we’re back

I bet you didn’t even know we were gone, did you?

We took off for Colorado last week for a mini vaca from Thursday to Tuesday. We first flew to Denver and spent the first night there in a little Airbnb relatively close to downtown. We landed insanely early in the morning and had to stash our bags at the place before heading out to walk around. We walked for -it seemed- forever until we finally made it to Colfax Avenue. It seemed this wasn’t the “in” part of Colfax either but we walked past a few “interesting” stores we wanted to check out and finally ended up at Illegal Petes – drinking a beer at 10:15 in the morning – Denver time – since we’re from the ATL and it was after noon THERE we felt it appropriate. Plus, as I noticed several fellow alcoholics  others were drinking before noon as well.  After that, we were done walking for awhile and decided to take Lyfts around town to look at stuff and check out a few other breweries. We met up with a fellow blogger, Aussa Lorens at Great Divide Brewing Company who I’d not met before, and, I might add is just as hilarious as her blog.

Afterwards, we went to Epic Brewing Company where the atmosphere was nice and the beers very hoppy. (I honestly thought at one point there was something herbaceous in my beer it was so hoppy.)

The next day we packed up and headed west towards Breckenridge. I heard a lot of good things about the town and the slopes – mind you we weren’t skiing unless we took a temporarily leave of our senses which was all possible while on vacation but I just wanted to check out the town. On the way we passed a small town (when I say small I mean like population 20) that was situated around this lake where everyone was fishing and catching trout. I kicked myself majorly for not hauling all my fly fishing junk out there to fish.

We reluctantly got on the road after watching some people catch one trout after another and headed towards the town of Dillon. It was a quaint little town – maybe a bit bigger than population 20 but you could certainly walk from one end of it to another in about 20 minutes. We had a beer at the Dillon Dam Brewery and then headed out.

We pulled into Breckenridge and parked on the street and walked around for a bit. I was trying to find us a place to stay on my phone but everything I pulled up was well over $100. We wandered into a realty agency to see if they had any affordable rentals and the cheapest they could come up with was over $200. They said we’d better book fast because there were going to be a lot of people in town that weekend and that we should even make a dinner reservation because the places would be crowded. I was like, Next, and suggested we head on down the road to the town of Frisco and check that out. It seemed quaint and cute. Maybe we could stay there.

In Frisco we drove up to this motel that had a fan in every window. I got out and went into the office and asked this dude who looked like he’d partaken in too much of the local weed. He showed me a room that the bedspread looked like it hadn’t been changed since the early 70’s. Next. I got back into the van and told Charlie to drive me to the next inn. Which was a bed and breakfast.

Ok, for any of you that have read my blog and former blogs YOU KNOW how I feel about BnB’s. There’s always some weird people that run those places that love to get into your business and the whole eating breakfast together with strangers I can’t really do. I don’t do well socially in the mornings before I’ve had my coffee. In fact, it is coffee that has kept me out of JAIL a lot of trouble. But, for the sake of our trip and needing a place to stay I was willing to forgo my personal feelings. I went inside and rang the bell. (This was the third place I had to ring a bell – I guess no one sits at a front desk anymore?) and this lady came out and I asked her if she had any vacancies. She said she did and could show me a lovely (she said) room with two double beds.

Ok, I let it go that she just assumed that I wasn’t there with my wife and maybe I would have wanted a king sized bed because, yes, it is the 21st century. The lady took me up a very steep stairway explaining that it was the original stairs from the……then, it all sounded like blah, blah, blah in my head. I don’t want a history lesson when I’m looking at a place to lay my head. She showed me a room with steel beds covered in old quilts, dark curtains and little house on the prairie-ish pictures on the walls. Then, as we went back downstairs she pointed to the dinning room and said that they would be having pancakes in the morning and I thought about that for one second and Goodnight John-boy sounded in my head and then thought, Next. 

I got back into the rental van and Charlie asked if that place was ok and I said, If we’re playing Laura and Mary on Little House on the freaking-Prairie it is. Let’s go over there, I said, pointing across the street to the Frisco Hotel. It had a lodge feel with a great room and a fireplace. Subdued lighting and Kurt Cobain’s younger son manning the front desk. I made him show me a room and he took me upstairs to another great room that had leather couches and a bookshelf next to a room with hardwood floors, a mini bar and deck. Ah, we were home for the next two days. I handed him my credit card and said that would do. Aside from our Airbnb this place was the bomb!

After checking in and walking around town we settled on a place for dinner that had a jazz band playing. The food and music turned out to be an excellent choice for the evening. The next day we woke up to snow on the ground and the place was just beautiful. After coffee and finding breakfast at a cafe’ across the street we decided to go on a snowy hike on a trail just at the edge of the little town. The trail took us to a lake named Rainbow lake (of all places).

We talked to several people on the trails – especially, those who had dogs. It seemed that everyone had a dog there and it was fun. We saw one lab actually get into the lake and swim out to get a stick and wondered if he would get hypothermia. His owners didn’t seem to be concerned. I thought about our dogs and they would probably have had on fleece lined jackets with booties on their paws. After Frisco we headed south making our way to Colorado Springs. On the way we stopped off and played at the Garden of the Gods.

It seemed like we went from a winter wonderland to the desert in one day. The climate was really messing with us. When we first arrived in Denver it was actually warmer there than Atlanta. The first day in Frisco we were walking around with just long sleeved shirts on, then snow and coats, then long sleeved shirts and then even just t-shirts. After the G of the G we pulled into Colorado Springs. We left the van parked on a street downtown and headed for this brewery named Phantom Canyon Brewery  which turned out to be fun and we were just in time to watch some football. It was happy hour and all their house brews were $3 and free pool and darts. We shot pool and watched a few games and then decided that since an old college buddy of mine wasn’t going to meet up with us we’d ditch town. Honestly, it was our least favorite part of Colorado. Aside from the brewery there didn’t seem to be one thing to hold our interest long enough to stay there. It even seemed like a depressing little town. We decided to get back in the van and drive straight through Denver to Boulder where neither of us had been before.

Once in Boulder we went though the whole hotel thing again. We finally found a decent room overlooking the college and decided to go out and get something to eat and watch the Falcons. We ended up at  Dark Horse Bar and Grill and what a blast that place was. We ended up sitting at the end of the bar next to four other people who worked at the bar and had just gotten off work. It was two guys and a male and female couple. One of the guys was doing an Irish car bomb with pumpkin beer and we commented on that and the other guy said he was going to go get us a real Irish car bomb with Stout because they didn’t have any on draft behind the bar. He hopped up and later came back with just that. We had already done a shot of Jameson by then and the car bombs went down nicely. Later, we went to order food and the guys talked us into trying a burger that apparently the place is famous for – the Jiffy Burger which had a layer of peanut butter. They talked us into it and it was pretty good. I knew I would like it because there was a bar near Purdue that had the same type of burger that I always had.

The next day we decided to go on a hike before heading back to Denver for our last night. We drove out to a trail on the edge of town and easily found a trail that led to the top of this mountain. We could have done more hiking in Boulder and explored it more but I don’t regret anything we did on the trip.

     

By the time we got back to Denver about all we were up for was some warm Pho and bed at the Airbnb. We were both ready to come home despite loving Frisco and Boulder. Here is a pic of our lovely Airbnb host, Chloe.

 

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weekend recap

Whew.

It was a very eventful weekend. Not only was it PRIDE weekend it was also The Porchfest in Oakhurst on Saturday.

Ralph and Bernice came in on Friday and it was a party from there. Charlie and I had gone out to a local brewery with the guys Derrick and Andrew as both their wives were out of town for a mutual friend’s bday and they met us down there when they rolled into town. Everything from there is pretty much a blur.

Saturday, Charlie and I rode our motorcycles over to the Porchfest to listen to Emil play with a band and then Rooster and Shutters band. We saw LB, Benjii and of course, Emil, Rooster and Shutter and so other various friends. It was very fun – I wish they had more of these things because there’s never enough time to get to very many bands in the neighborhood because it’s SO big.

After that, we were supposed to go to a pride party at a friend of ours but we bailed and ended up going out for oysters and then dancing at this gay bar named Mary’s in east Atlanta. While we’ve been there previously and had a great time I never noticed the bartenders being women-hating assholes until that night. The bar is mostly men but that night were quite a few women being pride and all. I had gotten a drink previously from the bartender at the end of the bar who mixed me up this fruity concoction called a Kamikaze. When I returned to get another I just chose a spot at the bar that was available to edge in to order. I didn’t realize that I wasn’t in my previous bartenders section so when another bartender came up and asked me what he could get me I said, The bartender over there made me this fruity concoction called a Kamikaze. He then yelled at me saying, Why don’t you just go over there then? And turned away.

I was still standing there in shock – I mean, I think my mouth was hanging open. He turned back to me and took my empty cup and said, Go on now.

I was so angry with this guy but I let it go because he seemed like the type that would jump over the bar and slit my throat. I tamped down my temper and went over to my original bartender and ordered my drink after standing in yet another line. When he got me my drink I asked for the name of that other bartender and he said his name was Eric (which, I don’t believe). I told him what happened and said that was highly inappropriate and uncalled for and then asked him his name and he said Jason.

I got back to Charlie and she said, What’s wrong? And I told her. She left and went right up to Jason and gave him and earful of that not being appropriate and asked for the name of the manager who he said was Matt (not sure I believe that, either). After that, I didn’t want that asshole to ruin our evening and we just partied on but I noticed he was yelling at other customers as well and thought how ridiculous that was.

I later read several reviews from other women that have been harassed by that same bartender (who was called “Marky”) and obviously they aren’t doing a thing about it. I messaged the bar via Facebook and Twitter and their personal website page but I haven’t heard anything back. Obviously, harassment towards women and customer service are something they are ignoring. I will never be back there.

All in all it was a good weekend and I won’t let that bad experience ruin it BUT, if I don’t hear back from that bar I’m taking it all to social media and letting the world know that women aren’t safe at that bar.

This week we’re getting ready for vacation so I’m hoping for low-key until we leave. I can’t wait to get out of here for a while and breathe some different air.

 

ghosting the past

I know I have been writing a lot about pod casts lately but some of the topics make me really think about things I want to write about. Usually, I listen to these when I’m going for a walk. In fact, they kind of spur me to walk more because I look forward to listening to them. I cannot seem to listen to them while I’m at work because I can’t concentrate on my work and listen to what they are saying – sometimes even when I’m walking when I’m listening to something that makes me think I take off with my own thoughts and have to rewind the podcast to hear what they said because I drift off.

One of the topics that has stuck with me is ghosting. We all have been ghosted at one time or another and probably have ghosted someone else. I know I have probably written about this previously but I was ghosted by two of my good friends who I share a tattoo with and the other two friends with the tattoo I have ghosted (there are five of us altogether who share this tattoo). Sometimes I wonder if this tattoo was a curse to us. Maybe we shouldn’t have gone all-in to be marked for life with the same tattoo.  Other times I think that it’s just a way of life -having friendships come and go like the ebb and flow of the ocean. I’ve come to grips with it and am completely ok with it.

I believe that friendships fit into three categories.

  1. The besties you see or speak to every week or sometimes even more than once a week: These are a rarity for Charlie and I. We only have a few who we see every week and it’s kind of works out the way it does because if we had more then we wouldn’t have any time to ourselves.
  2. The once a month kind of friendships – the ones you may say, Hey haven’t seen you in a week, month, a few months since that ho left you – you meet for a drink or dinner.
  3. The ones you maintain a distance relationship with who you only really converse with on social media. Maybe you’ll travel every once in a blue moon to see but you remain distant friends.

And, everyone outside of that is really not a friend. They’re just someone you run in to at a bar or concert or restaurant and you exchange pleasantries of “We really do need to get together soon.” When both parties are thinking, Yeah no.

I believe someone can only have so many close friends in this life or else it gets crowded. I also believe people outgrow friendships, they move on or the time to spend with them takes a lower priority than the ones who currently are your besties or they piss you off.

I’ve lived on the same street since ’97 and have been friends with another lesbian couple three houses down. They have only been here a year longer than myself. They have both been through some health problems over the years but they are both doing well now. I used to take them lasagna’s when one of them was ill and there were times I got the mail for them. Charlie and I were always asking them down for a beer, over to dinner and even to the parties we’ve thrown – to no avail. They never hardly ever took us up on it – to a point where I was starting to think that there was something they didn’t like about us or our house or something. They always said no. It was a while back that I needed a ride to the train station – which, is less than 3 miles from both of our houses. I asked one of them if they could give me a ride to the station – this was the one who has her own business and is not tied to an 8-5 schedule. Before I could even tell her what time  or day I needed to go she said, Oh I don’t think so. I know I’ll be busy.

I was hurt by that and thought after all the lasagnas I’ve made for them when they weren’t feeling well and taking them all my Good Housekeeping magazines she won’t even give me a ride to the train? I mean, I think I almost cried.

Flash forward, they are one of our landscape clients and Charlie always gets roped into doing extra things for them like getting their mail when they go out of town and making sure if any packages that are left she gets them so no one will steal them. I told her that she shouldn’t do anything extra for them that I was done after that train station incident. She said that she was going to test them and ask if they could get our mail while we’re out of town next week just to see what she says since just recently she not only hauled their mail down to our house but also all their Amazon boxes as well. (Strangely, when Charlie said it would be easier if she had a key to their house and leave all that stuff there the woman acted all weird about it and changed the subject)

Don’t count on her saying yes, I said.

I just want to see what she says.

I guess the moral to this story is to just do stuff for people and not expect anything in return. Maybe I just need to get my head in that space and not expect anything of people. Even so – she’s pretty much off my #2 list.

Then, there’s the ones who are taking a different path – away from the friendship. Whether it’s a life changing thing, a new relationship, or a lifestyle change the ghosting may be mutual. Sometimes we’re just all in different places. I had heard that one of the “Toads” I share a tattoo with had hers removed. I find this ironic because she was one of the ones who always tried to get us all back together. I look down at mine in the traditional Chinese style on my ankle and think, this was just a phase of my life. Part of my past. I will not erase it. You can’t change history but only the future. 

trying to stay positive

It’s really hard to write about positive stuff when everything that is happening in the world right now is so devastating. That’s a big reason why I haven’t written lately because I don’t have a lot of positive to say. It’s an effort, believe me. But, as I look around I realize how lucky I am that none of this devastation has affected me or my immediate family so that’s a positive note and my heart hurts for those who haven’t been so lucky. So, I will post just random positive stuff for now.

As you know from former posts that I’ve gotten into listening to pod casts lately. My sister showed me a couple that she listens to and The Moth is one of them. The last time I was home she looked them up online to show me and said that they have live shows that you can tell your stories. Well, last night that’s where I was – at Dad’s Garage telling a story based on something creepy and scary. I had Charlie, Link and Stiletto there to cheer me on. I wasn’t as nervous as I thought I would be standing up in front of a large audience – I’ve done this previously but it’s been awhile. But, my scores at the end weren’t what I’d hoped for. See, they choose 4 person teams from the audience to act as a judging panel and they judge your story based on a few guidelines they are given. Plus, your story can only be 5 minutes in length. They will ding a triangle when it’s time for you to wrap it up and from there you only have 1 minute to seriously wrap it up or else you get the harmonica. I made a mental note that if I was chosen to give my story that I would not get the harmonica.

So, my story was about a time I was arrested along with several of my friends on a dilapidated train trestle over the Wabash River. This particular trestle was haunted and named “Purple Head”. Folklore was that a man tried to hang himself from the trestle and was decapitated and if you went out there on a full moon you could see a purple head rising out of the water. Well my story was when I thought I saw the head it was only a police spotlight telling me to get off the bridge and that we were under arrest. Long story made very short I put in a few humorous notes before immediately wrapping it up once I heard the DING.

So, I was a bit disappointed of my scores – I thought I did well compared to the guy who told about his brother sexting chickens and ran so long he got the harmonica and the woman who told some very uncomfortable story about her brothers friend molesting her – harmonica again. AND, the woman who told a quick 2 minute story of some man whistling in her yard when he turned out to be this man who lived in her town who had Alzheimer’s (I mean, why did she not know this if she’s lived in this small town her whole life??) Regardless, the points are moot, I guess, although the next time I will hone my story and polish it before stepping up on stage for another story slam. It was a good opportunity and I’m glad I did it. I still can’t watch the video that Charlie covertly took of me on stage yet. I’d be like, I sound so dumb. God, this is terrible – no wonder I only got a 7.6 from that one group.

We are our own worst critic, aren’t we?

In two weeks we leave for vacation in Colorado. Other than our flight arrangements we really don’t have an agenda that we are sticking to. We hope to meet up with a fav blogger and a college buddy of mine. Other than that it will be some brewery tours, sightseeing and hopefully maybe even some live music although, I’m not so sure of Red Rocks after reading this post.

This year is flying by and before we know it – 2018. In the New Year I am starting back to college and hopefully a new role. More about that later.

Take care and stay loose, as an old graphic designer prof of mine used to say.