monitoring construction. I always came home dirty and needed a shower the minute I walked through the door. My commute was 45-1 hour one way. So yeah, I am so thankful for the job I have now and…..that old boss better hope he never runs in to me in a dark alley one day.

My health – I’m thankful that I can still run 5 miles for someone my age. (although, I haven’t ran that far for a few weeks now) and work out with a trainer twice a week without being crippled.

The house – that Charlie and I have a wonderful place to live and plenty of room.

Friends – old and new.

And…..last but not least……..

This f*cking election season being over after today so we can quit f-ing talking about it.






new year, less b.s.

I had a good weekend teaching but I’m really p*ssed at my boss over there. Charlie’s heard an earful of it the past two days. Anyway, it’s because they docked me $80 in pay because I didn’t work Friday night – which, they have never done before. It just happened and they said, “Oh, yeah – no $80 for you.” My thing is if I knew it was going to be an $80 problem then I would have made better arrangements to work on Friday. But, when I originally asked if it would be ok if I had that night off they said, “Sure.” But nothing about docking my pay.


We work out @sses off for that place. We work in the rain, when it’s cold, we pick crying people up off the pavement, we fix motorcycles, we clean up after ourselves after teaching a class and expect no extra pay when we work late or get in early. But, more and more they find ways to screw us out of money. I’m just so done with that place. In 2013 it will be ten years that I have been teaching for them and I’d really like to retire. Or tell them to stick it.

So, yeah – I’m going to think of ways to be done with them. I’ve already cut out the crazy organic gardener woman and haven’t missed it at all. In fact, it’s been such a relief not worrying about going over there every week and pulling weeds.

I want more time for the great things in life and things that I love:

  • Being with Charlie
  • Sleeping in on the weekend and having coffee with Charlie
  • Riding bikes – both motorized and pedal
  • Long walks with the dogs and Charlie
  • Camping
  • Fishing
  • Playing guitar
  • Writing
  • Watching movies (which, I almost never do)

And, many more.

So, in 2013 my goal is to have more time for the important things in life – not pulling weeds or motorcycle b.s.



Charlie has been urging me all week to go to the doctor. Talk about urges and urging – it was because I was going to the bathroom every 5 minutes.

“You have to get that checked out. “

“I know.” Running through my mind on when I could fit it into the schedule. Needed to do it before the weekend or else I’m hosed.

“It’s not going to go away on its own. It’s gonna get worse.”

Despite my girlfriend’s sometimes fatalistic view on things I knew she was right and I managed to make an appointment for the next day after work.

I try never to go to doctors. They always have bad news. I cringe through my routine checkups, pap smears and yearly mammograms but other than that I almost never go to the doctor unless I have something that won’t go away without meds which was the current UT infection I had.

“You know it can spread to your kidneys and then internal organs…..”

Gee, I’ll be dead tomorrow I’d better go.

Despite not liking to go to the doctor I do like my doctor. She’s a very gentle Indian woman. In fact, the whole office is run by women. I walked in and was immediately told to get on the scales. This is the part I hate worse than having my legs spread for a speculum. I knew it wasn’t going to be good and it wasn’t. Charlie later said it was “being happy weight” whereas I viewed it more as the freshman 15.

I was shown into a room and my blood pressure taken – I always rock the blood pressure, at least. Then, I had to go pee in a cup and sit there while they ran it. Afterwards, the doctor came in and said, “Yes, it’s a bacterial infection (exactly what Charlie said), you will need antibiotics, take two a day. Any questions?”

“Nope. Think that’s it.”

“Anything else you want to discuss?”

She was looking at me then wondering if I would ask her something – probably if I could still have sex – but, I didn’t. I said, “Nope.” and hopped off the table. She said she’d call my prescription in and that it should be ready in forty minutes.

I left and headed to the grocery pharmacy. I decided to pick up stuff to make salads for dinner. I needed to drop back to salads. Plus, since I was off the beer and cokes for awhile I needed to pick up some juice. I felt grumpy – especially, when I accidentally walked down the beer aisle. But then I felt a bit ill and realized that it didn’t sound good anyway. I grabbed veggies, flowers and a card for Charlie. I went up to the pharmacy and asked if they had gotten a prescription for [last name]. A younger man behind the counter asked for the full name and I spelled it out. (I don’t know what it is about people in the south who have difficulties spelling and pronouncing my name. Maybe people in general just have a hard time spelling – I mean, my name could be SUE and they’d ask me how to spell it.)

“Oh, it just got faxed in. Can you give me about 15 minutes?”


I went to the checkout counter. Thought maybe I’d check out, load the groceries in the car and come back in. There was an older gentleman in front of me and the woman ringing him up was saying, “Oh, so we’re having pizza tonight?” eyeing his frozen pizza. I thought it was really audacious of her. Not to mention the man was about 20 years her senior and then I thought, Eww! and, of course he had problems figuring out the debit card thing in the machine. Like these things haven’t been around forever but I consoled myself – at least he didn’t write a check. The lady had to walk him through the whole thing. Probably he was waiting to give her an invitation to come over and have pizza with him – serves her right. Wait, maybe she wanted to be asked over….. Eww!

Finally, when it’s my turn I hear a page from the pharmacy “Paging the person here for [my name] please report to the pharmacy.” So, the guy thought I was picking up something for my boyfriend or husband. Since I was about ready to get rang up I thought, Well, he’ll have to wait until I’m done.

The lady starting scanning my stuff but no mention of “Oh, so we’re having a healthy meal tonight.”  In fact, barely a “Hey, how you doing today?”

I grabbed my bags and flowers and headed back over to the pharmacy. The guy came around the counter and said, “I need Mr. [my name]’s insurance information.”

This was a joke because not only was I picking up antibiotics but I was also picking up something for a yeast infection that I always get when I take those things. I almost laughed. I reached into my wallet and pulled the card out and handed it to him. Let him figure it out. He took it with him back behind the counter saying it would be just another minute.

I sighed and waited there. He waited on three more people. The flowers were laying on the counter beside people signing on the card reader that they received the medication. I was hungry. There was cake sitting there on sale. I wanted it. That guy had on some ray ban prescription glasses that made him look smart even though he didn’t act it. I wished that I could get away with wearing something like that. I needed to pee. I was hungry. I wanted to go home and put on my pajama’s and lay in front of the space heater and eat. He finally came back and scanned my prescriptions then asked me to sign. I wondered if he’d figured out that I was Mr. my name.

“I just have to get your receipt and you’re good to go.”

He went back around the counter and an older woman who was working with him said, “Did you scan that in?”


“Never do that. Sigh. It’s too late now. Don’t do that in the future.”

I was enjoying listening to him getting reprimanded for his f*ck up. He needed to keep those glasses on.



just been busy

I know I haven’t been keeping up very well lately with writing. Charlie asked me why I don’t write as much as I used to.

“It’s because I’m too busy living my life with you.”

“That’s a good answer. I like that.”

I think when you’re happy in a relationship that there’s less drama to write about as well. I can’t tell you how many blog posts I burned out over Lee drama, too. Who, I might add (I hope I’m not knocking on wood here) has left me alone for awhile now. I think she knows I’m with Charlie and knows to stay away.

Plus, Charlie and I have had busy schedules lately. Not only with me working but we also had a dirt bike class together, had her folks in town visiting, gone out with Bird and her gf and met Alana several times for beers at our favorite joint. I know some people who haven’t seen much of us think we’ve gone in to honeymoon hiding but that’s not really true. We just haven’t seen them. But, what if we did?

I know that we make some people ill with our mushy posts to each other on FB but I don’t care they can just unfriend me or stop subscribing to my posts. I realize it’s hard for some to be happy for us – whether it’s because they’re in a bad place or not in love but it’s really their thing not mine.

I’m just keeping on with keeping on and things are great right now!