Protected: again, I say own your sh*t

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friends won’t be around

You know, I used to worry about moving away from Hotlanta because I would miss all the friends I had. (Notice I said HAD?) But now, I worry more about eating at the same BBQ place down the road as it being the only place for 50 miles. I worry about driving for miles to go grocery shopping. I don’t worry about having a dock to sit on nor starting up the boat for a quick run around the lake before getting on a conference call.

I guess it’s a balance. I do love our home and we’ve finally been able to turn our carport into a garage blocking the remaining views from our unsightly neighbors. (This would be another reason I wouldn’t mind moving – to get away from them). But, back to friends – lesbians here suck. They do. Our straight friends are way easier to manage than the lesbians. There’s always drama there. We have these one friends who are friends with everyone simply because they just don’t care. If someone goes off and doesn’t call them for a year and then reappears they are fine with it. Charlie and I aren’t like that. I guess we expect more from people why we don’t have a lot of friends, I guess. I’d rather have quality friends I can depend on then some fly-by-night friends that I drank with occasionally. I guess my standards are too high.

This one friend, Link, ghosted us for 5 months. When she got back she was trying to get together with us. We were like, Hello. We hadn’t heard from you. You hadn’t answered our phone calls, texts, nothing. No, we don’t want to see you because we’re upset with you. You can’t just fall in to “Let’s go out and drink and have a good time” because we’re pissed.

I mean, wouldn’t that piss you off?

So Link has to use our other friends against us. We asked Rooster over for chili and football and she begged off saying she didn’t feel well but would try to make it. So, the next day, chili bubbling in the crockpot and we see that Rooster had checked in on Facebook to watch football with Link, Dino and Martha.

You know, if she didn’t want to hang with us she should have said she had other plans. Simple as that. You don’t have to lie about it and say you’re sick. Link’s also pissed that we still hang with Stiletto – yeah, we do because she answers her damn phone. She’s a FRIEND. We’re not taking sides here from their breakup. Stiletto’s been a friend, Link has not been a friend.

But, I think some people just don’t know the difference. They just don’t get it. Some people are just ok to have fair weather friends. That’s ok, though, really. Different strokes for different folks but you don’t have to be rude about it. We have enough on our plates as it is. I have SQL and firewalls to get thru this semester so I don’t have a lot of time for bullshit. So, I’m off Facebook, stupid ex-friends, carbs and after yesterday – football.

 

the past is the past chex mix

Sometimes I feel like I am too gullible in my old age. I always seem to think the best of people until I’m smacked in the face with reality. Those who know me may think otherwise as I can be a bit sarcastic. Even so, I’ve recently been going over in my mind of what happened with my friend who committed suicide last year.

Last year was such a fucker. I lost my step mother and my friend committed suicide. As I’m sure a lot of people that have had someone they know commit suicide they are left wondering what the hell happened. I think back to all the times I hung out with this friend of mine – it was quite a bit back in the early 2000’s. I wonder what it was that went wrong. She was a pharmacy rep so I always wondered if that gave her access to drugs. One of the last conversations we’d had she said she was diagnosed with narcolepsy. I really have no inkling at to what that involves to this day. I wondered if it was just a cover up to a real addiction such as oxy. These are questions that I will never know the answer to so I tell myself it doesn’t matter. Stop wasting time thinking about it because you will never know.

Then, fast forward. The other day I was working on a lab for my security class. It wanted you to do a series of web searches on yourself to see if you existed on the web. Not wanting to type in my own name I typed in an ex of mine and, voila, a mug shot came up.  I was shocked. Here all these years I’d assumed she would be some English or Political Science professor all in tweed at a progressive university somewhere with a pencil stuck in her bun.

Man, was I wrong. I copied/pasted the link and sent it to a friend of mine who we went to school with saying WTF?? I haven’t heard back from her yet – she’s in Cali maybe dealing with fires and probably this is the last thing she’d be concerned with is checking her FB messages. All the same, how could I be so stupid? That time at college we were dating she was a huge cokehead and lying was practically a minor. She eventually started seeing another ex of mine and last I heard they moved out to California together. At the time, I had just accepted an internship in Atlanta and thankfully they were gone by the time I got back to graduate. I don’t know why I should be surprised.

Speaking of the loserville past, the independent film/documentary, Monrovia Indiana, has finally hit the theaters. This happens to be the town where I grew up.

I know you’ve all been on the edge of your seats to see it. I have not. A friend of mine from high school Facebook messaged me that she saw it the other day and wondered if I had.  I told her I had not. Not saying, Why would I want to be reminded of the backwoods ignorance of where I came from? I did say that I thought I’d be going to see Bohemian Rhapsody first. Like my Grandma used to say if you can’t say anything nice then don’t say anything at all. Or don’t text back.

gone are the days

Why is it when I have a hangover  I’m awake at an ungodly hour? Everyone else is sleeping away their hangovers except me and the cat. The cat is bitching at me right now to be fed. I’m ignoring him. He can wait. I have important shit to write.

Last night, we all met up at the pub for Martha’s birthday. It was a surprise party that Dino had arranged. She called earlier in the week and ordered us to be there and asked if I would make sure Link knew about it. I was like, I’ll tell her but she can call or text that she’s coming herself. I’m not planning shit these days because between my two classes I don’t have time for anything but working on the assignments and trying to understand what the f*ck it is that I should be learning.

Of course, Mike and Celia were there. I had given myself a talk about not letting Mike get under my skin prior to getting there. Plus, Charlie’s ex gf was there because she’s met Martha all of two times and thinks they’re bosom buds. We knew J-mac was going to be there and just said, Oh well. I invited B Ferris because I knew that Martha would want her there and vice versa. Link had ridden over with us and Stiletto had shown up later to buffer join the party. Both Rooster and Shutter came as well.

So, when we walked up of course Celia was outside smoking with her and Mikes live-in Sarah (who is very strange) I really didn’t want to hug them because I didn’t want cigarette smoke on me but I did.  We went in and sat down – fortunately, there were a lot of seats to choose from so we ended up sitting at the opposite end of the table than J-mac. Mike just happened to be sitting in the middle and by the time Martha came in she took a seat at the end of the table as the head since it was her birthday leaving one chair beside Mike and a chair at the other end of the table next to me open. We were all sitting there talking and waiting for B Ferris and Christie to come before ordering food.

Dino came over to say that she was glad that I invited B Ferris as she said it wasn’t on her radar. It’s been almost a year to date since the whole nudity situation from Martha’s last birthday. I’m still not over it entirely. I still think, If you ever touch my wife again there WILL be consequences. 

Just then, B Ferris walks in and plops down in the chair beside me after hugging Charlie and I. That’s when Mike lost her shit.

YOU CAN’T SIT THERE BECAUSE CHRISTIE IS STILL COMING AND SHE’S VERY FAT AND WONT BE ABLE TO SIT IN BETWEEN ME AND [SHUTTER] HERE.

Every time Mike speaks its like a shout. Not sure if she needs to be fitted for hearing aids or what. And, how disrespectful to Christie talking about her weight like that at a full table of people. I’m sure if Christie would have known that she would have been mortified.

B Ferris just looked at her and went to get up and said, I don’t think so I want to sit here.

YOU CAN’T SIT THERE THAT’S CHRISTIE’S SEAT! YOU NEED TO COME SIT OVER HERE NOW.

I was getting pissed. I put my hand on B Ferris who was looking like she wanted to burst into tears and said, It’s ok stay here. 

B Ferris had just lost a beloved cat and was having a rough time so I’m sure Mike’s outburst caused even more distress. I was about to shout at Mike to cut her some slack she’d just lost a cat but I was afraid that would push Ferris over the brink and she’d leave and I wanted her to stay. Rooster and Shutter also chimed in that they could make room when Christie gets there no worries.

Mike then pointed at B Ferris and said, I’M NOT GOING TO FORGET THIS.

Like it was a threat or something. All I could think was WTH?! If she would have said that to me I would have been in her face so fast she wouldn’t have known what hit her.

B Ferris said, I think I need to go outside.

I knew if she went outside she’d start crying and then leave. I put my hand on her back and said, You’re fine, stay here.

I think Rooster and Shutter chimed in again that they’d make room and the subject was finally dropped and people were starting to look at Mike like she was the asshole that she is. Yeah, Link and Stiletto say it’s just because she’s from New York. I’m like I don’t care where you’re from -rude is rude. I get tired of every time we all get together either Mike is an ass or Dino has to get handsy or naked. People say, I don’t’ understand why you don’t ever want to do anything with them.

Really, people?

There are so many other friends who behave themselves and are a joy to be around why do I have to put up with that shit? Anyway, we all got through it but if I have to hang out with them in the future I’m going to start calling them out on their shit. If Mike starts talking rude to me or someone else I’m going say, Mike stop being rude and call her out. If Dino decides to grab my wife’s crotch like she did at Rooster and Shutters show that one time I’m going to immediately get in her face and say That’s not appropriate, keep your hands to yourself. Gone are the days of not saying anything. I mean, sheesh, am I being unreasonable here?

I have two more freaking days until vacation. WHOOP! I need it! I’ve been working on what seems like 100 labs to get ahead in school so I won’t have to be hitting the books while we’re gone. If I don’t talk to you before then I will see you on the flip-side. Cheers!

 

 

Cruisin’

What does Melissa Etheridge think when she’s performing on an all-exclusive lesbian cruise? As women dance around in their bikini tops and cutoff jean shorts with their Bud Lights in cozies does she think, I’ve really made it, man!  If I die right now then my destiny will be fulfilled.

Do you think she thinks that?

There was a point where I thought it would be fun to go on one of those cruises. Melissa Etheridge, Sarah McLachlan and a few other notable mostly female artists play. I bet Sarah M is like, Yeah, pick me up in this port, I’ll play and be on to the next thing. I really doubt any of these artists stay around for the entire cruise.  I guess there would be some pros and cons to an all lesbian cruise. Let’s list them starting out with the pros first:

You wouldn’t have to worry about the opposite sex trying to pick up your wife

Lots of good music if you’re in to a mostly all women lineup

You have the biggest lesbian bar right there

You don’t have to take an Uber across town when you’re drunk

I’m sure there’s activities outside of Bud Light and music?

Maybe there’s food, too and shore activities.

 

Ok, the cons:

Even though you wouldn’t have to worry about the opposite sex trying to pick up your wife the same sex could be trying. I’m sure there’s quite a few single women on that cruise. It makes me wonder what the percentages are. I mean, does a single woman who lives in a po-dunky town that’s dated all of the fish in the small pond think, I’m gonna go on a Melissa Etheridge cruise and meet the woman of my life and get married.

Do you think they think that?

Then – they could possibly run out of Bud Light. I’m sure the company stock goes up during cruise times. Do they stop in different ports and load up on xtra Bud? Does Sarah M come on board with the Bud Light load in San Juan?

These are important questions, I know.

The cruise is for 8 days – that seems a bit long to be locked up on a boat with all lesbians. Plus, 8 days of Bud Light doesn’t seem appealing but – there’s always the shore excursions you can go on to get away – but I’m sure they cost $$.

Plus, your ex could be on board. (Mine is, actually – another reason I would never go on one of these – she’s always there – she’s the fish in the small pond scenario – really there to stalk Sonia Leigh – poor Sonia L – everywhere she goes there’s my ex stalking her. Oh well.)

Do you think there’s women who get on board and realize their ex is on the cruise, too, and they spend all their time trying to avoid or hide out from that person? Like this:

OMG there she is over by the stage left – when Halcyon comes on we are so outta here. Let’s go down and hide out in the casino.

I can’t believe you ever dated her – why is she here anyway. Hey did she ever pay you back the $20,000 she owes you?

No, and that’s probably how she could afford to go on this cruise and be with that ho-bag that’s all over her.

What, are you jealous?

Hell, no – we were never going to work.

Shit, I think she just looked right at me.

Nut-huh, she’s too busy licking that girl’s neck. Ew!

Don’t look now but here she comes!

I’m sure this happens on every cruise. I’m sure the people who work on that cruise need a year off in between cruises to recuperate from all the drama.

Do you think Sarah M and Melissa E meet up for drinks after and say, Did you see that one woman throw her Bud Light at the woman who threatened to jump off the ship if they didn’t get back together? I didn’t think we were going to make it this time, Melissa, I really didn’t.

I honestly don’t know why I keep doing this, Sarah. I keep hoping that I’ll meet the love of my life on one of these things but I’ve got a Chrome Plated Heart.

 

 

friday chex mix – and, another prayer

Friends and Working Out 

Last week, Charlie went to Florida to see the kids and I stayed home and maintained home life with the dogs. Unfortunately, while she was gone we did not have a working dryer. Since I was watching Link’s cats I hauled washed clothes over there to put in her dryer. Saturday, I went to Incubus with Emil and this new girl -I don’t know new girl enough to give her a name. Maybe Nicole – that sounds like a straight girl name, doesn’t it? So, the plan was Emil picking me up and almost killing us in a car accident on the way to pick up Maybe-Nicole to go have dinner prior to the show. I was initially a little skeptical of the evening because originally when we met Maybe-Nicole she didn’t make the best impression on me nor Charlie. I had already told Emil that if I felt like a 3rd wheel then I was outta there. Maybe-Nicole just broke up with her live-in boyfriend and was dipping her toe into the lake of lesbianism with Emil.

[I don’t know about you but is there a gong going on in your head saying DANGER, DANGER, DANGER?]

But, the evening went well – we- um – had some special brownies that kind of enhanced the show. Along with some whiskey that I had snuck in in a special compartment in my bag with pads and tampons thrown on top. All weekend I practiced guitar to no avail. Despite my fingers developing some great calluses on the tips I still suck at guitar. I really do. I will leave the performing to the pros. Emil was supposed to rehearse with me all weekend but she got caught up in this Maybe-Nicole girl. At one point during that evening we were talking about work and Maybe-Nicole trying to make a better impression and be nice asked me what I did. I explained pointing to the wires above that provide service to everything that was around us (so that should tell you I work in utilities and engineering) and Emil said, I don’t think I ever knew that about you. Here’s what I wanted to say, Because every damn time we’re together all you’re talking about is your ex is why. 

I did not say that, of course. But honestly some of our friends they’re either falling off the map because they met a girl or all they have to talk about is said girl. It’s gets so one-dimensional and boring after awhile. Seriously, can we contribute anything to the conversation aside from who you’re screwing, thinking about screwing or wanting to screw right now?? I’m tired of it. It makes me want to start another Meetup group – one of serious conversation or one that people get out and actually DO something other than talk about Tinder. It’s one of the things I really appreciate about some of our friends who do provide thought-provoking conversations that are not always about themselves. I need more of that to feed my brain.

I’ve been going to Orangetheory every night this week to make up for my eating and drinking debauchery of last week. I love it and the more I go the more I want to go. For some reason the subject of our friends and how no one in our group really works out came up last night. Charlie, being the lucky one in landscaping all day doesn’t have to pay for an elevated heart rate and lifts weedeaters and saws in place of dumbbells said, Sure we have friends who work out.

Who? Who do we know other than Todd and Christie who live in Dahlonega and cycle and run all the time do we know?

Neither of us could name anyone. It’s part of the social aspect of why I like group fitness is the outlet to talk to other people who are trying to get fit like myself. (Believe me, I’ve asked some of our friends to come with me to the gym and they look at me as if I’m asking them to join a cult or something. They sort of back away shaking their heads, trying not to trip and fall backwards.) It used to be competition when I was in bootcamp but not so much where I go now. Although, every time we have a rowing competition in the gym this one burly guy always wins it. But, then I think – maybe this is the only thing he wins ever – so then he deserves it. I think most of these people, myself included, could be across the street at the pizza place drinking beer and eating a pie with pesto crust and instead they’re in here sweating their bums off. Working hard. Yes, I’m bitter about the pesto crust as I row and look across the street at the pizza place. There should be a law against putting a Mellow Mushroom across the street from an Orangetheory – it should be a zoning law. Like not being aable to put Industrial next to Residential.

Parties

Charlie and I are getting ready for our music party the Friday after next and going to see our friends in Asheville. We’re still planning food and drink but think we have a handle on it. I know next week is going to be hectic preparing. There’s little things that tick me off about inviting people to parties – like, not RSVP-ing. EVER. Or, when you ask them to they put a comment like, Oh sorry I forgot about this and I made other plans. 

I know it’s a fact of every party thrown that there are always going to be people who never respond without some major arm twisting. Then, there are those who say, We don’t know yet? These are the people who still haven’t made up their mind if they’re going to go to work or not tomorrow. Everything is “We’ll see.” 

Ok, we’ll see if we invite you to the next party, how about that?

This weekend is anything goes – we don’t (at least I don’t think we do) have any plans to speak of but maybe it will be getting ready for the following weekend. Even without the “We’ll see’s” or “Maybe’s” we still have about 20 people confirmed.

Prayers 

In all the mix Link has to have a surgery tomorrow so please send positive thoughts and prayers or even energy today for our dear friend.

 

early friday chex mix

It’s a rainy evening here in Georgia.

Not that I’m complaining of the rain – never. We have grass seed in the back that needs to germinate and I desperately do not want a drought this summer. Yes, I’d take rain any day over a dusty summer. I do realize that we’re still in spring and not quite gotten to summer just yet. I am not rushing it, either. I enjoy these lush, spring days (now that I’ve gotten over the high pollen count with two sinus infections). Charlie is feeling a little under the weather today – something she ate last night, perhaps. It was date night tonight and we went to have pho and then straight home. She has fallen asleep in front of the TV watching some documentary about Africa.

Vacation, f*cking vacation.

I want to be on vacation, honestly. I want to see beaches and smell the salt in the air. We leave for Florida the end of next week and it cannot get here soon enough.

Happy hour.

It’s impossible to get everyone together anyhow for this. I feel like I constantly be the communicator, the planner, the organizer. Maybe one HH a month is enough. We got quite a few 3 people over last week for it but this week we have a bunch of maybes and rain. Maybe’s and rain = Meh, forget it.  Sometimes it would be nice to sit in a cozy Irish pub by a fire (Hey, Marley House) so if it’s raining tomorrow we go there – that is, if Charlie’s feeling better.

We have this friend.

Who I will name DD for Dreary Debbie? Debbie Downer is too common. Desperate Debbie? Yeah, more like that. The girl puts a whole new meaning into that word desperate. Deeeeesperado…….why don’t you come to your senses…….

-it’s like that, y’all. She’s been chasing a dream with two legs for seven-sevenfucking-YEARS to no avail who treats her like a laundry basket or one that holds magazines. Every once in a while you kick it when you’ve had a frustrating day – that kind of basket. So, when she’s Desperate Debbie basket she gets on Tinder.

No good can come from a DESPERATE women in her mid-40’s being on Tinder.

NO GOOD, PEOPLE. No good…..So, you can just imagine the types of people she’s talking to. The ones who ask for money after the 50th text, no snapchat-asses. These are probably men in their mid-50’s using their 20-something year old nieces pictures to elicit money and sex on the internet. We have lunch with Debbie sometimes on the weekends and she shows us dozens of pictures of ho’s women she’s talking to on the internet. Then she gets all depressed that she’s not meeting someone and in the same breath says she’s going to see the woman who treats her like a basket for dinner. We say, Why, why, why, Debbie? You’re going to be on Tinder when you’re FIDDY (50). You don’t want that to happen. You won’t able to swipe left or right because you’ll have arthritis by then from swiping so much. Stop being desperate, Debbie. Stop.

Even Benji had problems with Tinder. Her Tinder woman went cra-cra, said she didn’t want to see anyone and then dropped off the face of the earth (but, probably not off Tinder). They had planz, too. Like going out of town and to a (teeny-bopper 20ish) concert which didn’t happen. Benji was so depressed that she didn’t go – even after trying to talk her into going and giving the xtra ticket to some hot 20-something and having fun. She stayed at home and moped. I would have gone if I were her.

Work. PMP. What am I doing?

I don’t know. We had a “team” meeting on Tuesday and we were told that they found enough old geezers people to take an early retirement that they wouldn’t have to lay anyone off. This is a relief because I’m still trying to find a way to get a promotion to a different department and it’s proving to be equal to landing a federal job interview. That difficult. I know it’s only been a couple of weeks since I got certified but I hope this PMP thing holds more weight than it is holding so far. Part of me doesn’t know what to do with all this spare time I have now from not having to study. The other part is like, what’s next? The company has all these online training classes on Agile Scrum and if I take 22 of these things and take their test I get their company bronze certification in Agile Scrum (notice I said company – by no means is this the nationwide scrum master cert) so I’m doing it so I can add it to my company resume. I’m going to take six months and keep applying and if I don’t get any interviews then I’m going on to another certification – scrum master, Agile, or even Leed. Something.

So, that’s all I got. I hope you enjoyed the snippets of topics – we’ll call it an early Friday chex mix. Y’all have a great weekend! Cheers!

 

the wedding slinger

This was the sort of Monday that I wished to stay in bed and sleep in. We made it through the weekend of Dino and Martha’s wedding. We hugged so many necks I’m wanting to go home and o.d. on Emergen-C packs.

Friday evening was the bachelor/bachelorette part(ies). The later consisted of Hollis C. Literar driving all the girls up to this spa where they got naked and women scrubbed their bodies. In hearing Stiletto explain this is worthy of a SNL skit. Especially, the part where she’s talking about the spa for the –uh-groin area only. I was sitting there wondering if one would add in some spices like olive oil and basil if they knew they were going to get some action later.

I was to drop Charlie off at the pub to rendezvous with the girls and go on to have dinner with Drewberry and meet up with them later at the Claremont Lounge. When we got to the pub we decided to have a few beers before she left as the spa didn’t allow any alcohol – probably to keep everything hydrated you know what I mean? Cant’ have a dry hootchie or else there will be more treatment.

Once there, Stiletto came in from the back porch saying they were having a pre-rehearsal dinner and everyone was out there. We kind of wondered why we didn’t get invited as it would have been nice to meet Martha and Dino’s extended family and Creed who I haven’t seen in 5 years as well has Rhoda and her new gf. But, according to Stiletto it was only for the family and people in the wedding party. Ok. Looking back, I still would have been happier with a place of meeting where everyone could eat and linger instead of dividing up the heard between heifers and bulls and leaving. Creed came in and introduced us to her new gf. I never did see Rhoda until the next day at the wedding. So, as everyone was wrapping up and I made my escape.

Later, I Uber’d it down to the Lounge and when I got there I texted Charlie to see where they were. I guessed that all the “boys” were already in the club but I wanted to wait for the [newly scrubbed] girls. Hollis had to park about three blocks away as there was no parking anywhere close. Finally, we went inside but everyone got lost in the crowd. I managed to score Charlie and I some seats at the bar and we visited with Link and Stiletto from time to time but Martha and the group had gotten a table in the back where I guess it was more accessible for lap dances? I don’t know. The boys had only gone to one strip club prior to arriving and Mike had drank so much he was passed out in the limo. When we got there they were leaving to take the limo back and some of the heifer/bull people left with the limo. Charlie and I finally called it quits and walked outside to follow Hollis to the car to get her bag. Hollis disappeared for what seemed hours and we walked up these really steep stairs to get to the front. The minute I got to the top of the stairs I turned my ankle and went down. Charlie and this guy who was there grilling hot dogs [why that seemed like a reasonable thing at 2 a.m. in the morning] had to help me up. I skinned my shin and knee as well.

The next day, the dogs had to drag us out of bed to get us up. We had breakfast and took it easy until the wedding. There was to be cocktails at 4, the ceremony at 5 and festivities after. When we arrived, Rhoda was on the back deck playing guitar. Unlike her ex she’s a wonderful musician and I enjoyed hearing her. We mingled with Hollis and her gf, Sharon who we hadn’t seen in forever. We had just had a beer when everyone was directed to stand in the back garden area and await the ceremony to begin. Martha was escorted down by Hollis and Dino by [of course] Mike. Creed came out to do the ceremony. It was very surprisingly fast – no vows or anything. I remembered Charlie and me exchanging ours in Valbella in New York – in fact, it was attached to a really nice hotel with a library where we did our exchange.

After the ceremony, many people herded to the food line. I wasn’t about to stand in that line so Charlie and I grabbed more drinks and mingled some more. I was telling Rhoda about hearing that Lee threw Heidi out (which, is no surprise as I figured Bertha would have made her get her out of there eventually). Apparently, once Lee threw her out she later went to look for her and found Heidi passed out on a park bench (frothing at the mouth, even) and took a bunch of pictures and posted them on FB. Rhoda was livid that she never called an ambulance or anything just took pictures and walked away. I wasn’t surprised. I said all Lee ever thought about was herself. But, then Lee upped and moved out to Seattle to be with Heidi and moved into some trailer with her. Rhoda said they deserve each other and they do.

Rooster and Shutter’s band played after the ceremony. I had gone in to say hi to them when we got there. Link was walking around helping Stiletto (who was the volunteered music coordinator, makeup artist for the bride and her mother, caterer manager and bachelorette party planner). B. Ferris had shown up after the ceremony and she and Charlie had started managing the fire pit as it was freezing outside. I was talking to Hollis and them on the deck when we noticed flames coming up. Dino walked over and told them to cool it on the fire ring.

Later, there was a mass exodus to get at several of the cakes that were provided. Someone said that the kids started cutting the cake and eating it before the brides could get in there to do their slice and feed it to each other. Others said that people were ignoring the caterers serving the slices and were just cutting in a grabbing a bunch of pieces with their forks. I mean, it’s just cake, people. Charlie and I left shortly after that and went over to Brockett for dinner. I had the most amazing patty melt and I was happy.

I’m still tired from the weekend despite taking it easy yesterday. This week is Hell week at Orangetheory. If we make it there 5 out of 8 days to work out starting today thru Halloween we get this skull t-shirt. I’m going to try but I only hope I don’t end up getting a really bad cold after this week. I’m planning on drinking some smoothies and eating well this week so hopefully I’ll make it.

Next weekend, we’re doing the Halloween ride with the Hags like we did last year. Rooster has a whole new agenda of places we’re going. What are your plans for Halloween?  I will leave you with this appropriately named drink recipe:

The Wedding Slinger

  • 1.25 ounces of 77 Local Rye and Corn Whisky
  • .5 ounce of Carpano Antica Formula Sweet Vermouth
  • 2 dashes of orange bitters
  • Ginger Ale
  • Cocktail cherry

 

 

 

new mods

I finally got the fenders and tank back from the painter a few weeks ago. Saturday, Drewberry came over and put it together for me. I did a lot of holding of the tank and handing of beers while he worked. A few glitches were one of the screws broke off putting one of the tank badges back on and we had to use doubled sided tape to keep it on while I ordered another set of screws. Then, the gaskets on the fuel supply valve were cracked and leaking so he had to fashion a piece of rubber (from the existing tail light that we did not install) which seemed to plug up the leak but I still order another set of those, too.

The final modifications were the fender eliminator kit on the back (the back fender which is solid black is staying wrapped up until I decide if I ever want to put it back on again) that includes a new tail light. New café style seat, newly painted tank and front fender with a stripe down the middle. Here are some pics:

Last night, Charlie and I rode down to Victory sandwich bar and met up with Link. As we were pulling into the lot we almost ran over Sharon just getting off the train from work who ended up joining us. After a bite to eat and lively conversation about ex’s we went out to look at all the bikes that had parked since we sat down. We were standing outside looking at bikes and talking when a young woman came up and asked to join us. She pointed over to a BMW that was hers and we all chatted and joked around as we’re winking at Sharon going, Girl you should get her number!

She’s only 23!

So? 23 backwards is 32 your age – it’s meant to be!

We left leaving Sharon to get the girls phone number. It was a fun night and nice to ride again.

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ex’s, rats and apple watches

rat

Last Saturday Sadie had her test to become a therapy dog and both she and Charlie passed with flying colors. I wasn’t worried, honestly – despite Sadie being my dog initially her and Charlie have a special bond – even the examiner said so.

I took both to drop them off for their test and headed over to catch both the soccer and UGA game at the local pub. After downing a Guinness and heading back I got a text from Charlie saying they were running late. I only received this after I’d gotten back since I was on my tablet and it signs off texts after a while. I was on my tablet because –

-my iPhone (7) was sitting next to my Apple watch (1st gen) updating. I’ll get more in to that in a bit.

So, once I got back I was sitting in the car with the windows down and these two ladies came out and asked if I was Lanie and I said, Yes. They said I could come inside and wait if I didn’t want to sit in the hot car and I said that’s ok I didn’t mind I was in the shade anyway. They went back inside and then some blonde woman came out and looked around then turned and looked right at me and went back inside. It took me a moment but I thought she looked just like someone I went out with years ago and once I noted that she had an Alabama t-shirt on I swore it was her.

Later, after driving home with Charlie reliving her and Sadie’s testing she related that there were other women in there doing scenarios of talking loud, yelling and slamming things around to see if they could get a reaction out of Sadie – this was part of the exam (which, she didn’t have any reaction at all).

What was the blonde woman’s name?

Uh, I can’t remember, um….

Was it Beverly?

Yes, that was her name! Wait! You know her?

I went out with her for, like a minute, a long time ago.

It just figures that I run in to yet another one of your ex-girlfriends.

(Our friend, Link always jokes that I’ve dated everyone in Atlanta and when I say, No, I don’t think Charlie believes me. I get that look. I told Link, Quit saying that. You’ll give the girl a complex.)

I always say, That was then, this is now, baby! to Charlie.

So, once home we were getting ready to go out for a celebratory beer when I checked my watch. It was still updating. At this point I was ready to throw the thing out the window. I specifically waited until the new version came out and the older ones went on sale because I wanted a stainless steel one and was not about to pay $500 for it. (this from someone who once paid the cost of a car WAY more for a Rolex which I sold to buy a motorcycle but that’s another story). It had spent ALL NIGHT updating and then most of the next day. I had to reboot both my phone and watch three times in order for the update to take. I was wondering if I’d gotten a bad watch. I unplugged it and went and set it on the box thinking I was going to take it back the next day. Later, I thought, I will try it one.more.time just to see if it will go and when I picked it up and, voila, it was updated. Yeah, it only took 2 days! These apple updates are getting somewhat short of ridiculous in my book.

The other night, Charlie and I were driving back from having dinner at the 57th Fighter Club. It was nice sitting out there watching the planes come in. It’s finally cooled off here and the club lit the fire pit while we were sitting on the patio. This was the first time we’d tried this place. We’re trying to break out of our regular scene and try new places.

On the way home Charlie said, it just figures I run in to yet another girlfriend of yours.

You haven’t met that many ex-girlfriends of mine.

Yes, I have.

Ok, so you met Bird, Lee and Beverly – that’s it.

No, I’ve met monkey lady, too. Remember when she brought her dog into the vet and I had to check her in?

Oh yeah, that’s right. How unfortunate.

So, why did you break up with them?

Rats.

What’s wrong?

No, I mean because of rats.

What? Seriously?

Yeah, Beverly had these rats in her condo – she was also a hoarder, by-the-way. Her building super set all these live traps in there and only cleaned them out once a month. She asked me if I would come over and clean them out for her and I said no. She got really mad at me after that and I just blew her off and we stopped going out. We weren’t really hitting it anyway. She ended up getting married to a man after that so she was never really lesbian material.

What about monkey lady?

Oh, well one night I went over there  and we’d had a couple of bourbons and her friend, Lorraine called and said there was a stench so bad in her house that she needed us to come over and find the dead animal in her walls. We ran over there with a drill and jig saw. After drilling several holes in their newly painted stairwell wall we discovered after prying up a couple of stairs and looking down into the crawlspace that it was under there. I had to shimmy down there and get it out. After that, I got the rep of removing rats and there was another night monkey lady called me and asked me to go crawling around in her attic to find these rats that had been getting into her house and I refused. She got very angry and started yelling at me about it. So, like before I just blew her off after that. We weren’t hitting it either. I’d gotten tired of her yelling at me about rats.

That’s weird. Why do you get stuck killing rats – in your house and others peoples?

Yeah, remember Ellen? I had to go over there and kill a rat for her, too.

I remember that. I was afraid you’d get rabies.

And, right after that conversation in the car we got home and let the dogs out and was enjoying a whiskey when Sadie started looking at the grill.

What is it, Sadie?

Charlie went over and opened the lid and turned on one of the burners and just then…..

……you guessed it- a rat ran out. Sadie chased it around the side of the house and then suddenly it came running towards me. I jumped up as I saw a grey blur run by with Sadie in tow. Sadie never got it but she was looking for it the rest of the night. And, so was I.

I don’t know what it is about ex’s, rats and Apple watches-but it is what it is.