pre-hurricane weekend chex mix

To those of you out there who are geologically at risk for hurricane conditions, be safe. And, you, Portland who had an earthquake – I hope y’all are ok!

Now that I got my announcements out of the way I will bore you will my drivel of a life (and, hopefully take your mind off of threatening storm events for like, 15 minutes). So, lets have some updates, shall we?

First, I don’t think I’ve spoken of Emil for awhile. Not sure if she’s pulled her head out of her @ss to read any of the posts on here but if she does, well hey, at least I’m thinking of you. I called her last Friday to chat and catch up. I know her mom is not doing well and she’s had some challenges that don’t include her new gf Kan-Dice. I invited her over for dinner that following Sunday because I thought it would be a good time to catch up with her. Well, she showed up on Sunday, toking on her vape and saying some crazy little phrase for the current strain she was inhaling. (Reminds me of the old XTC days when they were named VW, Superman, Stars, etc. Don’t ASK me how I know that) We were visiting and she said, Oh hey, Kandice said if we can wait until 6 to eat then she’ll drive down.

Like, what was I supposed to say, No, you can’t invite your gf to dinner? 

I didn’t mind if she came but it does change the DYNAMIC. We had dinner and then Emil brings out this game called Banana sack or some such. You know how I hate to play games after dinner. I just want to curl up in bed and watch Mindhunter or something. Not play some GAME. So, you had to spell out words like a crossword puzzle and the first person to use all their letters wins. So, it was like Emil spreading out tiles upside down and saying, GO! And, everyone picking up tiles and trying to spell some word like INANE or something. Charlie and I were kind of like, blank, staring at our letters. Finally, Emil says, Here, let me help and starts moving Charlie’s letters around and spelling words for her. I was reminded of the time she tried to teach me a few chords on guitar and it turned out to be, Just do this, and that, and put your fingers HERE, NO NOT THAT. I mean, Emil is not the most patient teacher.

Kan-Dice piped in for the 45th time, She’s really good at this. 

After three rounds of E & K winning we gave up. I mean, two bottles of wine in, can you blame us for our brains being foggy and not being able to spell out words in 35.6 seconds? The whole thing was annoying and I swear if she takes out that banana sack ever again I’m going to wrap it around her neck.

Last night, we had Benji over for yappy-hour since Charlie went over and got her dog, Squid, mid-day for a play date with Sadie and Bailey. To our great relief, Benji finally dumped the ice queen who wouldn’t even pet her dog let alone stay at her place. We grilled her with, No more gf’s who aren’t dog lovers, and many more things. We shared a pizza and watched Mindhunter and part of the Wisconsin game. (SO nice to watch football again)

Tonight, we’re having our friends Becky and Shelia  and a couple I used to teach classes with over for a crab boil. Neither couple has met each other so I think they will get along like a house on fire. I’ve been looking forward to this weekend for awhile since I’ve had no time off since last April. I even skipped classes this past week because I just want to be off. 

Sunday and Monday both I’m paddling with the couple from above and then doing whatever the hell I want. I’m hoping to take the dogs to a brewery since we’ve started to feel a little snap in the air from lower humidity. Yes, I’m ready for it.

Ok, time to go prep for the party tonight. Be safe this weekend, y’all! Cheers!

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check the box chex mix

You know, you don’t have to check all the boxes and jump through all the hoops to be a good girlfriend. I give you permission to skip one once in a while -and this box, I say skip.

We were referring to Stiletto going to her girlfriend’s family’s memorial service for her brother – who passed 10 years ago. Yes. They still mourn his death every year on the day he died. Apparently, it’s a week-long thing.

Yes, but I said I would go.

I know you did but you can take a pass on this. You’ve been out of town for almost two weeks and now you have to go to this thing.

I said I’d go so I pretty much have to. It’ll be ok. But, next time I’m skipping the box.

I really doubt that Stil – but, ok.

It was probably best that I had the excuse for class being the reason we couldn’t meet up for dinner next week. She’s seen this woman for 9 months and we have yet to meet her. We’ve tried to no avail. There was the time we invited them over for dinner and darts and well, the girlfriend is on dietary restriction and only eats chicken with no sauce on it whatsoever. Grilled veggies? Probably not because it has olive oil on it and don’t even mention bread because that’s on a different bread planet beyond Mars. Plus, the darts are a bad trigger for the girlfriend who is sober like Stiletto. So, no darts, chicken, veggies and bread. Nothing. So, just come over and sit here while we eat. It will be fun – not.

I told Stiletto the date for the music party and she looked at her calendar and said that she’d be there but the girlfriend probably not because she was doing a 100 mile cycling race that day and probably wouldn’t make it.

Oh, well she can’t be around alcohol anyway so I didn’t figure she’d come.

Oh, she can be around alcohol but I have her blocked out for the whole day for some race she’s doing.

Weird she can be around people drinking but God forbid someone throw something pointy at a round board on the wall.

Next, we had happy hour plans with Benji who almost stood us up because she was talking to Simba on the phone – the first all week, I might add. I think Simba knew she had plans with us and decided to make Benji really late. Of course, she could have said, hey. I have to go. But nooooooo. She has to let this woman control her.

We were on drink 3 by the time she walked across the street (Yes, bitch we chose this bar for you because it’s so close to your apartment). We should have left because it was even worse when she got there. She was going to meet up with her later and play darts at another bar up the street. (Yeah, again thanks for asking!) She had that stupid mooney look she did the other night when she finally texted her.

I reminded her of all the nasty one–word texts she received this past week. Charlie lectured her about deserving more. Finally, we slid off our stools and hugged her and left. She’s is going to do what she’s going to do. I’m not even going to ask her what happened the previous night because I know she probably went home with her. Everything’s good now. I don’t need you guys!

Meanwhile, we’re having dinner with one of our more stable friend-couple tonight. It’s easy-peasy. Don’t bring anything just come on over (and at an early time, too) and hang. So, we’re doing that. I probably won’t go to the lake tomorrow because it’s been extremely hot here. Last Sunday, I about fried myself on the lake so I need to wait until it cools off a bit to go back out. I don’t want it to be the last time this season, though. I think after the 24th here it’s supposed to drop below 90 degrees so I may go out next Sunday. That is, if I don’t have too much homework.

Ok, I’m off to get ready for class. Happy Saturday and I hope y’all have a great weekend!

Cheers!

Precipice for disaster

So, from one of my previous posts I told you that I was upset with Benji because she went on about Stiletto bailing on our boat plans. In short, I think it all had to do with a girl that she’s seeing.  I believe now that it was the girl who was overreacting on Benji about how they could have left on their trip a day sooner and Benji just followed along like a love sick puppy.

Fast forward: They just got back from their trip this past Friday. Both Charlie and Stiletto had reached out via text to see if she was back yet and got short replies a day later saying she had. Charlie broke down and invited her over to the house to hang out on Sunday since Benji said her and Simba had a date on Saturday.

They just got back and already they’re going on a date? When’s the wedding?

Sunday, Charlie and I were at the pool trying to stay cool and lounging when she came walking up practically in tears. Apparently, Simba broke up with her the previous night. (I guess this was a breakup date?)

We were like, Whaaaat? Y’all were on a two week trip? How can you just break up?

Benji went on to say that the girl was selfish (ya think?) and that she wasn’t emotionally prepared for a relationship. That her last one was non-emotional and that she’s always been in these types of relationships.

I was thinking, Run, girl, RUN!

Seriously, this is the type of BS I had to put up with in a previous relationship years ago and I realized that people who are historically emotionally unavailable WILL NEVER become emotionally available without a butt-ton of therapy. Even then, it’s very unlikely. Honestly, I called this thing even before they left. Was it the linen pants she wore over to play darts in 1,000 degree weather? Was it just a gut feeling that Benji and she were in two different worlds? Or the fact that she’s not a dog-lover?

All of that registered in my mind and I thought, I give it until they get back – if they make it through the trip.

Benji did show us pictures of their trip to Maine. They went on some insane hike that lasted 9 hours. (Yeah, when the girl isn’t doing yoga or running she has to do 9 hour hikes. I say hike loosely as it was mostly a 1,000 foot climb.) She said at one point Simba had left her on a rock (Whaaa? Hello? Why would you leave someone if you care about them?) and she was trying to get a foothold and couldn’t and finally – she called them trail angels – these two 20-something girls came to her rescue and helped her gain a foothold. Benji said she’s been hanging from a rock for about 15 minutes trying to gain purchase. Then, when she did she found Simba up the trail on a rock smiling. That to me was her trying to best Benji at everything because she feels insecure. But, what if Benji would have fallen and seriously hurt herself? How long would she have stayed there waiting?

That story kind of steamed me. I went to go get more beers. She had already said that she was getting drunk that night and staying over.

And, at some point she did apologize about being a douchebag about the boat thing. I still had a feeling it was originally coming from Simba because she has a big important job and that she wanted to leave a day early, therefore, get back a day early.

So, later after eating dinner we went back outside because Benji wanted to have another drink. We were sitting there and Simba texted her, I wasn’t sure if I should text.

Then, Benji’s all excited because she’s seriously thinking she wasn’t going to text her at all. That she was planning on texting her on Tuesday to see if they could talk. She immediately texted her back. (me – I would have frozen that bitch out)

Benji asked her if she could talk this week, outlining her week’s commitments and Simba texted back, I’ll have to check my work schedule when I get in tomorrow and let you know.

Can you believe that?

If this woman gave a shit wouldn’t you think she’d been a little nicer than, Oh, I have to check my schedule? What-the-fuck-ever.

She asked Benji to give her two weeks of them not talking so she can focus on work, running and yoga. Ok, like, if you can’t possibly have any dialog while doing those things how can you possibly have any bandwidth for a relationship? I seriously don’t think this looks good for her.

I asked Benji, and then what? You get back together?

Benji didn’t know. She didn’t know if she could do it. I’m thinking what a big letdown after coming back from a trip that Benji described amazing and that Simba has asked her to marry her two times. (believe it) and that they met each other’s parents and have tickets to events for the next three months. Yeah, Benji will hold on – for dear life until Simba kicks her off. Which, could be soon.

 

friends won’t be around

You know, I used to worry about moving away from Hotlanta because I would miss all the friends I had. (Notice I said HAD?) But now, I worry more about eating at the same BBQ place down the road as it being the only place for 50 miles. I worry about driving for miles to go grocery shopping. I don’t worry about having a dock to sit on nor starting up the boat for a quick run around the lake before getting on a conference call.

I guess it’s a balance. I do love our home and we’ve finally been able to turn our carport into a garage blocking the remaining views from our unsightly neighbors. (This would be another reason I wouldn’t mind moving – to get away from them). But, back to friends – lesbians here suck. They do. Our straight friends are way easier to manage than the lesbians. There’s always drama there. We have these one friends who are friends with everyone simply because they just don’t care. If someone goes off and doesn’t call them for a year and then reappears they are fine with it. Charlie and I aren’t like that. I guess we expect more from people why we don’t have a lot of friends, I guess. I’d rather have quality friends I can depend on then some fly-by-night friends that I drank with occasionally. I guess my standards are too high.

This one friend, Link, ghosted us for 5 months. When she got back she was trying to get together with us. We were like, Hello. We hadn’t heard from you. You hadn’t answered our phone calls, texts, nothing. No, we don’t want to see you because we’re upset with you. You can’t just fall in to “Let’s go out and drink and have a good time” because we’re pissed.

I mean, wouldn’t that piss you off?

So Link has to use our other friends against us. We asked Rooster over for chili and football and she begged off saying she didn’t feel well but would try to make it. So, the next day, chili bubbling in the crockpot and we see that Rooster had checked in on Facebook to watch football with Link, Dino and Martha.

You know, if she didn’t want to hang with us she should have said she had other plans. Simple as that. You don’t have to lie about it and say you’re sick. Link’s also pissed that we still hang with Stiletto – yeah, we do because she answers her damn phone. She’s a FRIEND. We’re not taking sides here from their breakup. Stiletto’s been a friend, Link has not been a friend.

But, I think some people just don’t know the difference. They just don’t get it. Some people are just ok to have fair weather friends. That’s ok, though, really. Different strokes for different folks but you don’t have to be rude about it. We have enough on our plates as it is. I have SQL and firewalls to get thru this semester so I don’t have a lot of time for bullshit. So, I’m off Facebook, stupid ex-friends, carbs and after yesterday – football.

 

ghosting the past

I know I have been writing a lot about pod casts lately but some of the topics make me really think about things I want to write about. Usually, I listen to these when I’m going for a walk. In fact, they kind of spur me to walk more because I look forward to listening to them. I cannot seem to listen to them while I’m at work because I can’t concentrate on my work and listen to what they are saying – sometimes even when I’m walking when I’m listening to something that makes me think I take off with my own thoughts and have to rewind the podcast to hear what they said because I drift off.

One of the topics that has stuck with me is ghosting. We all have been ghosted at one time or another and probably have ghosted someone else. I know I have probably written about this previously but I was ghosted by two of my good friends who I share a tattoo with and the other two friends with the tattoo I have ghosted (there are five of us altogether who share this tattoo). Sometimes I wonder if this tattoo was a curse to us. Maybe we shouldn’t have gone all-in to be marked for life with the same tattoo.  Other times I think that it’s just a way of life -having friendships come and go like the ebb and flow of the ocean. I’ve come to grips with it and am completely ok with it.

I believe that friendships fit into three categories.

  1. The besties you see or speak to every week or sometimes even more than once a week: These are a rarity for Charlie and I. We only have a few who we see every week and it’s kind of works out the way it does because if we had more then we wouldn’t have any time to ourselves.
  2. The once a month kind of friendships – the ones you may say, Hey haven’t seen you in a week, month, a few months since that ho left you – you meet for a drink or dinner.
  3. The ones you maintain a distance relationship with who you only really converse with on social media. Maybe you’ll travel every once in a blue moon to see but you remain distant friends.

And, everyone outside of that is really not a friend. They’re just someone you run in to at a bar or concert or restaurant and you exchange pleasantries of “We really do need to get together soon.” When both parties are thinking, Yeah no.

I believe someone can only have so many close friends in this life or else it gets crowded. I also believe people outgrow friendships, they move on or the time to spend with them takes a lower priority than the ones who currently are your besties or they piss you off.

I’ve lived on the same street since ’97 and have been friends with another lesbian couple three houses down. They have only been here a year longer than myself. They have both been through some health problems over the years but they are both doing well now. I used to take them lasagna’s when one of them was ill and there were times I got the mail for them. Charlie and I were always asking them down for a beer, over to dinner and even to the parties we’ve thrown – to no avail. They never hardly ever took us up on it – to a point where I was starting to think that there was something they didn’t like about us or our house or something. They always said no. It was a while back that I needed a ride to the train station – which, is less than 3 miles from both of our houses. I asked one of them if they could give me a ride to the station – this was the one who has her own business and is not tied to an 8-5 schedule. Before I could even tell her what time  or day I needed to go she said, Oh I don’t think so. I know I’ll be busy.

I was hurt by that and thought after all the lasagnas I’ve made for them when they weren’t feeling well and taking them all my Good Housekeeping magazines she won’t even give me a ride to the train? I mean, I think I almost cried.

Flash forward, they are one of our landscape clients and Charlie always gets roped into doing extra things for them like getting their mail when they go out of town and making sure if any packages that are left she gets them so no one will steal them. I told her that she shouldn’t do anything extra for them that I was done after that train station incident. She said that she was going to test them and ask if they could get our mail while we’re out of town next week just to see what she says since just recently she not only hauled their mail down to our house but also all their Amazon boxes as well. (Strangely, when Charlie said it would be easier if she had a key to their house and leave all that stuff there the woman acted all weird about it and changed the subject)

Don’t count on her saying yes, I said.

I just want to see what she says.

I guess the moral to this story is to just do stuff for people and not expect anything in return. Maybe I just need to get my head in that space and not expect anything of people. Even so – she’s pretty much off my #2 list.

Then, there’s the ones who are taking a different path – away from the friendship. Whether it’s a life changing thing, a new relationship, or a lifestyle change the ghosting may be mutual. Sometimes we’re just all in different places. I had heard that one of the “Toads” I share a tattoo with had hers removed. I find this ironic because she was one of the ones who always tried to get us all back together. I look down at mine in the traditional Chinese style on my ankle and think, this was just a phase of my life. Part of my past. I will not erase it. You can’t change history but only the future. 

where is the karma?

So, today I’m going to write about a friend of ours – Mary Ann. Charlie and I first met her at Ellen’s house when she was having a party. Mary Ann had just moved here from California at the time and had already made a slew of friends – ironically, ones that she knew while she was in Cali who had also moved here. I think I have mentioned that she’s friends with Katherine and Yvonne – who are now together and have a band.

At the time, Mary Ann had her –then – girlfriend here. In fact, at the party I mistook her for another friend of ours who had moved to Texas and wondered why she just looked at me and looked away like she didn’t know me – later, I found she didn’t because it wasn’t the ex-friend from Texas but Mary Ann’s girlfriend, Krystal.

Despite speaking with Krystal a bit that night I realize now that I have never liked anyone with that name. In fact, everyone with that name I have despised.

Krystal was working and living in Maine and had plans to quit her job and move to Georgia with Mary Ann. We have several friends who have coupled up this way – me and Charlie including. She moved here from Florida. Yvonne is moving here from SC and Ellen just had her new squeeze move here from Arkansas.

At Christmas Mary Ann proposed to Krystal and started house hunting. In January she flew up to Maine, picked Krystal up and they drove back to Georgia stopping along the way making it a vacation. When they got to Georgia they closed on a house [a very lovely one, I might add] and Krystal flew back to quit her job and start packing.

Or so we thought.

In murder mysteries this is the part where someone discovers a bloody knife in the cupboard.

As I told you before, I knew something was up at the Super Bowl party when Mary Ann said that Krystal was having a hard time quitting her job. Well, she didn’t afterall. She broke up with Mary Ann right before Valentine’s Day. Since then, Mary Ann has gone through the stage of grief of “What did I do wrong?” the self-blaming kind – much to all of our frustration.

You didn’t do anything, Krystal is just a bitch.

At the St. Paddy’s day party at Katherine’s I tried to talk to her about it. She was still in the what did I do mode. I said, You have to let this go. You may never know the reason.

Although, I suspected there was another chicken in the coop.

In the meantime, her very old dog – a two-time cancer survivor, I might add – hadn’t been doing well. In fact, he was taking a dive. Many times the past month we have had plans where she would say, Rudy’s not doing well and would stay home with him. We’ve all been on pins and needles about it – really. Poor girl going through a difficult breakup and her dog – only companion – not doing well.

What a fucking raw deal. It makes me want to go hug my Sadie-McTaddie-Fatty-McTattie and Bailey –Bait – well, you know.

Tuesday, we all had plans to go eat at the bar that has the burger specials when Mary Ann said Rudy wasn’t doing well. Then, Wednesday morning Ellen texted that he had passed. That night, she came out for one bowling game. She looked defeated. As she talked to us she raised her sweater and pulled her belt to another notch tighter – already pretty thin she was even more so now.

We need to get some food on those bones, girl.

She was showing Ellen something on her phone. When she went up to bowl later I asked her what that was about.

She’s getting messages from Krystal now about how sorry she is that Rudy isn’t doing well.

What? Has she told her that Rudy died?

Nope. She’s mad now.

Good, we’ve been waiting for this stage.

Saturday, we have plans to meet up at a motorcycle swap meet in North Georgia to look at bikes for Mary Ann. Katherine, Yvonne and I are riding up and meeting Mary Ann and Charlie. I hope she gets a bike and starts riding soon. She needs this. I just feel so terrible for her -just all these sucky things happening to such a good person. It just seems that nothing bad ever happens to the people who suck.

Where is the Karma in all this?

Next up – Lee the homewrecker. Stay tuned!

 

winter storm watch & two girls and a truck

It never fails every time you get a new car, motorcycle, boat, camper or some other outdoor vehicle the weather takes a turn for the worse. Monday, the sun peaked out just long enough to dry the pavement and I fired up Black Fury and took her on a maiden ride.

Sorry Charlie.

I did at least ride her over to Charlie’s work during her lunch hour so she was able to come out and see. Afterwards, I did my standard city loop and came home. Just in time for it to start raining again. The week has been abysmal since.

Today, my office closed at noon to prepare for a winter storm that is supposed to hit late afternoon. I know it has already hit certain northern areas of the city, but on our side of town it varies from rain to sleet. Since there was no accumulation just yet I ran out to get some beer supplies. This reminds me of the snowmageddon we had last year and how the new GEMA chief and the Governor are more on it this year than last. I mean, people were stranded for days last year just because some @sshole couldn’t call it a state of emergency. (In fact, the now demoted head of GEMA last year said on a news conference that between 2 and 3 it hadn’t gotten terrible on the roads. Hello? It has started snowing at 10:00 a.m. and they didn’t let us out of work until 1:00).

What I can’t understand is that it’s a state policy that after some time we are allowed to telework once a week. So – if we’re allowed to do this why not be allowed to do it when we have inclement weather? I mean, we had early release but they could have said, Everyone plan on teleworking tomorrow until we know what the hell the weather is doing. (I brought my laptop home but I don’t plan on doing any work if the office is closed)

Charlie is still at work at this moment but if I have to I’m going to go get her.  It’s almost March and I hope it goes by fast!

Last night, it was supposed to get bad but it didn’t. A bunch of us went out for ½ price burgers at this pub we frequent. Ellen and Stephanie were there, Mary Ann, Katherine (who played the other night), Liz, Charlie and I. The night before we had Ellen and Stephanie over for dinner. Stephanie was supposed to leave on Monday to go back to Arkansas but the weather has been so bad she has stayed, much to – um – Ellen’s enjoyment.

We had gotten onto a topic of everyone’s ex’s at the dinner table the other night and after Ellen explained that she helped an ex of mine move out of my house just to get her out of my life I went to say that if I had known this was something a friend has to do for a friend then I would have moved Louise out long ago. However, before I could get it all out Charlie clamped a hand over my mouth as asked if anyone needed anymore wine.

Last night, Stephanie leaned over and said, What was that thing you were going to say about Louise?

Puzzled I said, I don’t know let me think. OH, I was saying that if I would have known Ellen wanted me to move Louise [CLAMP] Charlie’s hand over my mouth – this time knocking over the rest of my beer onto the table.

I guess some things will remain left unsaid. Speaking of unsaid things…

….our friend, Mary Ann got dumped by her fiancé right after they bought a house they were going to live in together once the fiancé quit her job and moved here. At Super Bowl I knew something was up when I asked Mary Ann when she was coming (she had been here two weeks before to close on the house – there were pictures of them celebrating with drinks and personalized house keys on FB and everything) and she balked and said, Well, she was coming in June but it seems that it’s going to be August now.

Oh, still finishing paralegal school?

No, she’ll be done by then she’s just waiting for this lawyer to move into her office. She’s had this office all to herself until they hired another attorney that is going to move in there so I imagine once she’s slated to the basement she’ll be wanting to quit and move down here and find another job.

I didn’t say anything after that. I didn’t think waiting until you lost a work office to move in with your fiancé was a good enough reason not to already have your @ss down here. I mean, it sounded kind of lame to me.

Weeks later Charlie came home from the grocery store and said she ran into her and the fiancé had broken up with her.

I knew it!

The only reason she told Charlie was because she had accidentally gotten into Charlie’s line and before she knew it Charlie was going, Hey, how are you? Oh. You don’t look so good. What’s wrong?

You can’t get anything past Charlie. If something’s wrong she will get it out of you.

She reluctantly told her that her and the fiancé broke up (I’m not even going to give the bitch a name on my blog, either). I couldn’t believe it. I mean, I could but they just bought a house together (I mean, I think both of their names are on the deed). I’m like, Why buy a house if you know you’re going to break up?

Since then she hasn’t talked to anyone about it. It’s been all hush-hush. She didn’t even want Ellen to know (who we told anyway and then threatened her life not to tell her she knew) We took her some soup the other day and saw the house – it’s a great house, too. But, unlike the house she didn’t look good. Her eyes were puffy like she’d been crying all morning. She has a small very old dog that hasn’t been doing well, either, and she’s been worried about him. I hoped that her dog didn’t kick off while she was going through this, too. When we left I told Charlie that I was very worried about her. She was too.

But, at least she was at the show on Saturday (her and Katherine are pretty tight and I knew she would never miss something like that) and out last night eating burgers. She did seem much better – not like a mile better but at least her eyes weren’t all puffy like on Sunday. When we saw her on Saturday I said she could come over any time and that we probably had some old plates she could throw against the house. She thanked us but said she was dealing with it.

I guess I’m wondering when the angry part is going to happen but I still feel really bad for her. I guess all we can do is keep her in our thoughts. At least the bitch moved on before she moved in so Ellen and I didn’t have to go over there and move her out.

fourscore and……four years since

Some of you who have been reading this blog since 2011 will remember Lee. The last time I had the unfortunate event in running into her was when Ellen, Charlie and I came back to Ellen’s from seeing a concert – right after Charlie moved here and in with me.

Ellen’s two friends, Rhoda and Heidi were in town staying in their Winnebago parked at Ellen’s. Sarah McLachlan was playing at Chastain that night and Ellen and I had decided to surprise Charlie. Lee had also gotten Heidi a ticket to the show and asked her to go, Ellen had told us on the way to the concert. I wasn’t concerned as Lee had tickets that were much further up and there was really only a slight chance in running into her. Which, I didn’t care, anyway. At the time, we all thought it was WEIRD that Lee just gets Heidi a ticket to the show and Rhoda thinks nothing of them going together.

Lee had met the two of them previously when we were going out and they were traveling and performing together. They happened to be in town and Ellen invited us down to a burger/bar joint for dinner one night. When I first met Rhoda and Heidi I couldn’t really see the match – AT ALL. Nothing against Rhoda (other than being a stupid b*tch to let her gf run off with Lee all the time but I’ll get to that) but she is one you would imagine out back, behind the cabin splitting wood in her overalls and not intimate with a razor of any kind- if you know what I mean. Heidi would be one you would see out back cooking meth in a shed. Honestly, I couldn’t see much in either, however, I was trying not to judge until Heidi went into a speal about having medical [liquid] marijuana and that when they went into Canada to play they almost got thrown in jail. I had asked what the medical [weed] was for and she said, Oh, I’m sick. I’m very sick.

Hmm, that weed must be good because it either cured you to sit here and gladly eat hamburgers, fries and drink beer or you must not be too sick to be sitting here eating hamburgers, fries and drinking beer, I thought. I had just gotten out of a relationship with someone who was constantly the later – I’m sick but I can’t pick up my own trash, run a sponge over the counter or push the button on the laundry to turn it on and, oh, can I have $100 to go to a movie and take my kid shopping? Yeah, I’d been there, done that and I was done listening to anything Heidi said the rest of the night. But, Lee apparently was smitten. Her and Heidi were looking at Heidi’s youtube videos and talking about her music.

She’s truely talented, Lanie, truely talented…..echoed in my head.

Later, Lee happened to mention that they had friended each other on FB and that they talked for an hour the other night. I was like, When did y’all exchange numbers?

Oh, the other night at the bar.

That was the thing with Lee. She was always texting and calling other women. There was always someone else in the picture. I realized at the end of the relationship [if you could call it that] that she would never be satisfied with having one person and even so that one person would always be jealous of her always texting and calling other women. She would say, We’re just friends. But, normally one would not be calling and texting their best friend all day long and every evening unless they wanted to get into friend’s pants. Know what I mean? I had this same problem with her and Muscle head which, I’m sure she screwed around with behind my back that one night.

So fast forward 4 years and I get a message from Ellen:

OMG! Rhoda called me this morning.. apparently Lee went to visit Heidi for new years and Lee told Rhoda that Heidi is her soul mate and she knew they were connected from the first time they met at Brockett… Heidi and Rhoda are living together.. Rhoda is more than a little pissed and is getting Heidi out of her apartment hopefully today.. It just sounds like a huge mess and I feel bad for Rhoda.. She needs to be rid of Heidi and maybe Heidi and her soul mate Lee can be happy and crazy together..

Oh.my.Gawd. I knew it! So did she go out there to bust them up or what?

She went out there for a visit.. Lee says that Heidi didn’t indicate that she and Rhoda were together and that she thinks Heidi is her soul mate and that she is sure Rhoda will find someone that she connects with if Rhoda just puts herself out there or so other random bullshit.. Rhoda is livid.. she and Heidi moved in together in September to a one bedroom apartment.. but Lee didn’t get the impression that Heidi and Rhoda were in a relationship.. Yeah Rhoda sounds done.. I soo hope she is.. Lee came out to visit Heidi and Rhoda but Lee and Heidi needed some one on one alone time so on New Year’s eve they left Rhoda at home and went out and got a hotel at the place that Rhoda wanted to take Heidi for the night.. it sounds pretty screwed up…

Ok, what is wrong with this picture? Is Rhoda so stupid that she’s just ok with Lee and Heidi going off to a hotel somewhere to screw on NYE?

Rhoda said they spend hours on the phone with each other..

This was not surprising as the girl never removed the phone(s) from the side of her head or hand the whole time we were seeing each other. Wait, this conversation seems like it’s in third person so I asked, Was Rhonda the one telling u all this about what Lee said and not thinking they were together?

Yes. Lee sent Rhoda a text, Rhoda read it to me… It is entirely possible that Heidi lied about their relationship to Lee but still… She may have told Lee that they were not in a relationship but Rhoda said before they left for their alone one on one time Rhoda told them to respect Rhoda and Heidi’s relationship and Rhoda’s feelings… It is very odd and kinda shocking to me.. I just kept saying “Wow, Lee?” it has been 4 years… Lee and Heidi have been building this up for 4 years.. its kinda crazy.

That was the thing with Lee – she has Asperger’s syndrome which includes: Obsessive interests.

That’s why I’m relieved that the times we have bumped into one another after the breakup she had a glowing interest in someone else or else I would have gone back onto her radar and she would have blown my phone up with messages and texts and Charlie would eventually had had to go over there and cut her throat.

But, let’s talk about Rhoda being a stupid bitch. Why would you allow your partner to go to a hotel on NYE with someone else and still think you could be in a relationship? What wood cutting, no-shave -body -hair planet is she living on??!!

And, 4 years??!!?

I said to Ellen, Wait? Wasn’t Heidi abusive at one point to Rhoda?

She was and Rhoda said that Christmas she had to call the police on Heidi again… Heidi’s parents live out there nearby.. I can’t imagine Heidi leaving.. but I can’t see Lee moving out there? But who knows.. I really don’t care much as long as Rhoda rids herself of Heidi… It is just so destructive to Rhoda.

All I kept looking at was the line of “call the police on Heidi again..” How many times has she called the cops on her, I wondered.  

What does Heidi do?

Oh, she’s collecting disability.

Right, but obviously she’s not too sick to beat on someone -unless that medical marijuana is miracle marijuana.   

Anyway, the only surprising thing in this story is that it’s still going on 4 years later.

Teeter-totter, balance

I think when there are many great things happening in your life that you sometimes have at least one equally lame thing going on – like a teeter-totter that is balanced in the middle. Of course many of you can guess the really great things going on is Charlie n me. We frequently sometimes probably sicken our friends on FB with our messages and songs of love to each other.

I honestly think some of our friends have retaliated a bit over it, too. That’s lesbians for you. They can often sometimes be madly in love or raging b*tches -from one extreme to the other. Charlie has been hearing a bit from her ex who is the later of the extremes I mentioned above. Right after her and Charlie broke up and she moved up here she got an email from her saying she just wanted closure.

I love the closure emails – they are often end up to be some lame excuse to contact the other. A therapist once told me that if I wanted to write an evil letter to my ex then do so. Write several if I wanted but throw them in a drawer, don’t mail them or actually give them to the ex.

Months went by and Charlie didn’t hear from the ex again until she recently went up to see friends of ours. These friends are mutual friends of Charlie’s and the ex’s but have become my friends as well after Charlie moved up here and they came to several of our parties and even one of theirs. I will call them Camie and Gina. Well, they had this party early December and wanted us to come up.

It was kind of the last real party they were having before Camie started treatment (I won’t say but yes it’s kind of serious) and Gina had shoulder surgery. I couldn’t go that weekend because I had to work but Charlie went up without me and spent the night. Well, just like our New Years Eve party – hardly anyone showed up. In their case only Charlie showed up. The girls still had a good time and once Charlie was back in town she said she was glad she went. Well, right after that she received a very nasty letter from the ex. This one was another closure letter.

“How many f*cking closure letters do you have to get?”, I railed.

I had read the letter and it made my claws come out. She started out comparing their breakup to the tragedy in Connecticut and at one point in the letter she wrote “I despise you.”

Apparently, Camie and Gina got a nasty letter from her, too. Gina called her and told her she was basically really lame and how dare she send something like that what with all they were going through. She apologized to them but if I were them I’d be like “go F-youself take a hike – a very long hike – to another continent, even. “

I showed Charlie how to block her email address so any emails from her go into limbo. Then, a few weeks later she calls Charlie and leaves some message that a mutual friend of theirs in Florida was sick and probably going to die. After the message she followed up with a few texts giving her information on how to contact the family (which Charlie didn’t answer the texts but she did contact the family – but the info could have certainly came from another source other than the ex)

Next, we find out that she has said that she’s coming to visit Camie and Gina the end of May and oh, she’s going to stay will Ellen, too.

“We’re so going to be out of town that weekend.”

“Camper or no camper – we’re out.”

Right now, I don’t want to make a big deal out of it. I honestly think that by the end of May she will have pissed Camie and Gina off so much that they will say stay the hell away. That leaves Ellen who I’m sure only said yes because she’s a nice person like that and cannot say no. Do I think it’s weird that a friend of Charlie’s that she’s had for many years said yes to letting an ex of hers stay with her?

Yes, I do.

That would be like Lee (my ex) calling her up to ask her if she could come stay with her. I feel like it’s exactly the same situation and why the hell would anyone want that crazy girl to come stay with them?

Anyway, like I told Charlie – the less a big of deal we make out of this the better. I feel the ex wants some kind of reaction from Charlie, some kind of attention. Let’s wait until May to see if it does come to fruition and if so it doesn’t matter anyway because we will be out of town.

I mean, am I taking this too lightly? Should I be worried? (is anyone out there?)