Sometimes I feel like I am too gullible in my old age. I always seem to think the best of people until I’m smacked in the face with reality. Those who know me may think otherwise as I can be a bit sarcastic. Even so, I’ve recently been going over in my mind of what happened with my friend who committed suicide last year.
Last year was such a fucker. I lost my step mother and my friend committed suicide. As I’m sure a lot of people that have had someone they know commit suicide they are left wondering what the hell happened. I think back to all the times I hung out with this friend of mine – it was quite a bit back in the early 2000’s. I wonder what it was that went wrong. She was a pharmacy rep so I always wondered if that gave her access to drugs. One of the last conversations we’d had she said she was diagnosed with narcolepsy. I really have no inkling at to what that involves to this day. I wondered if it was just a cover up to a real addiction such as oxy. These are questions that I will never know the answer to so I tell myself it doesn’t matter. Stop wasting time thinking about it because you will never know.
Then, fast forward. The other day I was working on a lab for my security class. It wanted you to do a series of web searches on yourself to see if you existed on the web. Not wanting to type in my own name I typed in an ex of mine and, voila, a mug shot came up. I was shocked. Here all these years I’d assumed she would be some English or Political Science professor all in tweed at a progressive university somewhere with a pencil stuck in her bun.
Man, was I wrong. I copied/pasted the link and sent it to a friend of mine who we went to school with saying WTF?? I haven’t heard back from her yet – she’s in Cali maybe dealing with fires and probably this is the last thing she’d be concerned with is checking her FB messages. All the same, how could I be so stupid? That time at college we were dating she was a huge cokehead and lying was practically a minor. She eventually started seeing another ex of mine and last I heard they moved out to California together. At the time, I had just accepted an internship in Atlanta and thankfully they were gone by the time I got back to graduate. I don’t know why I should be surprised.
Speaking of the loserville past, the independent film/documentary, Monrovia Indiana, has finally hit the theaters. This happens to be the town where I grew up.
I know you’ve all been on the edge of your seats to see it. I have not. A friend of mine from high school Facebook messaged me that she saw it the other day and wondered if I had. I told her I had not. Not saying, Why would I want to be reminded of the backwoods ignorance of where I came from? I did say that I thought I’d be going to see Bohemian Rhapsody first. Like my Grandma used to say if you can’t say anything nice then don’t say anything at all. Or don’t text back.