hatchets (lions), axes (tigers) & papers (bears) – OH NO!

K and I taught a class together last weekend. He talked me into teaching it with him as the person who was supposed to work with him had accidentally been double booked. I really didn’t want it but fortunately, I was able to give my class with Dick next weekend to Jane. This is what we call the disastrous couple.

Here’s a couple who has been on and off for three years. Dick is still married and Jane constantly threatens to dump him if he doesn’t have papers in hand. The two of them are motorcycle instructors and teach where K and I teach. Each fine to work with on an individual basis but when they’re together they’re a big pain in the @ss. It’s either they’re panting all over each other or Jane’s crying over Dick leaving her and that he’d better have papers in hand before she’ll see him again.

Whatever, and I thought only lesbians had this kind of drama but I’ve realized that drama is not gender specific, it’s straight, gay, married, divorced, young, old and –
-stupid.

Both K and I have heard from both sides and we agreed this past weekend that we’re worn out on the Dick and Jane drama. I don’t want to know because the last time I got involved with other people’s relationships this happened.

Speaking of which, Charlie and I were out at our favorite joint on Saturday and I ran right into Nancy coming out of the bathroom. She took me by surprise slapping both my arms very roughly (she was drunk) and shouting, “Lanie Belluz so great to see you!!!” very sarcastically. I just stood there and her friends dragged her off someone said, “Come on.”

It was obvious she was looking for a fight. I went back to the bar and slid onto the barstool and said, “Nancy slapped me coming out of the bathroom”

“WHAT? WHERE IS SHE?”

It was a good thing she left because I think my woman would have torn her limbs off and fed them to her. The whole thing is just stupid. Nancy has always had an axe hatchet to grind because I called her out to Creed. (When Creed was seeing her I told her that Nancy and I needed to bury the hatchet if she was going to be seeing one of my best friends and Nancy took the phrase “bury the hatchet” as me wanting to attack her with a hatchet.)

 “You’re never going to the bathroom by yourself here again!”

“Mmm, if you say so.”, Taking a drink of my Blue Tarp Toasted Lager.

Although, I couldn’t help but text Creed saying that I’d ran into her stupid ex gf who was drunk and wanted to get into a fight. Hey, I should be the one who thinks Nancy’s coming after me with a hatchet not the other way around. I defend my friend’s honor and for what? (Creed you’d better be reading this – remember the dates Oct 18 & 19 you owe me for being threatened with a hatchet every time I go to my favorite joint)

Goddess, Charlie and I are running out of cool joints to hang out in. Guess we’re going back to the Imperial, Charlie. Don’t forget your sunglasses.

Speaking of October 18 & 19th – this is the weekend Charlie and I decided to have our reception at the house. We’ve having family and friends and throwing a big party. We decided to elope to New York in September to tie the knot and take a mini vaca. I want to stay near West Village. Even though I’ve been to New York in the past I’ve never been to this particular neighborhood. Charlie and I both want authentic New York pizza so if anyone has any suggestions of places in the vicinity I would appreciate it.

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