Charlie, Ellen and I did our jailbreak obstacle course race this last Saturday. This was our first obstacle course race.  I was a bit leery from the beginning. But let’s back up-

– Thursday Ellen was supposed to come over and we were all going to do shirt prep for the race. Charlie and I both were going to wear black shirts with white stripes she was going to paint on with a box on the back that had two letters standing for “Charlie’s bi-otch” and mine [lanies real name] bi-otch. Ellen was going to have a gold star on hers because she was going to be the cop who chased us. Well Charlie and I did ours but Ellen had unplanned guests and couldn’t make it.  Well, that is – she was going to make dinner for them before coming over and Charlie and I weren’t intersted in staying up until midnight on a school night so we bailed. (Needless to say she never got her shirt done) I do admit it was a disappointment that she was so caught up in the guests that it was lost on her that it was Charlie and I’s way to include her in something that the three of us could do together since we hadn’t done anything with her for awhile. (and, can you guess why?) Friday evening when we asked her if she wanted us to pick her up on the way to the race she said there may be a crowd – meaning she was bringing the unsavory guests with her.

Saturday we met her there with her current gf, Lorraine, in tow. I knew the guests were too lazy weren’t going to be there.
The race was literally held on the grounds of the Gwinnett county jail and was set up with about 15 obstacles some very intimidating.
“Y’all don’t be mad if we come in last”, Ellen said.
Yeah, we’ll we won’t leave you like you left us, I thought. I mean, honestly – why do I bother?
We were going to all three finish the race together come hell or high water – which, was in a dumpster at the end. I gave Lorraine the key to my truck to hold and  she promised to take [about 3] many pictures of us during the race.

We were standing near the starting line getting ready to go when Lorraine said, “someone should tell that woman she’s way too old to be wearing pigtails”
I was a bit shocked that churchy she said that. I mean she’s waaaaaaaay not the person to be making judgments. She wasn’t even doing the race – for reasons that would be apparent looking at her but not judging her despite her judging.
“Maybe she’s just wearing her hair that way because she’s about to do a race [unlike you] and wants to keep it out of her face” which later became out of the mud….
I admit right then I thought, “here’s another weird gf of Ellen’s.” Granted this one is EONS better than Louise but…
BAM! The gun went off and I didn’t have time to ponder Ellen’s [weird @ss] choices of gf’s. We were on! We ran through a swamp, lugged 2 twenty pound bags on our shoulders, crawled through a muddy ditch with netting on top that my fingers kept getting caught in, through the woods, up steep inclines and finally the large obstacle course. The first was an intimidating tower you had to climb up and belay down a ramp. It was easier than it looked. Next was a tube u slid down into a sandpit. I slid down and when I hit the pit my ankle caught in the sand and I heard a loud pop. I limped up and Charlie and Ellen were there.
“Are you ok?”
“Yeah, I think I can put weight on it”
One of the sheriffs volunteers asked me if I wanted to go to first aid. But I said no that I wanted to finish. So on we went. The next thing scared me (and Ellen) the most. It was an A frame tower we had to climb that was quite high. Charlie went first and shouted over her shoulder “don’t look down”
Ellen and I were behind and I was afraid my ankle would give out on me at the top and I wouldn’t be able to climb. All I thought is if I can just reach the top I’ll be ok.
Once I hit the peak and climbed over I waited for Ellen. I knew I wasn’t going anywhere until she reached the top. We made it down and went through several other obstacles but none as scary as the last one. We crawled through a tube, balanced on muddy logs over swampy areas, and then came to a rope you had to swing your legs up and go hand over hand and inch your way upside down to the other side. Charlie did it like a champ and I thought I wasn’t going to be able to do it but I did. We all finished by climbing into a dumpster filled with muddy water (which, Charlie obsessed over the whole time – “That water is going to be so nasty on my coochie by the time we get there.”).
And, Ellen would answer, “if we get there….”
And, me, “WE’LL GET THERE!”

Come hell or muddy high water we did.

Here’s pics from Charlie n I:






Here’s the 3 pics Lorraine took: (note the long tube in the background – this was the one I sprained my ankle on sliding down)







All in all Charlie and I had a blast! There’s another one in August we want to do. It’s up for debate whether we want to include Ellen.



2 thoughts on “Jailbreak

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