Teeter-totter, balance

I think when there are many great things happening in your life that you sometimes have at least one equally lame thing going on – like a teeter-totter that is balanced in the middle. Of course many of you can guess the really great things going on is Charlie n me. We frequently sometimes probably sicken our friends on FB with our messages and songs of love to each other.

I honestly think some of our friends have retaliated a bit over it, too. That’s lesbians for you. They can often sometimes be madly in love or raging b*tches -from one extreme to the other. Charlie has been hearing a bit from her ex who is the later of the extremes I mentioned above. Right after her and Charlie broke up and she moved up here she got an email from her saying she just wanted closure.

I love the closure emails – they are often end up to be some lame excuse to contact the other. A therapist once told me that if I wanted to write an evil letter to my ex then do so. Write several if I wanted but throw them in a drawer, don’t mail them or actually give them to the ex.

Months went by and Charlie didn’t hear from the ex again until she recently went up to see friends of ours. These friends are mutual friends of Charlie’s and the ex’s but have become my friends as well after Charlie moved up here and they came to several of our parties and even one of theirs. I will call them Camie and Gina. Well, they had this party early December and wanted us to come up.

It was kind of the last real party they were having before Camie started treatment (I won’t say but yes it’s kind of serious) and Gina had shoulder surgery. I couldn’t go that weekend because I had to work but Charlie went up without me and spent the night. Well, just like our New Years Eve party – hardly anyone showed up. In their case only Charlie showed up. The girls still had a good time and once Charlie was back in town she said she was glad she went. Well, right after that she received a very nasty letter from the ex. This one was another closure letter.

“How many f*cking closure letters do you have to get?”, I railed.

I had read the letter and it made my claws come out. She started out comparing their breakup to the tragedy in Connecticut and at one point in the letter she wrote “I despise you.”

Apparently, Camie and Gina got a nasty letter from her, too. Gina called her and told her she was basically really lame and how dare she send something like that what with all they were going through. She apologized to them but if I were them I’d be like “go F-youself take a hike – a very long hike – to another continent, even. “

I showed Charlie how to block her email address so any emails from her go into limbo. Then, a few weeks later she calls Charlie and leaves some message that a mutual friend of theirs in Florida was sick and probably going to die. After the message she followed up with a few texts giving her information on how to contact the family (which Charlie didn’t answer the texts but she did contact the family – but the info could have certainly came from another source other than the ex)

Next, we find out that she has said that she’s coming to visit Camie and Gina the end of May and oh, she’s going to stay will Ellen, too.

“We’re so going to be out of town that weekend.”

“Camper or no camper – we’re out.”

Right now, I don’t want to make a big deal out of it. I honestly think that by the end of May she will have pissed Camie and Gina off so much that they will say stay the hell away. That leaves Ellen who I’m sure only said yes because she’s a nice person like that and cannot say no. Do I think it’s weird that a friend of Charlie’s that she’s had for many years said yes to letting an ex of hers stay with her?

Yes, I do.

That would be like Lee (my ex) calling her up to ask her if she could come stay with her. I feel like it’s exactly the same situation and why the hell would anyone want that crazy girl to come stay with them?

Anyway, like I told Charlie – the less a big of deal we make out of this the better. I feel the ex wants some kind of reaction from Charlie, some kind of attention. Let’s wait until May to see if it does come to fruition and if so it doesn’t matter anyway because we will be out of town.

I mean, am I taking this too lightly? Should I be worried? (is anyone out there?)



5 thoughts on “Teeter-totter, balance

  1. I think you are taking the right approach. The ex is looking for a reaction so not making a big deal will send the message that you have moved on.


  2. <> I would put a little different slant on Ellen – does she fear confrontation? She may have agreed because her ultimate goal is to have no one get mad at her. People like that tend to accomodate the craziest person, because they have the instinct that the sane person they are hurting won’t attack them, but the crazy person will.


  3. I agree with you that it is a bit on the weird side. But I also agree I think you are taking the right approach to things. She’s looking for a big reaction so don’t give her one…unless her actions warrant one. Eventually she will run out of steam with it all and will move on, it’s just increadibly irritating until she does.


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