means   that the world is in the eye of the beholder; it all depends on how you look   at things; all people look at things from a different perspective and have   differing opinions or views about someone, something, etc.
Everything is quantifiable in terms of individual perception.
To   him, the new house is beautiful and grandiose in appearance; to me, it’s ugly   and pretentious. It’s all relative, then, isn’t it?
You think you’re poor? Then take a look at the skid row bums living in the   sewers downtown. Everything is relative.

Charlie and I are going out with some friends tonight to see a show. They so happen to be my ex Bird and her friends who we have done things with from time to time. (Not sure if Bird’s gf is going as she’s a busy doctor) We got begged asked to go last week but then we thought Charlie had her final exam for school the next day. When we found out she didn’t then we decided to go. Simple as that, right? You would think. But –

-some people don’t see it that way. They always expect for you to chase them down to do things. I mean, it doesn’t hurt to ask but this comes in categories. For example:

“Hey, a bunch of us are going to a show; to the lake; to a bar; to a beer tasting; come join us.”

Or the more personal invitation:

“Hey, do you want to go have a drink [insert place here] and possibly play some pool; eat dinner?”

It seems so simple, right? To me it does, anyway. BUT – like above, it’s all relative on how you perceive it.

I used to have this friend, a good friend. One I’d been friends with for years. We used to party together almost every Saturday night. In fact, there were two others that partied with us. For anyone who has been a long time reader you will know that I’m referring to the Toads. This friend – one of the toads – and I would get together and run, workout, ride bikes and then go for some beers. Every week we usually had plans to hang out. Since she lived right across the street from Piedmont park we’d frequently go work out there and have drinks/dinner at a place nearby. This sounds all cool and fun, right? Well, it was until it became every time we hung out I always had to come to her. I had to drive down there from Decatur and find parking (which, isn’t easy in that part of town). I often times even brought the beer. After awhile, I started asking her to come out to Decatur. She did a few times but only after spending about 30 minutes on the phone with her giving her directions (this was pre-iPhone and TomTom. But, honestly, it’s such an easy drive from Midtown) eventually, the fun wore off because I was tired of always having to come to her and I always was the one calling her to ask to do things (other than driving down there). I finally became worn down by it all and dropped the friendship. (To this day she has never called me – guess the friendship wasn’t really that important to her, which, still shocks and amazes me given how long we had been friends and that we share the same tattoo what all we’d been through together)

So, what I’m trying to say in all this is that when plans are made both parties have to agree on the funness. Right?

I don’t think it’s really fair to say, “Hey, I’m going to be a my doctor’s appointment on your side of town why don’t you come hang with me in the waiting room?”

That doesn’t seem fun now does it?

How about this? “Hey, I have soccer practice on Saturday. Why don’t you come down and watch me?”

Do you see where I’m going with this? I’m always just amazed at how complicated people make plans or just hanging out. It all comes down to this:

If someone wants to do something then mutha-F-ing ask me because I’m not going to chase then down.

If I have to ask someone several times to do something and always get excuses then I’m just going to STOP.

And, if someone keeps asking me to do the same thing over and over again that THEY decided was fun [not me]. Then, I’m probably not going to do it.

The thing I want to stress here is that everyone has busy lives. They have to balance work, time with their families, paying bills, running errands, etc. everyone has a schedule. It’s not just things being done on their time and what works for them.

End of story. BUT –

-it’s all relative.


One thought on “relative

  1. Very true. Just the other night a friend of mine was hinting that he wanted to go out for dinner with me, and I didn’t ask. If he wanted to go out, then ask me, I have food in my fridge, I don’t need to be spending money at a restaurant. Then he got mad that I didn’t ask him and said that I’m supposed to be a good friend and ask if he wants to go get some chow. WTF?


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