all out – like a country mile


It’s day 4 of Hell week at Orangetheory and todays workout is Silence of the Limbs.

Yesterday, it was The Sixth SETS and we did sets of everything. Running, rowing, weights, abs – you name it. When I came in yesterday there were two ladies standing at the front counter. In fact, they were blocking my way to get my parking validation decal – why I noticed them. One in particular was very – ah – let’s say -FULL figured and the other was average.

The guy behind the counter was explaining the program and the workouts and the full figured one said, Ok, good so I jus need a couple-ah weeks of dis and I be back to my reg-lar shape.

I thought, So what’s that? Hourglass? Mini-beached whale? What?

I know, I’m so bad.

Before the workout began we were all standing outside of the workout room. We’re not allowed to go in there until it starts. Ben was in there showing the two newbies proper form. We were all looking at the clock and he was running over with them. One of the guys behind the counter went in there and signaled him that his time was up and that he needed to start class. It was a full class, too. Most everyone I’ve worked out with this week has wanted to get this whole hell week over as soon as possible. Finally, he came out and did his announcement:


Then, we high fived him on the way into the gym. I was assigned tread mill #2 and got on and immediately pressed start. The sooner you can get to the green on your heart monitor the better. The other group started on the rowing machines. We warmed up and then had to immediately switch by getting on the rowing machines while the other group moved to the weight floor. I rowed 1300 meters before my group was pulled off to go to the weight area. As I was doing the workout I noticed several times that Ben had to go over and assist the two newbies. I mean, they were some high maintenance chicks. Earlier, the average one next to me started to row and then acted like she didn’t know HOW to row. I just wanted to say, Just go with it, sister. But then I was like, None of your business, Lanie, you don’t work here.

I mean, how hard can it be to just m-f*cking row? After rowing we went to the weights and had to do six sets of various weights which ensued more coaching from Ben to the newbies. I mean, the guy almost couldn’t run his class because the two of them were constantly motioning him over to help with their weight form. I thought again, how hard is it to do a shoulder press – you raise the weight above your head and bring it down to your shoulder. There was even a video monitor that displayed the exercises and form.

By the time I got back on the treadmill my legs were rubbery. The treadmill paces are base pace, push pace and all out – what’s in the picture above. Your base should be a comfortable jog if you’re a runner or jogger – if you’re a walker then a 1-2% incline walk pace. The runners and joggers typically amp up the pace whereas the walkers amp up the incline when it’s time to go to a push pace or an all-out. Push pace means your heartrate is in the orange (like 84% – 89%) and you’re uncomfortable and can only say about 5 words at a time, like I’m at fat ass here, or I love myself, fat ass or I drink beer why I’m here, Oh that was six I’m going to pass out now.

All out is actual running no words just thoughts of I hope I don’t trip and fly off the back of this thing. My all out is usually between 6-7 rpm’s on the treads depending on how tired I am and yesterday I was really tired so I was at a 6.

So, once on the treadmill the larger of the newbies got on the one next to me. Ben is coaching to get into the base, get the heart rate into the green zone and get ready for push pace and into that orange zone as soon as possible. I’m at 4.5 base at a 1% incline, 78% green pushing orange and my neighbor is doing a slow walk, down a country road, stopping ever so often to pick flowers to sniff.

Next, Ben says, In 3, 2, 1 push pace, ORANGE! I amp it up to 5 and am doing a decent run. My neighbor – still ambling, that country mile.

We do 2 minutes of push pace before Ben says, In 15 seconds we’re going alllllllllllllouuuuuuut, I-want-you-to-empty-that-tank-I-want-there-tobe-noth-ing-left. In 3-2-1 -ALLLLLLLLLLLL OUUTTTTTTTT!

I go to 6 and am running a pretty decent clip considering I just did 90 squats earlier.

Neighbor-still country and hasn’t changed up that amble at all. It’s then that Ben comes over and I hear him say to her, Hey, I just wanted to know if you’re ok. I mean, you’re still walking when everyone else is at like a 6 or an 8% walking incline.

Defensively, the woman said, I’m at my personal best-tess here. I mean, I did 6 miles before I got here tonight and I’m just taking it easy I mean, I have to get up and go to work tomorrow.

That was the point where I had to grip the treadmill to keep from flying off the back. I wanted to say, I’ll bet you a bucket of Colonel Sanders that the only six miles you’ve ever seen is to the Krispy Kreme and back.

Fortunately, I couldn’t say that because I was going allllllllllllout (and that was more than 5 words). I only grunted like a laugh and held on.

After the workouts and wiping off the equipment we stood in a circle to stretch. I was next to, Suzie, one of my neighbors and said, That was a tough workout.

Yeah, I feel like I’m going to throw up. She said bending over and putting her head between her knees.

I moved a little further away.

Afterwards, walking out I saw both the newbies cross the street and walk towards Taco Mac – like a country mile.




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