taking a break from it all

We got back from Florida and it was a very stressful trip. Part of this is my fault because of never taking the time to think through everything that would be involved in taking this trip and the stress involved. Really what we should have done was go to the coast and sit by a pool and if the kids wanted to come see us they could have just driven up. Hindsight is 20/20, I guess.

I came back to a mountain of work and having to go in for an interview on Tuesday. It went well and if they offer me this job I’m going to jump on it. It’s a smaller group and less projects to manage. More public relations which I feel I would be good at. Less stress, it seems.

Charlie and I haven’t been the only people under stress lately. It seems like our group is kind of imploding with stress. Ellen had her surgery last week and Stacy has been taking care of her. Ellen’s aunt flew in and is relieving Stacy while she goes to work. Then, Ellen’s Mom takes over in a few weeks. I have to say I’m somewhat jealous of the treatment she’s been getting in contrast to Charlie’s parents messaging us two days after her surgery that they were going to Mexico and wouldn’t be available for a week or so and that they would call when they got back. I am thankful to all our wonderful friends who have been there helping and caring for us and keeping us from nervous breakdowns. I honestly don’t know what I have would have done without them because I have realized recently that I am indeed not a mountain nor an island and capable of self supporting everything. I do relay on others for support – not only Charlie but friends as well.

Its’ hard being a caregiver. Period. Truth is – it’s been a lot to take on. Everything has been stressful so – I’m trying to check out for a little while. I’m really tired of worrying about everyone else and want to focus on myself for a little while and not worry about pissing someone off, disappointing someone, not being all, doing all that I should. I’m tired.

I started drum lessons with Yvonne the other day. She is exactly the type of teacher I need to do this. She has me working on sticking exercises, repetition and simple beats. I have homework and I told her that I need to have time to practice before I see her again so we made an appointment for two weeks. I’m going to try to practice once a day even if it’s for only 15 minutes.

I am trying to be better about walking the dogs. I skipped the beer last night and instead took them for a long walk. I have to cut back on alcohol and accept a healthier lifestyle. I’m really not happy about the weight I have gained and am not happy with myself. I have to improve. I signed Sadie and I up for a race on Saturday and am taking over Ellen’s Peachtree training on Saturday mornings so at least it will give me a reason to get going on Saturday mornings.

I still have a lot of work to do – and, I’m trying to compartment it all so it won’t seem so daunting. Charlie goes back to work tomorrow so that will be a nice break for her, too.

So, I’m probably going to take a break from this blog for a little while too. For how long, I don’t know – but I will be out there lurking on your blogs for sure.

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