Today is my birthday and I’m writing you this post on my new laptop that Charlie gave me as one of my gifts (along with the leather saddlebags). I have already been on a long walk with the dogs, had brunch with Ellen and went to the Growler store to buy beer.

Ellen and I also cut through Cooks Warehouse on the way to breakfast but we didn’t buy anything – neither of us wanted to take on the second mortgage that it would require to buy anything from that store. This lady tried to get us interested in a coffee maker that was more than my car – it was quite amusing. At brunch we looked at their catalogue on cooking classes. I guess if you take their knife skills class you can volunteer for any of their other cooking classes which would be a deal as they run anywhere from $50 on up.

I hadn’t seen Ellen since the 4th of July party and it was good to catch up. She, unfortunately had just gotten back from going home for her step father’s funeral so we discussed that in length. It was a very rough time – as all passings are – for her. We talked about churchy quite a bit. I hadn’t dared bring her and their relationship up as I know that when Ellen is ready to talk about it then she will. Anything before that she plays the evasive card that makes you feel like a prying mother-in-law.

I won’t air it further here but my ideas on the matter were spot on. I’ll shut up now.

Tomorrow, Charlie is off and we plan on spending the day together and doing martinis and jazz at Fernbank and taking in the IMAX movie on sharks that evening. Saturday the same plus we’re meeting some friends at the local brewery for a tasting. It should be a fun weekend. I am very stoked about it and know that I will dread going back to work on Monday with the next day off being all the way until Labor day weekend. I’ll shut up about that, too.

Charlie’s taking me to a nice restaurant tonight – one of my favorites – Agave in Cabbagetown. I cannot wait to have one of their signature margaritas.

One of the things I bought for myself – a low sissy bar backrest for the Triumph won’t fit with my current saddlebags without some sort of fabrication. So, you won’t be subjected to anymore motorcycle porn for awhile [Maria] I’m sad to say. I will have to put the bike in the shop and have them do it and it may take a while – plus, $$. I’m not going to do that right now as its prime riding season and it would be a waste to have it sitting in a shop for three weeks until they get around to it. It will have to be a winter job when it’s too nasty to ride and I have $$. Plus, Bernice and Ralphie are coming up next week from Florida to visit and bringing their bikes so we’re all going to ride.

The only thing that feels a year older is my ankle but I’m finally able to run on it a bit – not far but progress all the same.





monday snippets

Thought snippets of the day (you can tell it’s a Monday):

Ok, what drug got to you?

If I see one more picture of you and such-n-such…..

Dude, what do you do except be on FB all day? Oh, that’s right – you don’t work and –

-how do you pay the bills? Must be wich.

I don’t want to work today

I hate this salad

I want a hamburger or –

Potato chips

I can’t wait until Wednesday is over

What’s Charlie doing?

When will she be home from work today?

I can’t stand that b*tch she works with that stapled that poor kittens leg without pain med. Poor thing.

How would she like it if I stapled her leg, huh?

Some people just shouldn’t be vets and –

What about this poor guy!? Being hit by an airplane while he’s walking on the beach on his wedding anniversary! What the heck is wrong with that pilot? -planes should have horns!

Dude, I’m sorry but I don’t want to see that. Really. Just write something that I’ll read. Please. Write. Something.

Another dress? I don’t get it.

Potato chips and maybe a Ginger tea – I needaginger-tea.

I’m glad I didn’t’ subscribe to your feed because my whole FB page would be all updates from you and I DON’T CARE……churchy

I’m going for chips.



motorcycle meetup & mods

I can’t believe it! Already I have 8 women sign up for my Thursday night ride to dinner Meetup! I’m really stoked about this! Who knows, maybe I can get enough women involved in this where we can form a club or a chapter and start doing charity rides and so forth. In the meantime, I promised you some motorcycle mod pics. Here they are: 20140727-081907-29947239.jpg




Charlie and I took the old stock chrome bars off and put on some black Norman Hyde “M” bars. They feel great, I have a much better riding posture with these. More forward and a little more agressive. The old bars I rode sitting up verticle like some old [Harley rider] man. I do hate the grips we put on, though. I will either be taking these off and installing differnt ones or getting a larger grip for the throttle side as we could barely get it on and there’s space between the edge of the grip and the cut off switch housing.

The next modification is going to be putting on a low backrest. That should be in next week. Stay tuned!

tequila chex mix friday

I had a wonderful day off with the dogs yesterday. I played around with my new laptop, read, did dishes, scooped the litter box and took the dogs for a walk around the lake. It was very productive. I can get all kinds of things done when I don’t go to work – as y’all can relate.

Last night Charlie and I went out to dinner with some friends we hadn’t seen since she originally moved here two years ago. We went to Mezcalito’s Cocina & Tequila bar that and it was great! The space alone is really cool less the screaming children running through it I have decided that it’s one of my favorite Mexican cantinas less kids. We were supposed to ride motorcycles down there but it started raining right before we were to leave so we bagged it and took the truck.

This brought me to the idea of regularly trying to schedule dinners with people we haven’t seen in a while. I also started a meetup for women to ride their motorcycles to dinner. The first one is August 7th. I wonder if anyone will show up. Has anyone out there ever started a MeetUp?

In other news, I’ve been a little obsessive about doing modifications to the motorcycle. Nothing big, like having to take off a tire or anything -but just little things. I ordered some different handlebars and handgrips that I can’t wait to install. I want some new taillight bulbs and lenses and mirrors. I’m trying to get all the accessories in black instead of chrome. Less stuff to polish and it gives it a more customized look. I even went as far as developing a spreadsheet that has all the modifications I want to do listed with links to the product pages. (Charlie thinks I’m a bit looney over this) but, at least when I win the lottery I’m ready to purchase one of these mods I can go directly to the site. When I start doing this I will show before and after pictures. (which, I’m sure that those of you posting dresses on your sites will be really interested to see 😉







It’s a very rainy day here HOTlanta. As you know from my previous Charlie and I went up to Chattanooga with the camper. The first evening was great – we got there before dark (barely because the traffic was a bear getting out of town) and got set up and enjoyed some adult beverages in front of the fire – or, should I say – in between Charlie spraying the fire with lighter fluid because the stupid firewood we bought wouldn’t stay lit. That night we fell into a content sleep inside our camper, the dogs bedded down, coziness…..only to wake up to rain the next day.

“What does the weather say?”

I pulled it up on my phone, “70% all day! How could we miss this?”

“Well, maybe it won’t be raining tonight when we go see Lucius.”

We got up, made some coffee, took the dogs for a walk and hopped in the truck and drove to downtown Chattanooga. We walked around North Shore for a while. There was this awesome store that let us bring the dogs in – Blue Skies. We shopped while everyone in the store petted and made over the dogs. We stayed until Bailey barked at a kid in a stroller and made him cry (strollers and wheelchairs freak her out).

We went on down the street to this little taco place called Taco Mamacita. I went in and asked if we could have the dogs on the covered patio but no, we couldn’t. We could, however, have them leased just on the other side of the railing of the patio. I went to get the car and their blanket. Once I pulled up and parked I got their rug out and leashed them up. Their spot just happened to be next to one of three handicap parking places. We no more got seated when it started to sprinkle at the same time some old lady winged right into the space right next to the dogs (she had two others to choose from but chose that one) barely missing them. We decided then that they would have been more comfortable in the truck. I had to walk through the restaurant again to get outside to unleash then just as a door was flung open, again, barely missing the dogs and some woman started hauling out a wheelchair. I was just waiting for Bailey to start freaking out. The woman had the decency to ask if I was moving and I said to give me a second and I would get out of her way.

Once all that was done I finally settled back in my seat with Charlie to order some appetizers of chips and dips and tacos. After lunch, we headed up to a doggie store since we thought the dogs much deserved some gourmet bones after that experience. We ended up at Bone Appetit Bakery. The dogs, again, got fawned over and got to pick out a bucket of treats and new collars. They got these really great ones from K9 Explorer.

After that, it started to rain again so we decided to go back to the campsite and have sex rest and see what the weather would do. If was still raining then we’d bag the show and have sex hang out in the camper. We did have a decent wifi connection, my iPad and later after going to Walmart a Bluetooth speaker. Oh, and another iPhone cord because roughing it did not include not charging our phones, iPad and yes new Bluetooth Can speaker. (which is the bomb, btw). It didn’t stop raining so I ordered us a pizza (roughing it) after sex and we just hung out had adult beverages. We had sex, relaxed, hung out, laughed, talked, listened to music. At one point we were walking the dogs and Charlie went to scoop up doo-doo with these new dogs bags I bought. As she was talking after she scooped it up she didn’t realize that the bags was tearing. I saw it and said, “Hon!”by that time it had practically ripped apart and she screamed as all the doo fell to the ground in one plop. (Bailey’s poop is similar to a cow patty). I started cracking up laughing. She was like, “Not funny” and started chasing me around with her hand that got doo on it. She was laughing, too.

“How does all this stuff happen to me? More blog material for you.”

That night it rained so hard that we both woke up at one point. The rain was pounding on the camper roof so hard that it was deafening. I felt like we were sardines in a can under a running facet or that Russell Crowe would be standing outside our camper in the morning with farm animals saying “Get in!”.As I pictured this I fell back asleep. Fortunately, no leaks in the camper but the next morning our campground was a mess. The pavilion over our picnic table was collapsed. There was mud on the fake grass mat we roll out in front of the door and our cooler was full of water. Note to self – store the cooler in the truck or under the camper when it’s raining. The rain hitting the cooler made all the ice melt. I inspected all this after getting up and letting the dogs out to pee. I went ahead and made a pot of coffee and Charlie got up and we started packing up. The rain started up again just as we were hooking up the camper to pull out. Drenched, we drove to the nearest McDonalds, changed into dry shirts and got breakfast before merging onto the highway home.

We made it home way quicker than the way up because of little traffic on a Saturday. Once home we backed into the carport and unloaded. The neighbors came over and we sat outside and talked to them. Then, our friend, Cindi, came by and ended up staying for dinner. It was good to be home but I’m glad for the opportunity to get out of town again. Especially, since this is the only third time we’ve taken the camper out. We’re still learning things about it – what to pack -flashlight, frying pan, and other various things we forgot in our haste to get out of town. The next outing is Labor Day and I swear if it’s over 50% rain we’re bagging it.

I’ll leave you with some pics:

photo 1(our campsite the first night)

photo 2

photo 4 (808 Can speaker – the bomb!)

photo 5 (Charlie’s innovative way of drying off the camper)



Concerts and I don’t want to f*ck your wife

Charlie and I are off on Thursday to Tennessee to go camping and to an outdoor concert. Tonight we have to pack the camper and go to the store to gather everything for the trip. This is just a small impromptu excursion that we decided to do at the last-minute. I noticed that Lucius was playing in Chattanooga’s Nightfall Series and said why don’t we take the camper up and check out the show?

Last Saturday, we had a date for sushi and a show at the Masquerade. Usually, I enjoy the openers for shows but this one, named “Kitty” (which, was confusing as the main show was Kitten – but both vastly different) was a bust, I thought. This woman came out in some shortie-shorts, a white tank – would have looked ok had she not had some nightgown, robe with flowers on it thrown over them. She plugged in an Apple laptop to an amp and started rapping with the computer playing background music.

“I think I could have done that.” – Charlie

She also had a big chair sitting in the middle of the stage that looked like it had seen better days.

“I bet she’s in that thing before the shows over.”

I decided it was a good time to hit the ladies’ room and by the time I came back she was bouncing on the chair singing into the microphone that was plugged into the amp.

“I knew she’d be on that thing – I feel like we’re at a karaoke slumber party.”

 “Let’s hope the main act is better.” I said.

It was and I was feeling no pain by the time they started (10:00). I thought it was a great show but I admit that I don’t want to go back there for a long time. I don’t know what it is about Charlie and I – we seem to be swinger magnets. Meaning, middle aged guys who are going through a mid-life crisis want to hang out with us. We no more got to the show that night when some guy came up and asked us for a cigarette. After telling him we don’t smoke anymore he said, “What to see something cool?” as he started thumbing pictures on his phone.

Our mistake was: “Sure” while we waited for him to come up with some picture I was sure was going to be his d*ck.

We should have walked away. [WALK AWAY, LANIE, WALK AWAAAAAAAAY!] Why don’t I listen to these gut things more closely?

No, we stayed and he came up with a picture of the lead singer of Kitten. At the time we thought he was someone special to get a pic of her so close but later we decided that we could have gotten the same pic had we taken the trouble to go find her in the cavernous building. After showing us he said we were amazing [RUN LANIE RUN!] and that to go on to the bar and tell Maggie to get us drinks on his tab and that he’d join us later.

Sidenote: Be suspicious of strange men that want to buy you and your gf drinks!

At the bar Maggie smirked when we told her. We said we’d be happy to pay for our own drinks.

She advised, “No, let Lennie pay for them but go [RUN LANIE] melt into the crowd – he’s a weird one.”

“What is it with these middle aged men that want to hang on us?”

“I don’t know but I’m sick of it.”

Recently, we had gone out with our neighbors Daffny and Tim. I’ve noticed that since they moved in next door that Daffny doesn’t get on my nerves half of what Tim does. That night we went out Tim had a little much to drink and was getting a little handsy in the back seat with Charlie. Not like coming on to her but VERY chummy like arm around her, etc. Then, he started saying things like, “You think my wife is attractive?” We answered benignly “Well, yes. She’s ok.” I mean, we’re not going to insult the woman in front of her face. But, I wanted to say – “Dude, she’s way more attractive than you!” but I didn’t want to insult him, either. I just wanted to drop the whole conversation.

Why do straight men always think that lesbians want to f*ck their wives? I want to get a T-shirt that says, “I don’t want to f*ck your wife!!”


After that night, Charlie and I vowed we wouldn’t go out and get drunk with Tim again. The other day I was sitting out in the carport when I noticed Tim and Daffny’s dog, Riddle, running by. This is another thing – despite both our dogs being outside and running around together I do not feel the need to go out and socialize every d@mn time I let the dogs out and I’m sitting in the carport. Just then Tim walked around the side of the house and said “Hey.” I groaned inwardly. I’ve realized that unlike his wife I need gaps of time in between socializing with Tim or else he gets on my nerves. We chatted for a minute then he said, “Hey, let’s go out again soon. You and Charlie and Daffeny and I. We’ll let Daffny be the designated driver and we’ll go out and tie one on.”

I was thinking about poor Daffny (although, I wonder how poor she is – other people have mentioned that maybe she’s turned on that her husband is turned on by us.) having to drive all of us drunks around and listen to Tim all night ask if we want to f*ck his wife. I relunctantly said, “I’ll check with Charlie.” Meaning I would tell Charlie “He said he wants to go out with us and get drunk again.” while she rolls her eyes and says, “Oh nooooo. We’re not doing that again.” and me saying, “I NO!”

Which, was exactly how it went down. I’m wondering if I need to hire that surveyor to mark our property pins so Charlie and I can start putting in a fence. What do you think? Do you ever have experiences with middle aged men/women coming on to you or your partner?



the 4th aftermath

4th (Sadie: “Just take the d@mn picture.” Bailey: “I wonder if they have any corn chips left.”)

Well, we made it through the 4th with a good time had by all. Charlie’s youngest son and best friend rolled into town very early (3:30 a.m.) Thursday morning. That day after getting up around noon we all piled in the car and went down to Little 5 points to do some shopping. Of course, Bernice (bff) went wild when she saw all the hipster stores. (Like some people I know 😉 That night we all went out and shot pool and had dinner. Charlie’s son, Bray, seemed to have a great time. Since his birthday is in August we had decided to go ahead and celebrate it while he was here with a cake and presents.

Our 4th party had a decent turnout and the moonshine shots we did at Roberts house fireworks down at the lake were great! Saturday, we laid around most of the day and then went out to Edie’s that night for a show. By Sunday everyone was sad that they had to leave but they promised to be back – hopefully, sometime in August. I felt like I should have taken Monday off from work just to recoop it had been such a great weekend! And, I could have kicked myself for just not taking the whole d@mn week off but – I’m taking off next Friday and Charlie and I are loading up the dogs and taking the camper up to Tennessee for the weekend. Lucius is playing a free outdoor concert downtown Chattanooga and we’re planning on hitting that. It will be nice to get out of town again before September hits and we’re so busy with Labor Day weekend and then New York.

I moved into a new cube at work yesterday. Let’s just say that the view is a lot nicer here – one of Midtown.


I had requested a while ago that I be allowed to move into a cube that was recently vacated by a very loud woman who had moved on to another job only after being here less than a month. Loud woman had a very nice view and after vacating, that side of the office got a lot quieter –more so than the side I was on. Plus, there had been some bitchy woman behind me personality conflicts where I used to be and I just as soon removed myself from the drama it. I’ve learned to sniff out drama a mile away and steer clear. Like my friend said the other day, “You have a grown-up’s job, finally.” Meaning, I run my own projects, set my own meetings and schedule and don’t really have to report to anyone unless someone’s not doing their job I need something escalated or one of my projects has gone to hell needs help. My new boss has made it abundantly clear not to bother him unless something’s on fire so I intend to do that. Granted, I have to be selective on whom I ask questions – but, I’m good at finding out information and how to ask in a way that it’s not annoying. Like, “You ready for football season? How do you think the Falcons will do this year? BTW – when are feasibility studies usually done?”

Everything goes down better around here with football in the mix, I’ve found. Especially, since we can see the Georgia Dome from the office window. Well, not my window but other [loud, drama] side. I’m ok with that! Speaking of football season – I really do need to get on that TV in the carport and be ready…..I’ve found that I’ve become OBESSED with electronics and TV’s ever since we put up that smart TV and hooked up a receiver and cd changer in the kitchen. Now we have either continuous music or TV while we’re cooking.

Speaking of kitchens – I’m wanting to start canning some salsa tomorrow. The garden is exploding with yellow, orange and red tomatoes, sweet peppers and jalapenos. I have to get going on that.

What’s some of the summer projects that you’re working on?


a blogging challenge accepted

Aussa Lorens has challenged me to write a female [lesbian] version of her post “10 signs you’re dating a man-child”.

[cracking fingers] I think I can do that. I’ve dated plenty of women-childs in my life. But, I’m going to mix it up a bit and talk about a few women-childs I’ve dated and their hang-ups.

1. Woman-child lived in the basement of her ex gf’s house.

This would be Lee. [for those of you that have read for a while you probably remember all this] Lee had a house in Savannah that any hoarder would admire. Every room and closet was full of junk she had stored there over the years. Despite knowing that she made more $$ than I per year (I had helped her get that job) and owning her house outright (her parents bought it for her) she claimed she was too broke to pay over $500 rent in the city, therefore, had no choice but to live in her ex’s basement.

2. Woman-child only ate chicken wings, Caesar salads and drank Bud Light.

This would be Beverly. Like Lee she was also a hoarder. I never saw the girl eat anything but wings or a Caesar salad. Salads for light days and wings for party days – like when the Braves played. She was obsessed with baseball and had to have wings and Bud light every time she watched a game. Beverly was younger than I and obviously had a high metabolism – but, I could see the writing on the wall. I saw myself in 10 years sitting on her dog hair infested couch watching baseball, her eating wings and weighing 300 pounds. Ironically, she married a man after we dated.

3. Woman-child works with monkeys in some scary lab, has monkey giz thrown on her all day but still refused to ever have a frank conversation about (why we only had vanilla) sex and only wanted vanilla sex.

Leesa – short for crazy monkey woman. When a woman only wants a hand-job I’m very suspicious. Hand jobs do not make for lasting relationships. Sex should be messy and great – not vanilla and hand-jobby.

4. Woman-child is in her mid-thirties and is not even out to her parents.

This would be Kim who also was bi-polar and self medicated with pot. I’m also suspicious of people who are completely on their own but still aren’t out to their parents. I mean, what are they afraid of? That mommy and daddy will cut them off? Football season really did it for me – not only did she have to go to every football game of her alma mater with her parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles this was the time she would become straight again and I would melt into the woodwork. This relationship didn’t last very long (through football season) and ended with a screaming match in a restaurant – she had skipped her meds that day and her bong was busted.

5. Woman-child’s idea of a date consisted of playing Guitar Hero – to Metallica’s greatest hits.

Lee again. She even bought another guitar so we could play together. I told her that if that was her way of being romantic that perhaps she should keep pursuing all those other women she kept texting and calling from the dating site the entire time we were dating.

6. Woman-child never cooked a meal in her life.

Melinda had no idea how to cook a meal, make coffee or take out the trash. I believe she just thought all this happened through osmosis. One day I came home from work and the vegetable steamer was on the table filled with candy. When I asked her about it she said she had found this wonderful candy dish under the cabinet and thought it would be nice on the coffee table. She is now married to a lawyer and I’m sure she knows how to cook now.

7. Woman-child lies and takes drugs but despite all that my family loved her.

Sally was a huge coke addict. I dated her for almost a year before I caught her in the bathroom at one of the parties we threw doing coke. She swore it was the first and only time she’d ever did it. Despite all that years after we stopped seeing each other my sister and mother would constantly ask about her until one day the conversation went like this: “What’s Sally up to?”

“I don’t know – probably doing coke and getting thrown in jail.”

8. Woman-child’s messed up friends

Kim had all these straight guy friends who she hung with who all wanted to F-her. They were all these Bubba-white, good-ol boys that I couldn’t stand. Conversations with them was like, “Buuuurp – do you think Auburn will win against UGA? Pass me another Natty-Light”

Leesa’s only friends were her ex gf and her gf. Everything we ever did was with them. I’d ask if she wanted to go out and grab some dinner and she’d say, “Wait – let me call Lori and Lorraina and see if they want to go.” We couldn’t’ do anything without them. When it came to hanging with my friends she would put herself in a corner and not speak to anyone.

“Dude, I don’t think your gf likes me.”

“Dude man, just give her time – she’s just getting to know you.”

“DUDE – you’ve been dating her two years.”

Wow, two years of handjobs……I have to leave this.

Lee had no friends except her ex who she lived with.

9. Woman-child was religious but yet thought she was going to Hell because she was a lesbian

This would be Rebecca. Both her parents were devote Methodists and every time she got a gf they would tell her she was going to hell and cut her off. Her mother even self-published a book about her own daughter being gay and how hard it was that she knew she was going to hell even though she would never discuss it with her.  

10. Woman-child’s weird relationship with her parents.

Lee again – I have so much material on her I could write a non-sex in the lesbian city book. Lee hadn’t spoken to her parents since she was three. (My psychologist friend had a hey-day analyzing this) I once visited Lee’s house in Savannah when her parents were there – nice people – very nice people but I witnessed Lee writing them notes back and forth and whispering to her mother when her father was in earshot. The whole dynamic was so weird.

Have you ever dated a man or woman-child? Did you ever ignore the warning signs only to kick yourself later?




Burning Bridges

“You can’t force people to be in your life. They either are or they aren’t”, I said to Charlie just the other day when we were contemplating our guest list.

Another blogger said this: if someone wants to leave you, let them. If someone has trouble deciding if you are worth it, remove yourself from the equation and make their decision a little easier. If someone has turned and walked away, watch them go until they are out of sight, and then get up, cross the street and walk away in the opposite direction. Do not allow yourself to become an unwanted occupant of someone’s time. And do not, under any circumstance overstay your welcome in anyone’s heart, or life.

After reading that, I realized that I didn’t want to be that unwanted occupant. If they didn’t want me in their life then that’s not my problem.

This was a new thought to me because historically I had these three (four if you count K) friends who I had always been tight with. We all even went and got the same tattoo. Years later after we’d all stopped speaking (for various reasons – the four of us had a very turbulent relationship when we were friends – usually, one would be mad at the other and the other two would take sides and then try to talk to the angry one. It was a continuous soap opera -probably why we aren’t friends anymore) I had finally heard from one of them [Alex] and even went on a trip with her and her gf Rachael when I was with Lee.

After that, I didn’t hear from Alex for a very long time (I also didn’t want to hear from her because I was so sick of both her and Rachael’s @ss’s after that trip) until she wound up in the hospital for an accidental overdose. At the time I had tried to contact the other two friends Stephanie and Dina (Not K because he was never really involved with us four original friends – he just got the tattoo because he mistakenly thought I was going to sleep with him). Stephanie had gotten with a woman who had two kids and was going through a divorce and had a lot going on. At the time we were friends Stephanie and Alex were going out. After they broke up Stephanie wasn’t really interested in being friends. Dina had cut us all off and had no desire to be friends with any of us. Like Stephanie she had had a crush on Alex and when she realized that she would never get with her she decided that we all sucked and that was it.


Can you see how much drama it was? Lesbians really suck sometimes but not d*ck.

The other day I ran across Dina on Facebook. I really loathe how FB brings up profiles of people that you’re not friends with and says, “People you may know.” [In fact, an ex of mine came up on that the other day and Lee came up on Charlie’s] Dina came up and I couldn’t help but look at her site. I wondered if I sent a request if she would accept. My thumb hovered over the button and then –

-I said, “Nope, F-her.” and after reading the above paragraph I knew my decision was sound. Lanie chases -except the time she chased her future wife, Charlie, but that’s the only person Lanie has ever chased and for good reason – but, aside from that –!

Shortly after that a message came up on my FB from Rachael:

Hi, Lanie,Rachael here..hope you are doing well. I wanted to invite you to an event coming up and see if you would like to attend. Shoot me an email at [stupidbitch]@comcasting dot net and I will share the details with you. Thanks and hope to hear back. Take care.

I’m not friends with Rachael on FB. In fact, she has never friended me even after we have mutual friends on FB (and, I’m even friends with Stephanie’s ex on FB but not Stephanie so F her, too). So, when someone who has never tried to friend me on FB after allllll this time and mutual friends messages me saying she has “an event” that tells me one of two things – she’s either trying to sell me something or she’s a stupid bitch gotten back with Alex and Alex is pressuring her to get us allllllll back together. (of course, Alex would be too lazy busy to do it herself even though it was never verified exactly what she does for a living).

I also saw a few days ago that she viewed my profile on Linkedin and deduced that she was stalking me trying to sell me something. Today, I got a text from a local number that I assumed was someone trying to buy my Peachtree number. My ankle is still busted up and sadly I can’t run it (I’m really disappointed about it, too). When I read the text it was Rachael again.

Hey girl..hope you are doing well! I wanted to invite you to Alex’s surprise birthday party July 18th at her gym in [too far for me to drive] I would love to have you there. [Yeah, because I would probably be the only one of us three to show] Do you know how to get in touch with Dina? Let me know if you can come and I will give you the address. Hope you can make it!

I laughed over the Dina part. Let Rachael try to contact her – if she doesn’t tell her to F-off I’d be surprised. I replied, “Sorry out of town for work. I have no way to get in touch with Dina…..good luck.”

I think I’m finally over them. Maybe I should have that tattoo removed.

Has anyone experienced old friends coming back recently – especially, when you’ve thought of them? What did you do?