pray for a calm of lake water friday chex mix

Charlie and I are getting ready to be full swing into the summer and all the activities that entails. For once, we’re not having a 4th party as it falls right in the middle of the friggin’ week and we’re invited over to our [new client] friends house for a celebration that day. It’s kind of a relief, to be honest. After the 4th Charlie’s heading out of town for a long weekend with the boys and I’m going to use the time to eat pizza practice my guitar(s).

Notice that was plural? I picked up a starter Fender and amp for a little over $100 from a guy on craigslist who never played it. Even though Emil said it was a “Mexican Fender” (I saw no Spanish notations on it so I wondered what she meant by that) I thought it would make a great little practice guitar and something we could keep around for music parties. I need to be able to sound something more than @ss by the time of our music party the 21st.

The 21st. Hence the title of this post. The music party needs to be a success but relatively calm. No nudity, no heated political talks, no arguments. None of that – I’m not going to tolerate it. We have two couples coming that are our business clients so we cannot make a bad impression. (If I still sound like @ss by then I’m not playing) This kicks off hopefully a series of music parties we’ll have in the future if it’s not a bust. We have Val in town for the party, Emil is going to play and hopefully a few others. I have a lot of work to do before now and then.

Speaking of concerts – Emil got us table seats for Emily Saliers who is playing at Edie’s August 10th. This will be an awesome show as it’s a very small venue and I’m sure it will be sold out. (Indigo girl fans eat your hearts out) I remember the first time I met her I had just moved to Atlanta and was working at this bar and a bunch of us from the bar went out one night. We were at this place in Decatur and after getting beers,  I sat down at a table with my friends I was there with and someone introduced me to this woman named Emily. I said Hi, nice to meet you and didn’t think anything of it until she later said, Hey, I have to perform now and got up from the table, grabbed a guitar and headed for this little makeshift stage across the bar. I said to my friend, Is she THE Emily from the Indigo girls? My friend said, Yep, and I about fell out of my chair. I ran into Emily a few more times later (at a running race as we were running, and I carded her once at the bar I worked) but this was the most memorial story.  I’ve seen the band play several times – including twice at an outdoor venue that rained both times but, I’ve never seen her on her own.

That’s about all I got right now. Happy Friday and the 4th and be safe!

 

 

no acknowledgment

You know, I’m glad it’s over – the mother’s and father’s day weekends. Leading up to the former I would cringe hearing the commercials of “Do something special for Mom this year….” I have a stepmother that I barely acknowledge – I sent her a card with a gift certificate to homophobe central Cracker Barrel. But, it’s a hollow acknowledgment. It’s only because I feel sorry for her for being stupid enough to marry our father and put up with his shit. Ever since our mother died I have felt I have no more parents.

This last weekend I grudgingly sent our father a card and signed my new name. I know he hates it when I do that. For years he and my step mother would make out checks to my old name and I’d have to sign the check over to my new name. They would fail to acknowledge that I had changed my first and last name. I no longer wanted to carry his name as my last name so I changed it to my mother’s maiden name. I did this over a decade ago and it’s just recently they finally acknowledge my real name.  I really didn’t even want to send him a card to be honest. I told my sister that he’s lucky he’s even getting a card this year. (And, you know it’s a real challenge finding dysfunctional father’s day cards. Why can’t there be more cards that say, You were a shitty father and here’s your damn card you can stick up your @ss.)

She was having both him and our step mother over for father’s day dinner. She gets treated even worse by him but she still goes to all the trouble to meet them for lunch the other day and host a lunch for him. I called our step mother yesterday after the dinner – I had felt guilty that I didn’t call to wish him a happy father’s day. She had told me that he was already in bed asleep that when he eats lunch he just goes straight to bed afterwards and sleeps the rest of the day. (They guy is 78 going on 95) I told her to tell him I called whenever he wakes up. As I was talking to her my sister was trying to call me so after hanging up I called her back.

She told me the minute they got to her house they sat down and started eating without any conversation whatsoever. She had a few other guests present as well so I’m sure it must have seemed very awkward. Then, the minute they finished eating they got up and our father told her they were leaving. She asked if they’d stay 10 more minutes so he could open his card and he said no they were leaving now. She went and got his card and gave it to him and said, See ya, and they left.

I wasn’t surprised by the rudeness of his visit. He’s always treated her like a lowly piece of shit. Ever since after running away for the third time and him catching her and beating the shit out of her he’s treated her like that. I told her on the phone that I don’t know why she still does it – that she needs to stop. No more dinners, no more anything. She said she thought she was done. I told her she needed to be. Then, she said she didn’t know what she was going to do about his birthday. I said, SEND HIM A CARD AND BE DONE WITH IT.

Honestly, I wouldn’t even acknowledge it if I were her. I wonder why I do?

His birthday is near mine. I’ll never forget the time she concocted some scheme for me to come home and surprise him with a double birthday party she was hosting. My plane no more touched down in Indianapolis when she told me that when she told him I came up to surprise him and that she was having a party for us he said that he wouldn’t be around all weekend that he had a thing at church and he was too busy. We had a party anyway but really no one in our family really cares about anyone or anything – except eating. Usually, if there’s food they will come. All the people in our family that gave a shit are already dead. Our mother, our grandparents on our mother’s side – they’re the only people who cared. Our father’s side is just filled with people who don’t care about anyone.

And, they wonder why I don’t ever come home. Why should I? I’ve learned to move on long ago. I talk to our father three times a year – father’s day, his birthday and Christmas. I don’t really care and I admit my sister can be very difficult at times, too. She has a little of our father’s meanness in her but despite that it makes me really angry that he treated her that way. Maybe I should just stop acknowledging his birthday and calling at Christmas. I think I will say something to our step mother the next time I talk to her. I am so sick and tired of people letting their partners, husbands, wives, significant others walk all over them. They are enablers, sure. I am sick and tired of enablers. Enablers are just as bad as the people that do the acts. Because they are too weak to step up and tell people that they’re doing wrong or being @ssholes.

I’m so done with certain people. My sister’s dinner party almost contrasts the dinner party that we had that went south a few weeks ago. I am so done with them, too. Since there was no apology or acknowledgement of what happened that night it makes me not want to even acknowledge the next invitation that will not arrive in their mail. Fuck doing things with them anymore if I always have to worry about Dino being an @ss. Why should I waste the time and energy cooking a meal, buying booze, setting a table and buying desert when she’s just going to ruin it and be disrespectful. Why should I even try? And, if I do bring it up and acknowledge it guess who’s going to be the bad guy – ME.

The new clients that we recently got from the bad review on the neighborhood Nextdoor invited us over for dinner last night. It’s such a luxury to be invited somewhere for once as we ALWAYS entertain and send out the invites. We hit it off and later driving home Charlie said, I hope they like us.

What’s not to like?

I don’t know. I just hope they don’t think we’re crazy.

After all this, why would anyone think we’re crazy? Because we’re normal?

 

 

 

the weekend

Friday evening Link and Stiletto met us down at a Elmyriachi for dinner and then we moved on to darts at a pub in downtown Decatur. This place just happens to be located right next to Benjis apartment and she ended up meeting us down there. We had a fun and pretty late evening and the next morning I was feeling it. We were to meet up with Benji and Emil to go to Tunes in the Tomb. After much freaking planning, we picked up Benji and drove down there and miraculously found free parking on the street. The event had three stages with different performers but honestly, we mostly stood around drinking beer and talking. The one highlight was as we were walking around (trying to find a beer tent that would give me a free PBR sweatband) we heard this group of drummers play Taiko which ultimately led to me and Charlie signing up for an 8-week course.

We eventually decided to blow the Tunes taco stand and head for a real taco stand, Mezcalito’s, next door. Emil had been whining wanting to go there for some time to eat with us so we did. After dinner, Charlie and I Lyft’d it back to the house while Benji and Emil went on to see another concert at the City Winery.

Sunday, we smoked ribs and corn in our new smoker and had Emil over for dinner and to play her guitar. Since we had Benji’s dog, Squid, she ended up coming for dinner as well. Between the two of them, though, they had their faces into their cellphones comparing Tinder dates. I had to shut it down after a while saying, Ok, let’s put the cell phones away and have a conversation like adults. Geez, I felt like such a parent but sometimes it’s really annoying. (Single friends should just leave their Tinder dating app at home.)

I’ve been teaching myself a few chords on the guitar so (according to Emil) I can play along with her the next time she’s over. I learned A, D & E so far (A is a bi-otch, btw). We’re trying to get some concerts going in our backyard but we’ll see. I have a feeling it’s going to be an impromptu show with little planning that just happened. Val is coming down from Maine in July and I’m really hoping between her, Emil and LB we can get something going. Link has already said she’d supply the microphones and between all of us surely we can find an amplifier. Maybe I’ll know FIVE chords by then, who knows.

 

 

 

 

Friday chex mix

Music

Monday evening Charlie and I met Benji out to hear our friend, LB play in an open mic contest at Edie’s. LB’s girl was in town visiting from Virginia and she had already texted me to see if we were coming. So, it was an interesting evening. Not as interesting as the previous Saturday but interesting. Aside from LB and about two others who were fabulous the rest I could take or leave, but, hey what do I know? I’m sure it takes guts to get up there and play. The people working the show didn’t seem on it, though. There was a problem with a cord and several, Can you turn this microphone on? No, not that one. Test, test, test…….

I was like what if the next John Mayer is up here and it’s all messed up? (Seriously, he was one of their past shootout winners) Every Monday they have this open mic contest and the winners all get into the main competition called a Shootout. I think they only have shootouts once a year and it’s considered a big deal. The shootout happens to be this Saturday night but we won’t be there as we have tickets to a concert series at Oakland Cemetery called Tunes in the Tombs. This is the first time they’ve put something like this on and I’m looking forward to it.   Benji, Emil, Charlie and I are going and hopefully it won’t be too hot that we will burn up.

Workout

I’m still going to OrangeTheory a couple of times a week and trying not to kill myself. In between, I’ve been running. I’m really on this weight-loss kick. All I want for my birthday is to wear the clothes that I’ve been missing – my ripped up Abercrombie camo cargos, faded and broken in chinos, my button fly jeans and all those cute little cowboy shirts that I still have hanging in my closet that I refuse to throw away because I still want them. I don’t dare weigh myself I want to just feel it in my waistline. I’ve been working out every day this week and haven’t taken one day off. I do maintenance on my knee every evening icing it and taking some ibuprophen but it feels better than ever doing this daily thing. In between, I’ve been trying to stay on the Paleo as much as possible and cutting down on the beer- I’ll only touch a Bud 55 now.

Travel

Southwest was having a sale on flights and I got Charlie and I tickets to Colorado for less than $400. I was alerted this by my sister who said I could book a flight to Indy for my birthday and she’d pay me back. I’m gonna tell her that I don’t want to go up there for my birthday. I don’t want to go up there period, birthday or not. For my birthday this year (which, is a big FIVE-OH) Charlie and I are going to Savannah and staying out on Tybee. The trip and pet sitter(s) are already booked. The week prior to that we’re driving up to Asheville to see our friends Liz and Lina who we haven’t seen in AGES! The last two times we were supposed to see them I caught on fire and we couldn’t get a pet sitter things came up where we couldn’t go.  We’re staying at an Airbnb owned by a friend of Benji’s.

Business

Remember that stone path that Charlie put in for a client that didn’t want to pay us? Well, a month later we had planned to plant some shrubs in the back and do a cleanup for her daughter’s wedding. We had this on the calendar to do after March. So, I had to chase this woman down to ask her what kind of Camellia she wanted planted in the back (there are literally thousands of varieties of these things). I sent her half a dozen pics and she finally chose the one that had the pinkest flower. Long story short, Charlie did all the work and afterwards the woman, again, blew us off for a couple of days before paying us and then said that Charlie needed to come over and trim these boxwoods (that she never said needed trimming). So, Charlie made and additional trip over there to trim them. Well, you know boxwoods have tiny, tiny leaves. So, after trimming those (with scissors) she blew off the back patio. Later, I get an email from this lady screaming about her leaving leaves all over her precious patio. We had already decided that this client was getting too abusive to deal with and that after the planting we were done with her. We were trying to find a way to disengage without her being all nasty about it. I sent her an email back apologizing for the mistake and pointing out ALL THE OTHER work we had done on the job. Two weeks later this lady emails wanting to know where Charlie is and when she’s coming to do maintenance. I wrote back and said Charlie was out of state taking care of her father who was very sick, didn’t know when she’d be back and suggested she find someone else to do maintenance over there. No reply of “I’m sorry Charlie’s Dad is ill…” nothing.

Weeks later it happens. She puts this nasty post on our neighborhood Nextdoor complaining about how we just disappeared after doing a terrible job on her walk, posting a picture. She accused us of doing the planting job (that we had to chase her down about) late and at the last minute. She called us unprofessional and even petulant. (We had to go look that word up) I got on there and wrote a very professional reply to her scathing comment but then flagged her comment as abusive to the manager of the site. Basically, he took it down saying she violated the Nextdoor rules calling us names. He told her to revise her post and take out the name calling and repost. Well, she tried to repost the SAME post calling us names and I flagged it again and wrote the administrator asking him if she could be kicked off this thing because this was TWICE she’d posted insults to us.

Meanwhile, despite taking her post down everyone who subscribes to Nextdoor got an email with her original comment and my reply. On the upside, we just got a new client this week because she looked at the photograph of that stone path that Charlie built and said, I want that path! So, on the upside her negative comment got us even more exposure and we got a new client out of the deal.

So, that’s my Friday chex mix in a nutshell. Everyone have a great weekend and cheers!

180s

keep your shirt on

Aye-yi-yi.

What a weekend. I have so much to tell y’all so grab another cup of coffee, black tea or your drink of choice – preferably not honey Evan Williams mixed with Jack because we all learned on Saturday that that’s a dangerous combination. One that would make –

-well, I’m getting too far ahead of myself.

I’m going to flash back to another time about Dino and Martha. You all know that Dino always gets under my skin when we’re all hanging out. When she’s drunk she’s either spouting off about something or grabbing Charlie and touching her inappropriately.

The last time we were all out at a bar in Little 5 points watching Rooster and Shutters band with our friend, Drewberry. Soon as the drink flowed and they started playing Dino came over and grabbed Charlie and started dancing and fondling her. I’ve pretty much stayed back thinking either Charlie or even Martha would intervene and say, Hey, hey – stop. Because, honestly if I intervene there’s going to be a fight and a scene.

So, after prying herself away from Dino and coming back over to Drew and I hanging in the corner rolling her eyes we thought it had stopped until Dino passed by grabbing her butt on the way to the little girls room (Yes, Dino is a women but I named her this pseudo name because I picture her to be some tacky, redneck guy).

We were shaking our heads like, Unbelievable.  I even said loudly in front of Martha that it was such a drag Dino grabbing Charlie all the time and grabbing her @ss. Did Martha do anything about that? No. Which, is SO typical of her. I have to tell you that I’m sooooo tired of it. This is the reason I haven’t invited them over, too. But, last week Charlie suggested that we have them over for dinner. I told her I’d only have them over if Link and Stiletto came, too, because I couldn’t deal with Dino on my own. So, it was a plan. Charlie made a fabulous lasagna, I picked up a couple of mini cakes because we were celebrating Martha’s belated birthday.

Martha and Dino showed first and when Martha handed me a six pack of craft beer to put in the beer cooler I knew this was a little short for Dino. Normally, Dino brings a bottle of Wild Turkey (because they know we don’t keep that rot gut in our cabinet) and a case of Rolling Rock. I asked Dino what I could get her and she said that honey Evan Williams and Jack Daniels would do. (I almost threw up in my mouth, to be honest) Glad to get rid of the honey rot gut out of the cabinet I freely poured and put a large ice cube into a tumbler for her.

Flash forward to the evening. We had a great time hanging out and having dinner. I actually thought for once that things were going OK. Aside from the little safety debate between Link and Dino (which, they get into every time they are together and I think it’s a total drag) things were running smoothly.  Until Link suggested we go out to the shed and throw some darts. Link and Stiletto had just got a couple sets of darts and were on fire to use them. It had the makings of a great night, really. We had the baseball game on out in the shed, music playing, we were dancing around laughing and having a great time until-

– Dino decides to take off her shirt and get completely naked from the waist up. (And, believe me – it was not a pretty sight). I tried seriously to act like it was no big deal because I think all Dino wants is me to lose it on her and have me deck her. (I was seriously considering it, too.) But, it was Martha’s birthday and honestly, I felt sorry for her. And, Dino did all the things that Dino does drunk – grabbed Charlie from behind and was trying to rub her breasts all over her back and dance. It was so obnoxious. Poor Stiletto looked mortified – she kept taking the birdies off her darts and switching them to the other set of darts saying they weren’t right. I was thinking we had to end this game quickly or else things were going to go south very quickly. Finally, Charlie hit a bulls eye and we closed up shop. I had already talked to Martha about sending the rest of the lasagna home with her and Dino and ran inside to get everything for them to take home. I instructed Link to help carry everything to the car as I was packing up the cakes and rosemary bread to send home with them, too.

And, do you think that freaking Dino could put on her shirt to walk to the car? No. We were carrying things out and here she comes walking down to the driveway saying loudly, I take off my shirt just about anywhere don’t I, honey?

At that point I’m PRAYING that the old ladies across the street aren’t looking out their windows. Plus, pervert Richard next door (who I’m sure saw it all). Then, I’m praying that the neighborhood cops that commonly cruise the neighborhood at night don’t drive by. I’m picturing tickets, blue lights and warnings as we’re packing the car and thinking, Get the hell out of here.

The next day, Charlie and I were still shaking our heads over it. We made plans with Link and Stiletto to go see Wonder Woman (fabulous, btw) and have dinner afterwards. Well, I’m sure Dino and Martha’s ears were on fire because once we all sat down together we were like, What the f*ck was that last night?!!!

Apparently, Dino has done the dancing and fondling thing with both of them, too. The only difference is the two of them have put Dino in her place. But, we all agreed something has to be done now. Link has volunteered to have a discussion with Martha about it. We all agreed that they are alienating themselves from all of Martha’s friends because everyone thinks Dino’s so obnoxious when she’s drinking – no one wants to be around them anymore and after last Saturday I’m about to wash my hands, too. We all agreed if we were at their house then Dino could do whatever she wants – and I agreed. If we were over there and the shirt came off I’d be like, Time to go, honey – BYE! But, the fact that it was at our house for a dinner party that we were hosting came off as being so disrespectful.

If there is a next time we hang out with them and Dino does her same shit I’m putting her in her place. I think we’ve all had it with her and Martha not doing anything about it. So, in short – I feel like the night was ruined. I was disappointed and felt bad for Martha for about a minute until I realized that she just keeps letting this go on and on.