One of my most loathed holidays is coming up – mother’s day (although, if the dogs go buy me a growler for Mother’s day then maybe it won’t be so bad).
I hate how every commercial on the radio harps on mother’s day. See my mother has been passed since ’99. My father remarried almost a year to date after she died. While I don’t despise my STEP mother I don’t really think of her as my mother, as my REAL mother. I just think of her as a fill-in to take care of my father. Who’s a tyrant doesn’t deserve her. (I often feel sorry for her but it was her stupid decision to marry him)
One of the first mother’s days that occurred after she died I didn’t send my step mother a card. She got all upset about it.
Too bad, I thought. You’re not my mother don’t expect me to acknowledge this holiday.
Years later I have come to grips with it. In fact, Charlie mailed out the card I got for her. (Thank you, baby!) I can count on one hand how many years I’ve mailed her a mother’s day card. When I call home (because no one from there will think to call me) I always call her cell phone because I know she will be the one who will answer. I only want to talk to her because I can’t stand listening to my father go on and on about these three topics:
1. The last time he had to pass a kidney stone (which, seems to occur every three months)
2. Fixing the combine (he’s a farmer) or depending on what time of year it is –
3. Fixing the planter, disk, cultivator, some junk tractor, etc.
My grandmother before she died had dementia. At least she asked questions and let you talk. (I made it interesting and changed the answers each time) but my father just talks on and on. I can lay the phone down and go do a load of laundry and he will keep talking. And, he’s the reason I wish they made Father’s day cards with a sarcastic slant. Like “You were a crappy father and thank you for staying out of my life” or “Live each day as if it were your last day of freedom because I will put you in a nursing home.”
Gosh, I could think of a million of them. But, this post is about Mother’s day. I could say something like “Hug your mother hard because at least you’ve got one.” But, maybe some people out there feel the same way about their mother as I do about my father. Maybe I will say this: “If you got ‘em and love ‘em then celebrate.” If not – then go have a drink.