I’m dreaming of a white [lie] Christmas

We sometimes tell little white lies around the holidays to make things more bearable. I was talking to my sister on the phone on the way in to work this morning. She had called the previous evening as Charlie and I were on our way to our favorite hole-in-the-wall Mexican place.

“Answer it.”

“No, I don’t want to.”


“Because she will have me sitting in the parking lot of the restaurant for ten minutes blathering on about the persimmon pudding she just made.”

I already knew why she was calling – she had emailed me about making pudding with her ex husband (they’re still friends so this is not unusual) and how it came out awful. Like our father, my sister likes to tell stories over and over again – I think they both have dementia.

“I’ll talk to her tomorrow.”

Safe times to call are when I know she doesn’t have long to talk like in the mornings when I know she has to get ready for work soon or when she’s on her way home from work. These are safe times. This morning I called and heard the story I knew I was going to hear. When I asked what she was doing for TG she said she lied to our step mother and said she was going to Nashville with ex husband. Our step mother was having her side of the family over for TG and invited her. I could understand. I would lie, too. Our step mother’s family and my sister and I – it’s like mixing the Honey Boo Boo’s and her family with  The Housewife of Indiana (my sister) and the gay version Dylan from Charlie’s Angels (me – well, I don’t look that good but you catch my drift).

“Yeah….it’s weird.” I said.

My sister went on to say that she had booked her gallstone removal surgery for the Thursday before Christmas but, again, lied to our step mother saying it was Friday instead because the [Former last name] Family Christmas was on Saturday.

“Oh, the [former last name] family Christmas is on Saturday. I will call Peg and tell her to move it so you can go.”  Stepmother to sister.

“No, no. It’s ok. I’ll just have to miss it this year.” Sister to stepmother.

“Don’t blow my secrets now.” Sister to me.

Fortunately, I had no reason to lie to my sister – now that we weren’t going camping. But, we were keeping to that story for other people. So, I wasn’t lying to sister but to others. That’s when I thought – we all lie when it comes to family and especially around the holidays. We lie to get out of doing things we don’t want to do.

We lie about where we got pie we brought, “Oh, that’s a recipe from Williams and Sonoma.”

When really it was bought at Kroger.

The little white lies sprinkle down like snowflakes. What do you lie to your family and/or friends about around the holidays? Or what will you lie about?  While you think on that I have provided a video for your listening enjoyment:

And, how appropriate that the video takes place in some old barn that looks vaguely like the [former last name] family barn.




One thought on “I’m dreaming of a white [lie] Christmas

  1. I’m lucky enough to live nearly 3,000 miles from my relatives. One of the reasons I moved so far away is because I’m no good at lies, white or otherwise. I’ve had total strangers ask me, “Does this make my hips look wide?” in the fitting room at Macy’s. And more than once, my answer has been a big fat “YES.”

    Ah well. *shrug*

    One thing that’s not really a lie but that I get away with often is telling people I’m not available. They assume it’s because I’m working (I am sort of an independent contractor and I don’t have any kind of a set schedule), and I never bother to explain otherwise. So the “Would you like to have dinner with my 12 screaming children and my husband’s cousin Fred’s crew of 6?” invitation can generally be answered with a serene smile and a simple, “Thanks for asking, but I’m not available.”

    Not sure if that counts, but there it is. 🙂


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