yeah so –

– we got the hot tub in place but it took 8 of us and one cut head rushed to the urgent care later.

Charlie and I got there on Saturday around 10:00. Ellen had made monkey bread for everyone (Charlie noticed that she starts on time when [a group of] people are supposed to come and help versus just her showing up and Ellen still in her pajamas and drinking coffee) We all stood around eating the cinnamon bread and procrastinating. Finally, we went out. The hot tub was standing on end and the top of it was almost half way up Ellen’s elevated deck – that was how big it was. The thing was MASSIVE! I couldn’t believe it. (I think it’s an 8-15 person tub?? – lol) I took one look at it and knew we were in trouble. Yeah, there was 8 of us but some of us looked 100 years old. (not me and Charlie, of course -but others)

Old lesbians arn’t meant to move hot tubs, I thought, we’re all gonna die!

Three of us were on one side to PUSH it down on the other five of us. Yeah, so five of us were almost trapped under the thing. They tipped it and as the weight came down I was like “Holy f*ck!”

Charlie was like, “No one let go.”

“Yeah, because we’re all dead if anyone does”

“Get it down to a certain point and when I count to three step back and drop it.”

So, just at the point of all of our backs going out I counted to three and we stepped back and dropped it. Except for Ellen – she fell back with a thunk because her head happened to get in the way of it. Yeah, so she had a nasty gash. Three of the women ran upstairs with her who kept saying, “I’m fine, I’m fine.” as blood was gushing down the side of her head.

“Yeah right you’re fine – go!”

The rest of us grunted and pushed and moved the tub into place. The whole time the stupid rooster was crowing.

What ambiance!, I thought.

Later, we went upstairs to check out Ellen and Louise was just padding hydrogen peroxide on Ellen’s head.

“Oh for Key-rist-sakes pour it on her head!” Charlie

“When’s the last time you had a tetanus?” random 100 year old lesbian

“Uh, I don’t know.” Ellen who may have a concussion at this point.

“I’m texting Cindy to see where the urgent care place is. Hold on. Go down Clermont…..” [young] Lanie

They ended up gluing her head and giving her a tetanus shot. The free hot tub is adding up.

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