miller time

Ever had days where FaceBook just pisses you off? I’m having one of those days. It’s just the whininess of it all. The poor me I have to work today [from being off all week because of snow days] and the poor me the sun is out and it’s Friday but I’m still depressed. Ok, Whiner #1 – at least you have a job, bi-otch!  [and, it’s a miracle you still do from milking the system with your workers compensation bs for so long]. Whiner #2 – if you would just go ahead and file for a divorce instead of trying to have your cake and eat her it too then you wouldn’t have the blues.

Good Goddess, people.

Yeah, I clicked off FB immediately this morning. There are some days I just need the ambiguous sometimes patronizing witty dialogue of a twitter feed. But –

-do you ever think that Twitter people think they’re smarter than you? That they have the razor tongues of a drag queen with Xanax withdrawals?

I at least put some funny things on Charlie’s page before I clicked off – she has reason to feel run down this week because she’s worked practically 5-12’s in a row and she’s draggin’ butt. Unlike some people she never got any snow days. Broken legs and flipped stomachs don’t go away on dogs and cats when there’s a dusting of snow and ice on the road.

I have to work with idiots all weekend in the rain but I’m not complaining – damn right. For now, it’s Miller time.

Have a great weekend, y’all!


winter storm watch & two girls and a truck

It never fails every time you get a new car, motorcycle, boat, camper or some other outdoor vehicle the weather takes a turn for the worse. Monday, the sun peaked out just long enough to dry the pavement and I fired up Black Fury and took her on a maiden ride.

Sorry Charlie.

I did at least ride her over to Charlie’s work during her lunch hour so she was able to come out and see. Afterwards, I did my standard city loop and came home. Just in time for it to start raining again. The week has been abysmal since.

Today, my office closed at noon to prepare for a winter storm that is supposed to hit late afternoon. I know it has already hit certain northern areas of the city, but on our side of town it varies from rain to sleet. Since there was no accumulation just yet I ran out to get some beer supplies. This reminds me of the snowmageddon we had last year and how the new GEMA chief and the Governor are more on it this year than last. I mean, people were stranded for days last year just because some @sshole couldn’t call it a state of emergency. (In fact, the now demoted head of GEMA last year said on a news conference that between 2 and 3 it hadn’t gotten terrible on the roads. Hello? It has started snowing at 10:00 a.m. and they didn’t let us out of work until 1:00).

What I can’t understand is that it’s a state policy that after some time we are allowed to telework once a week. So – if we’re allowed to do this why not be allowed to do it when we have inclement weather? I mean, we had early release but they could have said, Everyone plan on teleworking tomorrow until we know what the hell the weather is doing. (I brought my laptop home but I don’t plan on doing any work if the office is closed)

Charlie is still at work at this moment but if I have to I’m going to go get her.  It’s almost March and I hope it goes by fast!

Last night, it was supposed to get bad but it didn’t. A bunch of us went out for ½ price burgers at this pub we frequent. Ellen and Stephanie were there, Mary Ann, Katherine (who played the other night), Liz, Charlie and I. The night before we had Ellen and Stephanie over for dinner. Stephanie was supposed to leave on Monday to go back to Arkansas but the weather has been so bad she has stayed, much to – um – Ellen’s enjoyment.

We had gotten onto a topic of everyone’s ex’s at the dinner table the other night and after Ellen explained that she helped an ex of mine move out of my house just to get her out of my life I went to say that if I had known this was something a friend has to do for a friend then I would have moved Louise out long ago. However, before I could get it all out Charlie clamped a hand over my mouth as asked if anyone needed anymore wine.

Last night, Stephanie leaned over and said, What was that thing you were going to say about Louise?

Puzzled I said, I don’t know let me think. OH, I was saying that if I would have known Ellen wanted me to move Louise [CLAMP] Charlie’s hand over my mouth – this time knocking over the rest of my beer onto the table.

I guess some things will remain left unsaid. Speaking of unsaid things…

….our friend, Mary Ann got dumped by her fiancé right after they bought a house they were going to live in together once the fiancé quit her job and moved here. At Super Bowl I knew something was up when I asked Mary Ann when she was coming (she had been here two weeks before to close on the house – there were pictures of them celebrating with drinks and personalized house keys on FB and everything) and she balked and said, Well, she was coming in June but it seems that it’s going to be August now.

Oh, still finishing paralegal school?

No, she’ll be done by then she’s just waiting for this lawyer to move into her office. She’s had this office all to herself until they hired another attorney that is going to move in there so I imagine once she’s slated to the basement she’ll be wanting to quit and move down here and find another job.

I didn’t say anything after that. I didn’t think waiting until you lost a work office to move in with your fiancé was a good enough reason not to already have your @ss down here. I mean, it sounded kind of lame to me.

Weeks later Charlie came home from the grocery store and said she ran into her and the fiancé had broken up with her.

I knew it!

The only reason she told Charlie was because she had accidentally gotten into Charlie’s line and before she knew it Charlie was going, Hey, how are you? Oh. You don’t look so good. What’s wrong?

You can’t get anything past Charlie. If something’s wrong she will get it out of you.

She reluctantly told her that her and the fiancé broke up (I’m not even going to give the bitch a name on my blog, either). I couldn’t believe it. I mean, I could but they just bought a house together (I mean, I think both of their names are on the deed). I’m like, Why buy a house if you know you’re going to break up?

Since then she hasn’t talked to anyone about it. It’s been all hush-hush. She didn’t even want Ellen to know (who we told anyway and then threatened her life not to tell her she knew) We took her some soup the other day and saw the house – it’s a great house, too. But, unlike the house she didn’t look good. Her eyes were puffy like she’d been crying all morning. She has a small very old dog that hasn’t been doing well, either, and she’s been worried about him. I hoped that her dog didn’t kick off while she was going through this, too. When we left I told Charlie that I was very worried about her. She was too.

But, at least she was at the show on Saturday (her and Katherine are pretty tight and I knew she would never miss something like that) and out last night eating burgers. She did seem much better – not like a mile better but at least her eyes weren’t all puffy like on Sunday. When we saw her on Saturday I said she could come over any time and that we probably had some old plates she could throw against the house. She thanked us but said she was dealing with it.

I guess I’m wondering when the angry part is going to happen but I still feel really bad for her. I guess all we can do is keep her in our thoughts. At least the bitch moved on before she moved in so Ellen and I didn’t have to go over there and move her out.

weekend recap – black fury

Charlie and I had Friday off together and we had decided to go by the Harley Davidson dealership and look at bikes.

Uh. Oh. You know what happens now:


Yes, we ended up walking out of there with a brand new Sportster 883 Iron. Now, Charlie can finally ride her own ride and instead of the back of my shirt saying, “If you can read this the bitch fell off” it will say, “Since you can read this the bitch got her own ride.” (Now, if it would only stop raining long enough for her to do her maiden ride on it.)

Saturday, she had to work and I waited for Black Fury (our neighbors named her) to be delivered. The delivery man no more unstrapped her from the trailer and rode her into the carport when it started sleeting. Great. So, I guess we’ll ride her in the Spring.

That night our friend, Katherine Cole (who is now Yvonne’s main squeeze and she is Katherine’s drummer-main squeeze) had a CD release party at Red Light Café’. Katherine is also the captain of a motorcycle club that was in attendance as well as about every lesbian in the community of Atlanta and then some. Most of crazy monkey woman’s ex friends were there (CMW was not as she doesn’t speak to any of them anymore which is a relief) along with our friend, Leslie who unfortunately said that her and Lisa were “having a good time” and “sorry we messed up your bed.” Charlie and I sat with Ellen who had her new squeeze there, Stephanie. Most of CMW’s old friends came up and said hi and Hippy Dippy came by and said for the 45th time she needed to take my motorcycle class. Then, some random woman who was friends with one of CMWs’ ex friends asked about taking the class. If I got a commission for every class I referred people to I wouldn’t have to work.

The show was great and right before Katherine’s last number an ex friend of mine walked in with roses. Leave it to her to upstage everyone else – no, I’m too important to sit and listen to your entire show but – look at me waltz in at the last second with roses. Everyone look at me because I’m so important. This was what I was thinking when Stephanie turned around and said, Who’s that weird woman who just walked in?

I said, “Long story.”

She looks like a troll.

I had to agree. A long time ago when I wrote the blog before this one (which, I deleted and secretly told my followers where they could find me again) I wrote about this.  Back when I was unemployed troll had hired me to do work for her landscaping company and like all her ex-friends/and people who work for her she ends up screwing them over and/or having arguments with because she has anger management issues. Our fallout was over me trying to find additional work with a realtor friend of ours who had offered the job first to her company and her turning it down because it was too small and she only wanted to do jobs up in the snobby Paces Ferry area for rich people who most of the time never paid their bills. She found out that I had called the realtor bitch to see if I could get the work and then accused me of trying to take work away from her. I had tried to explain at the time that I had only done this after she said she didn’t want the work and that I wasn’t trying to take work away from her. I was just trying to make ends meet as she only had me working for her 2-3 days a week. All of her other illegals crew had outside landscaping work, too, and she knew this. Anyway, she fired me after screaming at me over the phone and held my last paycheck from her for 6 months after that.  This was six years ago and I have not spoken to her since – even after she sent me rambling emails and voice mails saying she was still upset over me taking work – never a “I’m sorry” because, really, her ego doesn’t allow for that. Later, I started my own landscaping company with many accounts and I replied to one of her emails saying that I had no room for her in my life anymore.

So, as I was edging for the door that night her wife came up to supposedly say Hi to Katherine but got so close to me that all I could do was say, Hey and walk away. It wasn’t a Hey I’m acknowledging you – it was a Hey I’m not talking to you and you’re getting in my space, Hey.  I wasn’t talking to that bitch, either. She was just as much to blame as the troll.  But, she was getting my face like she wanted to talk.

Finally, we got out of there without any uncomfortable conversations and Charlie was like, “That’s such-and-such?! Wow – she looks like a troll.”

“She is a troll.”

I’m done with that part of my life. I don’t want anything more to do with her or her wife.

I’m so ready for Spring and to start riding with Charlie. If only the weather would cooperate.

You can find me on Twitter @Lanie_Belluz

weeked recap

Charlie and I had a relaxing Valentines Day weekend. Saturday, we got up and had breakfast, went over to Ellen’s to take care of the chickens and then decided to go out for a V-Day lunch. Once we were done with that we ended up back at the house and sitting on the back porch. It’s hard to believe now – but, it was a nice evening out. Our neighbors were gone and we had the place [outside] all to ourselves. We practiced throwing beer bottles into the recycling bin and making A LOT of noise – on purpose as they weren’t there to complain. Sometimes they get on our nerves that way.

Yesterday, we decided to go to a movie and see American Sniper. I thought it was very good but the ending was a real bummer so just be forewarned. Afterwards, we came home and hung out while we grilled dinner. We managed to finally get a working dishwasher but now we need to start worrying about a stove. If it isn’t one thing it’s another.

I’m getting ready to work a couple of weekends in a row and I have to say that despite needing the $$ for a stove I’m dreading it. I had been wondering about something else to do part-time instead of teaching since it’s making me so miserable. It’s not really the students that make me miserable [most of the time although there are a few I wished who would take up underwater knitting] – it’s the man who employs me that I feel is treating me like a dog. I interviewed with a Segway tour group and made it through the first interview, however, when they asked me to come ride along on one of their electric car tours they never called me after that. The only thing I think why they wouldn’t be interested is either I’m not the right demographic for them and/or that I have a full time job and I wouldn’t be as available as most of the part timers they hire. Either way, I don’t think that particular tour was for me. What I end up doing to replace motorcycle teaching really needs to find me. So –

-after visiting Ellen’s Charlie and I decided to resurrect the landscaping biz and make her our first client as it’s a wreck over there. That way we can work our own hours and grow the business a little and later perhaps Charlie runs it full time. I like the idea because I already have the company set up (from my earlier unemployment days), business cards and we had a slew of friends who would be interested in maintenance. Although, we agreed we’d have to be specific about what services we’d offer.

So, we’ve been looking at landscape trailers and zero turn mowers which of course will probably one day lead to a mini barn out back. Maybe by the end of summer we’ll have it up and running. It’s a goal. I need to have an end date for teaching so I can tell them to kiss my @ss can back off that and focus on the landscaping and eventually fade that part of my life out. We’re also looking to get Charlie a motorcycle this spring. A couple of our close friends are getting bikes and it just makes sense. Plus, I’ve started this motorcycle group where we haven’t even ridden anywhere except to dinner.

Today, my office was closed because of the impending storm coming in. Everyone is hysterical about not getting caught out in it like last year. Me – I have enough personal days I can float at home all week if I want. The dogs have been hanging in the office, the cat’s in his bed and it’s quiet here a good day to write.

friday the 13th seagway into V-Day

So, everyone’s either very romantic or very bitter this time of year. My opinion is this: if you happen to be coupled up – enjoy it. If not, then – embrace your singleness. Pamper yourself either way. Just be happy to be alive and not find some holiday that will never go away a time to be bitter. Life it short.

My wife has already given me my Valentines Day gifts of chocolate and a little bear – which, Bailey wanted to eat.

But, for those of you that want to remain bitter here’s some V-Day mishaps that may cheer you up- hey, it could be much worse – re-blogged from my old blog:

V-Day Mishaps


Well, did we all make it through V-Day successfully? Does anyone have any horrible V-Day stories to tell? You know, like worst first dates and so forth? Any of the following scenarios apply?

You get to her door with chocolates in hand and find out she’s allergic to them.You get to her door with a beautiful bouquet of flowers and she says those are the same ones that they put on [insert lost loved one here] casket?

While you are at dinner the [insert pet name here] ate all the chocolate and had to be rushed to the 24 hour emergency vet to have it’s stomach pumped. Instead of sex that night you fall asleep at the vet waiting for “Snookums” to get out of surgery?

You decide not to do the standard card and send her an egreeting only to find out that she had computer problems or wasn’t even on the computer that day. (You find this out after getting the cold shoulder)You forget to make a res at a restaurant only to get there and it is packed with noisy yuppies.

You get to her door only to find that the ex sent a beautiful bouquet of flowers and you get the “Dear Jane” talk because they’re getting back together.

You both get food poisoning at the restaurant (that was your choice) and spend the night throwing up.

Their [insert pet name here] dies or has died that day so they can never celebrate V-day because of that.

When you show up at their door they are dressed all in black and want to bitch about their ex all night. (RUN FOREST, RUN!)

She gets you heart shaped pink soaps to put in your bathroom. (RUN, FOREST RUN!)

Your car breaks down on the way to the restaurant.

The ex shows up while you are having V-Day dinner.


tuesday chex mix

So, what’s new?

We finally have a new dishwasher that works – this is the third one we’ve gotten from (B)Lowes and I would tell you about it but I’m so tired of the story I would probably perish if I had to tell it again. Needless to say we’re not going to get our oven from there – which, is next.

The “can I get my pan/dish/bowl” is still an ongoing saga. Like the dishwasher I’m tired of telling that story. Slutty Lisa wanted to come get her dish the other night while Charlie and I were in the middle of dinner. I offered to drop it off at slutty Leslie’s house and she started giving me shit about it. Ok, I’ll leave it outside. She never came and got it. So now, I’m running it over to Leslies today so I can be done with them for good. I mean, how hard is it to bring your food in a disposable pan? Seriously? Next time we have a party I’m going to say either bring a disposable pan or leave your address so I can drop it off or mail it to you at my convenience.

I ran that race last weekend and it was cold as shit! And, why do I always forget to bring disposable hand warmers and take Sudafed before so my nose won’t constantly be running down my face? I’m so unprepared. I think the nose part was a distraction. I didn’t think I did that well but it’s only the second race I’ve ran since my injury. I was thinking of running another one this weekend but it’s only supposed to be 20 degrees on Saturday and the race starts at 7:30. I don’t want to freeze to death. This one is an 8k – very tempting as I need to up my mileage. I don’t know – I’m still thinking about it. It’s a freebee (meaning free to Atlanta Track Club members) soooo, again tempting.

I downloaded this app called Uber after the neighbors kids told me about being all the way across town drunk off their faces and taking an Uber back to the house for only $12. Heck, if we needed it to only get to Decatur I bet it would be $5. I set it up on my phone to draw from my Paypal account. That way I don’t have to mess with cash and smelly cab drivers.

Charlie and I went on a great motorcycle ride last Sunday. It was so nice outside it made me really wish we were done with all this winter business. We’re hoping to get her a bike this Spring so she can start riding, too. We have several friends now who ride. Yvonne and another friend are signed up to take my motorcycle class in March and Yvonne is buying an ex of mine [Bird]’s bike.  Our other friend [who’s dating Yvonne] is in a group called the Chrome Bones. They have a couple of open rides coming up that happen to fall on weekends I don’t work. Katherine said in order to become a “patched” member you have to do a couple of open rides and then they decide if you’re “safe” enough. This was after I asked her what it took to join if I had to wear a strap-on and talk effeminate since the group is mostly gay men. We had a laugh over the “my being safe” part as I’m Mz. Safety. In fact, I wore my bright orange reflective vest last Sunday when Charlie and I rode and 4 people happened to pull out in front of us. Every time I anticipated that the stupid driver would do this and I was correct. It’s a zoo out there.


running of the feet – and mouth

I bit the bullet yesterday and signed up for the Atlanta Track club. There was a race I wanted to do this weekend that if I joined I could do for free if I was a member. I went to their website and there a bunch of races they sponsor that are free to members. Now that’s done I’m going to be really careful not to hurt myself.

Ok, I have to admit something and tell me if I’m being unreasonable here, I can take it. Earlier I mentioned we had some peeps at our superbowl party that hooked up and messed up our spare room. I’m still kind of pissed over that. I mean, here’s how it went down. One of the motorcycle gals – Leslie hooked up with one of the pool girls, Lisa. (I swear everyone with that name is TROUBLE) Well, Lisa got really drunk, like, slurring words drunk. Her had Leslie had been talking all night and told both Charlie and I – and whoever else who would listen that they were going to go out on a date after that night. They liked each other and blah, blah, blah. I mean, don’t hold back y’all, whatever. Anyway, towards the end of the night when people were leaving Leslie asked Lisa if she was ok to drive. I mean, come on – the girl could barely walk without hitting the wall and part of me was thinking – do you really want to go out with someone who gets drunk off their face the first night you meet them? Really?!

But, who are you to judge, Lanie. [Holding hands up]

So, Lisa says that she needs a bit to sober up before driving home. I had asked Leslie earlier if she was going to take Lisa home – meaning to her own house and she thought I meant driving her to outside the fruitloop where she lives and said, “She lives all the way up in Norcross. I’m not going to do that. I’m not that kind of girl.” [whatever that means]

Charlie and I suggested that they could stay a bit and even crash for a while if they needed to, there was a spare room etc. and we went to bed. We both had to get up and go to work the next day. So, I just figured that they would make out a bit and either crash or Lisa would go home with Leslie who lived just down the street. The next morning we get up and 1. All the lights are on in the house. 2. The spare room has everything ripped off the bed all the way down to the mattress.

Ok, in the spare room [that we just changed the sheets] we have a down mattress pad, fitted sheet, regular sheet and comforter – all that was stuffed into the washing machine along with a couple of towels. 3. There’s no way our washing machine could handle that large of a load and 4. What the hell?! Someone offers you a place to sober up for a while and you’re going to mess up their whole bedroom?! Not to mention 5. EWWWWWW!! F-ing GROSS!

SO – after discovering all this I really expected a text from Leslie saying, Hey sorry we messed up your room and all…..


I finally texted them both asking if they made it home ok and had the unfortunate reply back from Leslie, “Yes, all good. The bed covers need to be washed [Really? No shit!] didn’t want to leave them on the bed, put them into the washer. Lordy….”

Ok, waaaaaay even MORE information than I wanted to know. I didn’t answer.

So, later I get a “We’re going out on a date any ideas on a first date restaurant in Decatur?”

So, because you used my spare room for massive sex I’m suddenly the lesbian Dear Abby of dating advice, too?!


I had to bite my finger practically OFF to keep from writing – McDonalds drive thru – have fun!


But, I gave the same advice I give everyone for a first date – go dutch. That way there are no expectations and you know it’s mutual and not someone just using you to get a free dinner. Which, honestly, I thought that about Lisa because she happened to mention several times in her drunkenness that she gets around and that she’s been dating A LOT since she broke up with her last GF. I know Leslie doesn’t get around much and Lisa is probably the first women she’s been on a date with in three years. Then-

“Is there anything I need to know, that you know about her, heads up on anything important?”

Well, just that she’s a drunk slut but – YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT!

But, I wasn’t getting involved in that.

“She says she’s a bad girl, that’s ok too. We’ll play 20 questions at dinner, see if she thinks I’m too crazy to date.”

Oh, yeah maybe you should bring a Scattergories game, too. Yeah, Leslie you so crazy that a wild night for you is probably fermenting your tequila while you watch American Idol. You’re out of your element, girl, and you’re about to have a rude awakening. I just hope it goes your way, girl, I do.

I said, “Only what you saw I mean she got pretty wasted I don’t really know that much about her so go with your gut.”

“Thanks, Lanie was thinking that would be a good idea. And, I know she drank quite a bit. I’m more reserved with alcohol these days, getting older, wiser. I will keep you posted.

Please don’t. I don’t care. I’m going to send you a dry cleaning bill.

I thought I was done with it after that. Then yesterday I get a text from Lisa asking if she can swing by sometime this weekend and pick up the dish that she left. I wanted to say, No, I’m keeping it for trade of my dry cleaning bill.

I said I’d put it in the carport and prayed neither of us would be home when she stopped by because I really don’t want to hear about the date.

Then she wrote, “You doing alright? I have a date with Leslie tomorrow night. 🙂 “

“Yes, she told me.”

Again, I don’t care and I don’t want to know really and I feel the walls closing in on me on this whole, Can I stop by and pick up my dish from the party? 1. I don’t like people just stopping by and arbitrarily wasting my time. If people are coming over I need to plan for it.  I’m really OCD when it comes to shit like that. I think I get that from my father who would get out his shotgun every time the cable man came to the farm to try and sell him service.

I also got this from Angela who is an ex motorcycle instructor that always likes to talk my head off about how she’s quitting teaching (yes, we’ve all been saying that for 5 years now) and how she has a new job and is working on herself (I’ve heard this as long as I’ve known her – almost 11 years.) And, there’s nothing she can say that won’t exhaust me because she is just one of those people that can open their mouth for five minutes and  exhaust me and now she wants to come over to my house and trap me for two hours saying all this all over again just to get her lame-ass bowl?

“Hey, I’ll drop it by tomorrow night.” With the dogs in the car and the – Oh, I have to go the dogs are getting antsy.

“Also, can I have your blog address? I’d like to read your blog.”

How does she know about my blog? Yeah, I blew that one off. She’s not reading my blog.

So, in all this – am I being unreasonable about the spare room? Would you be all like EWWW, EWWW, EWWW!? And, do you have friends who you can only take in small doses?


super bowl aftermath

The Super Bowl party went off without a hitch. Initially, we had almost 40 people confirmed but it ended up being around 30 – still a crowd. We had scads of food and enough beer to sink a battleship (still do).

Alana’s group of friends showed up. (Since Alana and Meagan have moved to Idaho there is no party competition) CMW’s ex-friend, Yvonne showed up with her new girlfriend (The woman she played with at the coffee shop) and a smattering of other friends both from the motorcycle group and friends of friends. One weird couple that we’re not really friends with invited themselves. Some ex-pool buddies were here  – one hooked up with one of the motorcycle group ladies and messed up our spare room.

All in all it was a good time but the next day I was not happy. Next time we have a party, I’m taking off work the next day no matter what. The only reason I went in is because I had a meeting I couldn’t miss and in order to be able to attend my class all week I had to get with my boss about my projects. So, it was a give and take kind of thing.

I’ve been in a virtual class both this week and last week. It’s great! I can sit in my office at home in my sweatpants, still do my regular work and listen to the class on my iPad. The dogs have been lulled to sleep listening to this guy talk about project management requirements. On breaks I let them out, grab some coffee and look at email. I’m taking these classes all the way through June and then I’ll have a certification. I will then decide whether or not I want to sit for my PMP exam. I have mixed feelings about that as I’ve heard that exam is a bi-otch. I mean, if it were easy everyone would have it, right?

I’ve been off beer this week because I blew it out at Super Bowl. I’ve felt so fat lately so I decided that I want to get off of the beer and drinking during the week for a while. I’m just really fed up with myself and really need to lose some weight. I took the dogs on a really long walk yesterday – it was decent enough outside to do that. It was really nice. I took them on my 3 mile running route. I need to find another race to run so I can keep doing a race every month.