blissfully uneventful

It’s only 9:00 a.m. and I’ve already blown through a pack of Kleenex. It’s going to be one of those days. I managed to get a head cold over the weekend. What started out to be a little sniffling and drippy eyes turned into full blown ear ringing head congestion. I hate these things. My netty pot doesn’t seem to make even a dent, either.

Charlie and I had a busy weekend. Saturday, we ran errands and worked around the house and got ready for the new washer and dryer to be delivered. I dreaded it as we had to remove a countertop prior to delivery and installation but it wasn’t too bad. (Even the part where Charlie had to stand on it to put it back in)

Sunday, I hung out most of the day while she worked. I did take her lunch at one point while she was assisting the vet in surgeries.

“Do you want to come see what a spay looks like?”

“No, I don’t think I’ll feel like my pastami sandwich after I see that.”

There were two tiny puppies in a box. They had been found but the mother hadn’t. One was brown and the other black. It reminded me of Bailey and Sadie as puppies. The other tech brought in two boxes with a cat in each. One was growling and trying to get out. They were next in line for the spay/neuter. Later, that night we hung out on the porch. The weather was so nice we didn’t want to leave. We were supposed to go over to Ellen’s but I begged off sickness. Plus, every time we go over there for dinner it’s not until 8:00 at night.

Work has been really busy and that’s great for me – I’d rather be busy. Friday, Charlie came into town and met me and a few co-workers for drinks. We had a really good time! Last week I was headed to a meeting and happened to check the meeting agenda and noticed that my ex was listed as an attendee. I was a bit alarmed as I couldn’t even imagine sitting there the whole meeting with her glaring daggers at me. The only reason I was even going to this meeting was to talk to the engineer about a signal location on one of my projects (which, wasn’t any of the projects they were discussing in the meeting). I managed to breeze in with my consultant in tow, have a sidebar meeting with the engineer before the regular meeting started and get back on the elevator all without even seeing her. I walked out the door onto Peachtree Street and gave a sigh of relief. It was such a nice day that I decided to walk the rest of the way back to my office (which was about 10 blocks away). I got lucky this time but I’m not holding my breath that it won’t happen again. Being in the same industry it’s close to a miracle that I haven’t bumped into her, which would be interesting because I have an entirely different name than I did when we were together. I had visions of:

Shaking hands, “Nice to meet you, Lanie, although you look so familiar.”

I bet because I’m your ex, b*tch, “Oh, well I hear that from a lot of people. I’ve never met you before in my life.”

“You look a lot like [old name] who is an ex.”

“Oh, well I’ll take that as a compliment. Would you excuse me my fiancé’ is calling me from her ultimate fight practice. She wants me to go pick up her uniform from the dry cleaners because her gold medal round is this weekend.”

Other than that my life has been blissfully uneventful.


happy easter


Cheers to your Easter! This was me yesterday after finishing the Sweetwater 420 race in Centennial Park. Yes, a beer at 10 a.m. in the morning after running a 5k is kind of a trip. (I’d felt like I had partaked in something else the rest of the day as I was very mellow) This was the first race I’ve done since last year’s Peachtree race the 4th of July. Despite it being flat it was a little difficult. I wasn’t really happy with my 34:10 time, either. But, all I can do is go up, right? I placed 28th out of 70 in my age division. (I’m not sure I’m really happy about that, either – what does that mean everyone else in my age division is crippled and old?)

Poor Charlie shivered out in the rain and cold watching me run. After parking and walking up to the start some guy was pulling out of this parking place really fast and nearly ran us both over. I screamed at him “HOLD ON! DON’T YOU F-ING LOOK?” I swear if he had run my fiance’ over I would have dragged him out of the car. So, I was a bit pumped up already before the race started.

Afterwards, we ran home and then over to meet a guy who was going to buy the bike racks that we took off the camper. We met him and then did the dreaded Sears run. We had to buy a new washer and dryer (especially, since I just bought new bras) that day as there’s really not a whole lot of time in my and Charlie’s schedules to do stuff like this together. Because of both our work schedules we only have Saturdays off – that is, when I’m not teaching. So, we got the washer/dryer – nothing too fancy – the standard Kenmore replacements but warranties on both. I was happy with the purchase.

We finished up the day having drinks and dinner at Square Pub – where we found out favorite server, Scott, working. He used to work in the mexican hole-in-the-wall we used to frequent (and, Ashley wouldn’t tell us where he went because she didn’t know. Scott verified because he said he had told her to F-off and walked out and quit one day – restaurant drama).

Today, I have the day off and I have no idea what to do with myself – except the dogs are looking at me like a nice walk would be nice.


new joints

Wow, two posts in one day [feeling forehead, no I’m not running a fever]. I think Charlie and I need to find new joints to go to. The other day we were cruising around with the dogs trying to find a place to sit outside to eat and drink with the dogs. Several restaurants around Atlanta forbid dogs on their patios, however, some do. (It doesn’t really make sense, either, one could forbid but two doors down they allow them.) The ones who do are few and far between – and, across town. There was one place that just opened we stopped to try and was informed by one of the waiters that a server had been bitten by a dog, therefore, they weren’t allowed anymore on the patio. Granted, a fair excuse but they shouldn’t penalize all dogs.We went on to the hole-in-the-wall Mexican place we used to frequent. The place they allow dogs is outside the fence – practically in the parking lot with the late afternoon sun burning down on you like you’re in the Sahara dessert. I don’t care if it’s 40 degrees outside if you sit there you’ll be blinded and wish you were sitting by a pool.

We finally walked over to UJoint and as we were searching around for a table my eyes landed on Lee. I didn’t see who she was sitting with – for all I know she could have been there with Nancy all I noticed was that she had really long hair that was partially grey (I almost didn’t recognize her and I’m suprised she didn’t notice Sadie) I spun on my heel so fast that I almost tripped off the patio and fell on Charlie standing there with the dogs. Her eyes got big and she said, “What?”

I just pointed and mouthed we have to go shaking my head back and forth. As we headed to the car she asked, “Who was in there?” and I told her Lee. Then she almost spun on her heel and went back in to see who she was.

“Go ahead, she won’t know who you are.”

“No, that’s ok. I just can’t believe she was there. But, why don’t you want to go in?”

“Because I don’t want to talk to her and even if she did get up and come over and talk it would be something like, ‘Hey, good to see you we should have a drink sometime.”

“And, I would be forced to tell the truth in saying, ‘No we shouldn’t have a drink sometime, crazy, now leave me alone. Or I would just ignore her hoping she wouldn’t come over and that would make her angry and I’d get some nasty text from her like, ‘I saw you and you didn’t even say hi…’ and then the endless texts would start up and I’d have to finally change my phone number.”

“Oh, well do you want to go to Twains? I think they allow dogs.”

I hooked her arm and said, “That’s a wonderful idea, dear.”

But even so – the last two times we went to UJ hasn’t been good. We really need to find new joints.

a better place

Last weekend I taught a class with K. While he was inside b.s.-ing with one of the other instructors Rich and I were pulling out bikes.

“I have burnout syndrome.”

“Me too, this is my ninth weekend teaching in a row.”

“Dude, I don’t see how you do it. The most I’ve done is 4 in a row and even then I wanted to commit myself to a mental institution afterwards.”

I’ve made a conscious decision to quit one of my motorcycle gigs after I teach my last class for them in May. (Even then I don’t want to work it but I don’t want to leave them in a lurch.) I’ll still work the place in Alpharetta but quit the place in south DeKalb. I just don’t enjoy it as much as I used to. I want to spend more time with my family, ride more, camp more, do races.

I have my first race of the season this weekend. I like this race because they give out a drink ticket to one of my favorite beers after the race. Hopefully, the weather will be good and Charlie and I will get to enjoy the outdoors. I hope to really start running and biking more. I have yet to drag my lazy @ss out of bed in the mornings to ride to the train station but at least I bought a reflective vest to wear. My excuse this morning was that the weather was going to go south around ten.

Work is going well. The projects trickle in weekly and finally the rest of us newbies are here so we can all start our training. I like it so much better than my old job. It’s such a relief to be out of there honestly. My [former] immediate still emails me complaining about Noel and VP. Yesterday, when she did this I replied with a link to another job. I found out two more people left there and went to other agencies and they’re interviewing for my old position today. Immediate emailed me the resumes of all they’re interviewing and after taking a look at them I fired back, “You can cross out all the women.”

Later, when I told Charlie this she said, “Not necessarily he may want some woman he can boss around.”

“Or some hot woman he can flirt with.”

It’s a mixed bag but I’d give anything to be a fly on the wall of that conference room. Honestly, I shouldn’t care but I do. I feel sorry for the poor sap that gets in there but maybe it will just be a stepping stone for something better. One lady hasn’t been employed since ’09. I felt sorry for her thinking she’s been searching for a job that long. It made me think about having a business teaching people how to find a job. Not like an employment agency and not like a career coach, either. When I was unemployed or even looking for a job the last thing I wanted to hear was, “What color is your parachute?”

“It’s fuchsia, b*tch, now get out of my way I need to go on Indeed dot com.”

What I’m thinking about is resume writing, how to properly fill out an application, interviewing technics especially in front of an audience, delivery and polish – those types of things. When I was unemployed I went to a career coach and we did cover the things I mentioned above – in fact, it changed my whole way of thinking on how to interview. It was the best money I ever spent. Although, there are some things I’d change about it if it were me. From my own experience I would tailor it to the type of job the candidate was going for. Applying and interviewing for government jobs is a whole different animal than the private sector. This is just some of my thoughts and even though I’m not actively looking now that I found a new job I haven’t quit looking for my friends. In fact, I look all the time. You might think that this has become a hobby of mine or maybe I just want to help people get to a better place.

little cry

Do you ever have one of those days where you just feel fat and ugly? (I’ve had a lot of those lately) I was having one of those days yesterday and decided to go out and take a walk in the sunshine at lunch yesterday. I love walking at lunch. I walked up to 10th street, turned around and walked back and ducked into Office Depot. Sometimes I have an obsession for nice pens.

When I walked in, I was immediately greeted by the dude with the Don King hair. (What you get when you cross Viagra with Rogaine – haha) The Don King decided to follow me and ask if there was anything specific I was looking for.

“No, just browsing, thanks.”

I ducked into the computer isle. Let’s face it – anyone buying a computer at Office Depot is either desperate or doesn’t know any better because their selection is DOG. Just then I had another woman accost me ask if she could help me with anything.

“No, just browsing, thanks.”

Then, I had to listen to the whole speal of “If there’s anything I can help you with…..”

Blah, blah, blah lady just leave me the f*ck alone, I thought.

I went over to the phone accessories because I remembered seeing a phone charger that you just lay your phone on and I wanted to see if they had them. It was while I was looking when yet another woman came up and said, “Sir is there anything I can help you with?”

Sir. Are you F*cking kidding me?

I turned and said, “ No thank you.”

The woman was mortified and went into the whole thing of “Oh, I’m so sorry….”

Blah, blah, blah lady just leave me the F*ck alone.

I finally ran out of there with a box of my favorite pens (to comfort myself) and a new daytimer (which, only realizing later it doesn’t even start until JULY. Who the f*ck would design a calendar to start in JULY for KEY-RIST-SAKES!?). I walked back to the office and found Kathe and Roxanne talking and joined in. They are considered “newbies” like myself and are my favorite work people.

When I told them about my experience and being called “Sir” I found myself blinking to keep from crying. I didn’t know it bothered me so much – maybe my period was close.

Later, Charlie and I were driving to jazz with the dogs. On the way she was talking about her day. Recently, her boss has been a total b*tch to her and she thinks she doesn’t like her even though Charlie bends over backwards for her. I told her it’s because she’s going through a custody war with her ex- husband and she’s afraid she’s going to have to pay alimony and her current husband possibly being gay because they haven’t bumped uglies since they got married.

I mean, wouldn’t that make you grouchy?

“I know but do you ever have to do that thing with your jaw to keep from crying?”

“Yes, I had to do that today at work when I told Kathe and Roxy that I got called sir in Office Depot.”

“You what? Who called you sir, honey?”

It was then I started crying. Driving on the way to jazz, beautiful night, with my girl and dogs and I’m blubbering about f*cking being called “sir.” What the f*ck was wrong with me?

I was fine by the time we got the blanket spread and I poured a beer. Sometimes you just need a little cry.



three day red solo cup drama

It was pouring yesterday when I got out of bed. On a Monday, too, when I was so tired from running around like crazy on our three day weekend off. It was fun, well – most of it was, anyway.

Thursday night kicked off the first night of jazz in the neighborhood. We scrambled around and got things to take to nosh on, threw everything in the truck along with the dogs and drove to Oakhurst. Right after putting the coolers in the truck Bailey started acting freaky-deaky. She’s been like that ever since we went to Indiana and we had so much stuff piled up back there that the cooler fell on her and she jumped into the front seat on top of Charlie almost breaking her arm. (Can you picture 80 lbs of dog hurling herself into the front seat?) So, now every time we put the cooler, dry cleaning, gym bags and other inanimate objects into the truck she looks at them like they’re going to jump up hit her. This was what she was doing just then.

“Drive slow so they won’t fall over.”

So, I had to drive like an old person who just got let out of the nursing home on the way to Sunday dinner.

“Ok, I put in some extra Efferdent so I can really bite into that fried chicken at the country buffet. Oh, I forgot my cataract glasses….”

At jazz we ended up with several people on our blanket noshing. Ellen came after she got off of work then Cindy came over with Lisa. Later, Garth and his wife came and sat behind us. He didn’t recognize me at first as I hadn’t spoken or even laid eyes on him since Lee. He said that Lee had dropped off the face of the earth. One of the reasons I stopped hanging with Garth was because Lee and him hung together and I didn’t want her knowing my business. Fortunately, we weren’t blessed with Nancy’s presence that night but it’s no surprise because she would never show her face with me surrounded by friends and my girl.

The next day we went to look at washer and dryers, went down to the Braves stadium to buy tickets and had lunch at a cute little tex mex place near Oakland cemetery. After being fortified we ran to the hardware store to get tomato and pepper plants for the garden. Later, we had dinner at a mediocre Thai place in Decatur, a drink at MacMcGee’s and then took in Antigone Rising at Eddie’s Attic. The show opened with our friend, Hannah. The place packed in and they jammed out. It was great seeing them again.

Sunday, we had planned on taking the camper out on her maiden voyage to Stone Mountain. We loaded up, hooked up and took off for the mountain and got there around 1:00 p.m. We found the office and the lady circled several sites that were available to go look at. I was immediately suspicious wondering if everyone had already had gotten the good sites. We chose one that was the flattest and closest to the lake.

Let me tell you, it could have been way flatter (like my chest at 16) and it was a BITCH leveling. First, we fought over the levelers we brought Charlie saying that she was going to use four on one side and none on the other. I didn’t know that the legs of the camper could just stick right into the dirt. I thought they HAD to have a leveler under it. After running over and looking at three other campers I finally conceded and said ok. Then, we went to crank it up – that in itself it a bitch because of the heavy air-conditioning unit on the top. By the time we finished cranking it up we were both puffing. We caught our breath and started to unload the truck and put stuff inside.

“We should probably put the door down now.”

Side note #2 – the door will also be a mutha-f-er to put down if the trailer is not perfectly level. We were inside grunting like we were having massive sex trying to get that thing snapped in. We ended up having to lift the roof of the camper while sliding the door into the gap to tighten.

“One, two, three – LIFT! OOOOAAFFF, UUUUUGH, OH! Wait, I can’t get it. SHEEEEET!”

We went through this forever. Fortunately, the sites adjacent to us that had kids were off playing putt putt golf or something. My shirt was sticking to my back by the time we got that thing in.

“Damn, that was a BITCH! F-ing DOOR! “

“Hon, I’m sure it’s because we’re not exactly level is why the door wouldn’t just slide right in.” – in her mother-knows-everything voice.


I just looked at her with a slight glare. (The full-on would come next.)

Ok, I’m going outdarn, we needed to put the Bimini shade down before we cranked this thing up.”


“Hon, take a break, go have a beer. I’ve got this. I can just reach it…..” she reaches up and unzipped it and there’s an explosion of poles and canvas. Bailey took off practically running to the other side of the campground.

Thankfully, I was away from the explosion searching for the little red cups I’d packed.

“You mess with it then.”

I was done. I needed a beer and grabbed the cups to pour it in since technically there wasn’t alcohol allowed where we were camping. All we needed was the beer police to show up and take it from us. I came out when Charlie was trying to use one of the braces that came wrapped up in the shade. I stepped out just when one of them came falling down and hit me over the head. She covered her mouth and said, “I’m so sorry, honey.”

I glared at her full on then. I know she was probably afraid I was going to explode again at that point. I calmly went over and poured her a beer as well handing it to her, “Take a break before I shove that pole up your @ss.”

“Mmm, promise?”

“You’ve been watching too much Queer as Folk, love.”

We sipped beer for a while and she went back to it. I went over and tried to help, the dogs walked up when suddenly one of the pole braces fell off again narrowly hitting me and Bailey ran off freaky-deaky again. The Bimini shade had become The Shining Shade -simply because everything I see that’s freaky-deaky [or can kill] to me I call The Shining [object].

jack (I don’t know if that was me at the time or the shade but at that point all I knew was that I needed more beer)

Then, Charlie opened the door and ripped the shade and started cursing. I collapsed in gales of  laughter.

“Shut up!”

“Who’s pissed at the shade NOW?! How we going to get your dog into the camper now that the shade has become the cooler?”

We finally got that stupid @ss thing situated where it wouldn’t fall and kill us but I’m still not convinced or impressed. It seems way more trouble than it’s worth. I pointed out that all it would take is a Phillips screwdriver to take it off and throw in the lake but Charlie didn’t seem to like that idea.

camper (this may be the last picture of the shade so look closely – notice Bailey sitting a good distance from it.)

We brought enough food to cook on the grill that was at the site. We grilled a burger for me and chicken for Charlie and ears of corn. I had made a broccoli slaw and we had a ton of chips and beer dip. The camper was equipped with beds on both sides. Charlie had brought the dogs electric blanket and plugged it in.


One thing we discovered was that the camper really needs a porta-potty…..we managed to rough it with a single red cup (which was hard to keep from mistaking it from the original beer cup – and, it gave a whole new concept to two girls and a cup)

redcup (temporary camper por-ta-let)

This was ok to get us through the night but if you have to go this route I recommend a larger cup, like, a 32 “ounzer” that you get at the gas station for obvious reasons……yes, we had to mop the floor when we got home….no more about that. The camper was waaaaay easier to lower and fold up. By 10 the next morning we were hitched up and heading for home. We backed it into the carport just as the rain hit.

I will close with this:

mini vaca

One more day and Charlie and I have a three day weekend off together! Friday night we’re heading to Edie’s Attic to catch a show and hopefully Saturday the weather will be good enough we can take the camper out for the first time and work out all the bugs.


Yeah, remember this? We have not taken it out yet. So it will be it’s maiden voyage. We plan on christening it, too! I can’t wait!