hurricane central

I hope everyone had a hurricane-free weekend. I know there are a lot of us in Texas, the Gulf, Florida, coastal and island areas who are over the hurricane season already.

We have friends in Florida who are still without power from Irma. Everyone that we knew made it through the storm physically ok but had a lot of their property damaged. Charlie’s folks, kids and bro fared ok – they were all very lucky. In Georgia we got a scary storm both Monday and Tuesday of last week. Wind blew several large oaks down in our part of town. There were stop lights out for several days and trees down blocking intersections and cutting out power. Our neighbor across the street had a tree in his neighbor’s yard split and land straight across his driveway cutting out his power and cable. The tree laid there for a week before he was able to get out there to saw it up. Charlie felt sorry for him and grabbed her saw and went over to help. A huge branch broke off our neighbor’s tree behind us and landed in the back – narrowly missing our beloved bar shed. We have friends north of here in Gainesville, GA that had a tree fall across their entire house making it unlivable. Unfortunately, their landlord is a huge dick and won’t return their calls, wants to keep their rent they just paid for the month and their deposit. On top of all that they were staying at a friend’s house and their dog got away and they’ve been looking for her for two days now.

All this storm stuff and another one is on the way. I only hope it misses everyone so people who suffered the last one can take a breath. Charlie’s folks are supposed to come up for the week and called yesterday to say they may not be up because of the next storm. I was like, Wait a minute – it doesn’t work like that – it’s even more of a reason to get up here as soon as possible. Family can be so unreasonable at times. I fully believe the children become the adults and the parents regress back to 9 year olds. I feel like the next phone conversation is going to be me saying, Don’t make me come down there. We shall see where the week takes us.

Last week after the storm we were pretty busy. Charlie had a ton of cleanup work for the landscaping company and we went to our first Taiko club practice. The group was getting ready for a performance at the Japan festival this past weekend so it was their last rehearsal before then. We only got to play the numbers we knew with them and just hung out afterwards. They have another performance this coming weekend as I said in the previous post that we’re planning on going to. After that it is my hope that the rehearsals try to get us up to speed on the songs that we don’t know.

Friday we went to another backyard concert at our friends house (the ones we got the idea of our backyard music thing from). Kate Coleman opened for Granville Automatic. They were fantastic and we really enjoyed them. Below is a few videos of them:

Saturday, Charlie and I just took it easy. Mostly I worked on installing these security camera’s that our friends down the street gave us. This past week Charlie and I had our cars rifled through because stupid us left our doors unlocked. So, no more of that. I installed two of the cameras in the car port, one at the front door and the other in the living room. It works pretty well when we’re not at home. It alerts me when Sadie is barking out the window – probably because the mail person is driving by.

Sunday, we had our friends from down the street and B. Ferris over for a post hurricane party. They are two couples Holly & Darren and Andy & Rosie who live next to each other who we befriended when one couple became clients of ours. They are a total blast and it seems like a week doesn’t go by without meeting at one of their houses or ours for a beer or something to eat. The four of them showed up in Darren’s golf cart with food and hurricane drink concoctions. We sat outside and ate & drank, watched football, the guys played darts and watched the game at the shed and later Charlie had a fire. It was a nice end to the weekend and I certainly didn’t want to get up and go to work this morning.

I’m surely ready for a vacation – Colorado where there are no hurricanes.

 

 

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3 Taiko songs and a funeral

Last week I went to Indy for my step mother’s funeral. Fortunately, I had an opportunity to go up there the end of July to spend some time with her and process it. I will probably save another post about that for later but –  I was ready to get back to Atlanta the following Saturday. I did want to get back because we had our drum recital on Sunday. After taking Taiko lessons for almost 3 months I didn’t want to miss the finale.

Once we were there we ran through our (3) songs and then the regular group came in to play. We’d only heard them play this one song so when they started to play all these other songs we hadn’t heard we were blown away. I was kinda like, Yeah we suck. But later the group assured us that they have been playing together for over 2 years (which, by Japanese standards is an infantile amount of time to hone the craft of Taiko drumming).

This is a video I took of them:

I really didn’t think anyone would show up for our recital but then Emil, LB and Benji’s new gf from out of town showed up. Charlie was really nervous but I wasn’t that bad. Afterwards, we went next door for post recital libations.

Tonight, we’re going to our first real rehearsal since the recital. We were asked to join the group afterwards by Peter our instructor. Apparently, according to Ginny in the group not everyone who takes the class is asked the join. By no means do I think we were asked the join because of our Taiko prowess but for the fact that we’re fun and we get along with the group – which, is primarily all women except for two men. I had already decided if this one meth head guy that was in our class joined that I wasn’t going to join because every time he was in class I wanted to throw my stick at him. He was the most annoying guy EVER. Frequently, in our sessions he would be back there dicking around playing his drum when Peter was trying to talk to us about something. This guy toted that he was a “drummer” and knew how to drum already. (So was I but I wasn’t saying anything). Constantly he was asking about the music and how to play a certain part we were working on. There were only a few of us – myself included – who could read music but Peter would put words above the notes to read so it would be a natural beat. Charlie caught on quite well and so did the rest of us except this guy who SAID he was a “drummer”. (And, most musicians I know who play drums call themselves percussionists not drummers) Fortunately, our last class Peter announced that “Kip-dip”was no longer going to join us because he was pursuing an opportunity and had to go out of town. Great – go cook your meth in Telluride, mf-er, I thought.

I think Peter was a little sad to lose another guy but I really don’t think he would have been asked to join as we later learned most of the other’s in our class didn’t like this guy either. Peter wants more men in the group but he says a lot of men who take the class want to be able to perfect it in just a few sessions and frequently get frustrated and quit. I just remember being in band and practicing the same numbers over and over again for shows. We practiced those songs daily, sometimes on the weekends -or- at band camp. We memorized everything, too. So, from only practicing once a week I would think there will need to be a lot of at home practice to get up to speed to perform shows –which is what we’ll eventually do. Right now we’re so green that we’ll need to practice with the group for a while before we do a show with them. Charlie and I scored some Congo drums from her son and we’re going to start practicing on those. I need to get us some felt tipped mallets so we won’t ruin the heads. Taiko drums are INSANELY expensive or else we would have a couple already to practice on. Peter has a whole video on youtube on how to make a drum out of an old tire (I’m actually surprised that Charlie hasn’t started this project yet) we have a lot going on right now – we may have her youngest and his gf up this weekend from Florida. They have been without power all week and are over it but gasoline shortage is still a problem down there. Benji’s gf that came up to get away from the storm said it took her 12 hours to get back to Jacksonville yesterday. Charlie’s parents are coming up next week to visit and fortunately the Taiko group is performing on The Beltline so we’re going to take them to that and support our new group.

Friday we have our friends doing a backyard concert again – the first of this year. Saturday we have the neighbors coming up to make post-hurricane drinks and I’m sure we’ll have a bunch of food. If I don’t talk to y’all have a great weekend! Cheers!

 

 

 

 

Friday chex mix – the power of No, NFL & Senate Bill 85

So, as you know I’ve been listening to a lot of podcasts lately. The one that’s been a favorite as of late is Dear Sugars.

Some of the topics they have covered really resonate with me. Like, The Power of No. Even Oprah Winfrey came on and threw her 2cents in about it. (I’m not a huge Oprah fan but I appreciated what she had to say on the topic).

I thought about instances in my life I coulda-shoulda said No. Like all those times I let my sister bully me into going home to Indiana only to run around and do whatever it was she wanted to do or help her do stuff around her house. Even the time it was supposed to be my birthday party and I was the one helping with the food and getting everyone’s drinks. This last time I went home I skipped even telling her I was going because I wanted to be on my own.

The next party invite I’m saying No to some. I will not be bullied or talked in to inviting people that I don’t enjoy. (I think you know who I’m talking about).  And, tonight – we were supposed to go down to Joe’s for Trivia and a. we really don’t have the $$ to spend on drinks and food right now and b. it’s raining outside and it won’t be any fun not being able to sit on the patio and c. I have a really intense interview the next morning – while I’ve prepared as much for it as I can I really need to get some good sleep and not be hung over in the a.m.

So, it’s decided – NO. Ah, the power of No. If only I could have been doing this sooner.

Next day…..

The interview went as well as a behavioral one can go. I felt as prepared as I could possibly be and the hour went fast. Now I wait to see if I will get a call from the company recruiter for a meet and greet. If I get no call that means I didn’t score the way they wanted their next candidate to score on the interview and it’s probably not meant to be anyway. But, I feel like I did well.

So, is it me or does it seem like preseason football isn’t really worth watching? The teams you expect to win are 0-30 and the ones you expect to get creamed are the opposite. Let’s get on with it, shall we? I don’t plan on watching anymore football until Sept. 7th (Go KC).

Today marks the first day in Atlanta that craft breweries can sell their products – at least Nathan Deal did something I approve of -by signing Senate Bill 85 the breweries now become bars. That’s great because if I had to look at another beer yeast vat in order to sip my 2 oz beer tasting I was going to scream. If you’ve seen one beer vat you’ve seen them all. Tonight, we’re heading out to Wild Heaven Brewery which is in our part of the ‘hood. (If only we had a golf cart to ride on down there in).

Other than that we have no planz for the holiday weekend so with that I will y’all a happy one and cheers!

 

Friday chex mix – podcasts & chillin’

It’s time for another Friday chex mix edition. I regret I haven’t written a whole lot lately – sometimes, I just have all kinds of ideas just floating around in my head doing nothing.

I feel like just when I’m catching my stride with work someone comes along and just trips me up. I was speaking to a colleague the other day – this is someone I always go to for answers – one of my go-to guys. I’d always liked this guy until this past Wednesday.

I don’t know about y’all but when I go to ask something from anyone I always preface it with a good morning or a good afternoon, how are you and so forth. I like to gauge someone’s day before I ask to take anything from them – such as information, a favor, etc. If they’re having a bad day I move on and decide to ask them something at another time. That’s just me – I’m polite.

This guy wasn’t answering my ‘Good morning’ skype messages. Finally, I called him and said, ‘What’s up?’ We usually have a pretty funny back and forth dialogue so when he started in on me about my ‘stupid skype messages’ and that I should just call him and ask my f*cking questions. I was a little taken aback. I blinked back tears and wondered if it was just early menopause creeping up or if indeed he was being a real a-hole. He pretty much berated me for the design I sent him to look at, told me that I was the rookie on the team and that ‘everyone’ knows I have questions so ask my question and quit bugging him on skype. By the time we hung up I vowed I wasn’t going to ask him d*ck until hell froze over. I went for a walk and applied to three jobs after that. I’ve been trying to walk a couple of miles every day. It doesn’t take long out of my schedule and it’s completely doable. It also clears my head of all the stuff that’s running around in there. I’ve been listening to podcasts while I walk, too. This one particular podcast, Sincerely X is really good.

Our friend Benji turned us on to this one podcast Up and Vanished. It’s about a lady in Ocilla, GA who disappears. I admit I was addicted up until the 16th podcast and then I was done. I won’t give anything away and will let you decide if you happen to listen to it. So now I’ve been kind of addicted to these podcast things. (If anyone has a particular one they would like to share please put it in the comments section of this post.)

This past Tuesday Charlie and I went out to Cowtippers to support our friend who was competing in bartender wars. It was sponsored by El Jimador tequila and the drink(s) she made were dangerous. Needless to say she won the competition. She is our hands down favorite bartender in Atlanta.

Tonight, we’re just doing a little dart party at the 143 shed in back and Benji and Emil may come over. Maybe Maybe-Nicole, too. We’ll see. We don’t have a lot of plans for the weekend so we’ll just be grillin’ and chillin’.

Hope y’all have a great weekend, cheers!

concerts & kicked out

I’m so exhausted this morning. Last night we went to see Counting Crows with Matchbox 20 with Emil and Maybe-Nicole and the Thursday before that we also saw Emily Saliers play at Edie’s Attic for the late show.  We had a lot of fun and I enjoyed both shows but I’m showed out for a while.

(Charlie and Emil with photobomb lady in the background)

In between all the concerts, we went to friends down the street for dinner, saw Benji and managed to make an hour of drum practice yesterday.

So, Charlie and I made the decision to sell her Harley on cycle trader simply because we’d like to streamline our debt a little more and get out from under the payments. Once we sell hers I’m probably going to sell mine but it’s not really necessary because it’s paid for and I can always ride her on the back of mine. Charlie first posted an ad on Facebook in case any of her peeps on there were interested – plus, they could share it with friends of theirs. She no more got it posted on FB when Shutter asked why she was selling and Charlie said she just wanted to at this time that wasn’t to say that she, me, us would never ride again. Next thing you know – we get thrown out of the motorcycle group that we were in with Link, Shutter and Rooster – Rooster had created the Meetup page and kicked us off of there.

That kind of chapped my –well- chaps over that. I mean, this is not to say we’ll even get the Harley sold – and if not then we’ll keep it, ride and keep on. Whatever. I didn’t think we deserved to be kicked out of the group for that. Granted we hadn’t ridden with the group for a while but that didn’t mean we’d never ride with them again – until now. But, hey – now that I’m no longer a member of the group I will say this – I never really liked riding with the group. Don’t get me wrong – I liked everyone as people – just not riding with them in a group. Rooster always led the group and honestly would ride a little too fast for my taste up the busy 4-lane street in Atlanta (that she always insisted that we take to get out of town) when anyone could and would pull out in front of you. What happened to space cushion?? The last time we went barreling up Candler Road I spaced myself back and when one of the girls on her Harley got her hazard light stuck on for an hour and we had to pull off into a gas station we got lectured on riding faster to keep up.

I wanted to say, B*tch, I don’t keep up with anyone when I’m on this machine. I ride my own mf-ing ride. If I’m going too slow then you just go on and I’ll see you another time.  

It’s probably not helping their cause that I have 10 years of being a motorcycle instructor under my belt and this stuff is ingrained into my behavior and brain.

Also, Rooster has no GPS and relays on some paper with directions rubber-banded to her arm. After a long, hot ride to Macon for a history lesson (now those I did enjoy) and lunch on the way back I was running my GPS and it showed that unless we wanted to extend our trip another 2 hours that we should turn at this one particular intersection. Charlie and I pulled off into the gas station at the intersection and they circled around and back and asked what was up.

Gas, and we’re turning here.

This isn’t on my directions – we were going to ride closer to Athens and then turn back. By then, the paper with the directions had blown by us and had been lost on the road and I didn’t have a whole lot of confidence she really knew where the F we were going. But, I knew because I had GPS.

That’s fine but we’re going this way. Enjoy getting lost the rest of the ride.

And, we left. Which, brings me to the question as to why, if you’re leading a group of riders don’t you get some sort of GPS device on your bike so there won’t be any confusion? Or ask someone like myself to lead.

But, no that would be too hard and too advanced.

Maybe it is a good thing we got kicked out of the group. Charlie and I were going on our own rides anyway. It’s just easier to get an early start and go and get back so the day isn’t all taken up. That group would plan a trip to Birmingham and wait until 10:00 to leave and get back at 9:00 and we’d say, No thanks.

I mean, I don’t know if I’ll keep riding. Maybe I will, maybe I won’t but I don’t like other people making that decision for me. I mean, I’ve gone to a couple of Meetups for this screen writing group – I don’t go all the time because it always meets way up in Dunwoody during rush hour and it’s kind of hellish to get there. Even so I haven’t been kicked out of the group. I just find the whole thing to be mystifying.

Has anything like this ever happened to you? Have you ever been kicked out of a group? Became a lesbian and kicked out of the Junior League?

 

 

Censorship, naval gazers and blogging

Years ago when I first started blogging I kept it completely anonymous. None of my friends who lived in town knew about the blog. All of the other people who knew about the blog were other bloggers that I hadn’t met in person at the time. Eventually, some of us did meet but none of them blog anymore.Those were the good ol’ days of blogging. People looked at you in wonder and said, You blog?? Wow…..that’s soooooooo………creative and fun!

Unlike nowadays people look at you like you have a horn coming out of your forehead and say flatly, Oh, so you have a blog.  Said like they’re going to fall over any minute from sheer boredom. Then they say, You’d better not write about me, or that one time, or THEM.

And, hence, censorship.

I want to reply something to the extent of You really think I lay awake at night thinking up a post to write about you or your situation?

The problem is they would actually believe it – that’s a naval gazer for you. They think all you want to write about is them. Sometimes I think they think the reason you started the blog was so you could write about them. I can hear it now:

Me and my girlfriend broke up and now Lanie has started this blog to write about me and my life- f*ck my life!

And, in answer to that – Yes, yes that’s exactly WHY I started a blog is to write about YOU and your life. AND next I’m starting a book about your life so sit down so I can interview you starting from the time you were born. I’m going to write about EVERYTHING.

So, there you have it – it’s all out on the table.(Maybe I should have censored this?)

Then, we have those who have asked me a gazillion times what my blog address is. I’m like, Bitch, I’ve told you 3 times. If they have to ask me that many times for the address then they really aren’t going to actually go there they’re just asking to listen to the sound of their own voice.

Then, other replies to finding out I have a blog are, Oh, maybe I should write a blog.

Yes, maybe you should and name it simply your own name. Or better yet, Navel Gazer – from the beginning. And, whatever you write about I don’t care. If I don’t like what I’m reading I just click on Amazon dot com and order myself a Kindle book and call it a day. I don’t lose sleep over it nor wonder what’s going to be written about me next.

And, I certainly don’t think, Every 30 minutes someone starts a WordPress blog to write about me, Lanie Belluz, OMG! F*ck my life!

weekend recap

The Party

The party went off without a hitch and was very successful. We had several people there and we were even able to convince Charlie’s mom to get on a plane and come up for it. Val, LB and Emil all played and we had some business clients there along with some of our friends. Aside from almost blowing our ears our setting up the amps, once we got the setting down we could jam out.

Asheville

The day after the party me, Charlie and her mom headed up to Asheville, NC to see our friends Liz and Lina. We checked into this AirBnB on the west side of town and they met us over there for a beer before we went out. We grabbed some great tacos at this little place just up the road and then went walking around downtown Asheville for a bit before heading back to the BnB for another drink before hitting the Guitar Bar.

Sadly, the heat got to us a bit after awhile and we left after a few hours to head back to the BnB. We loved seeing our friends and had missed them terribly.

Drum Practice

The next morning we had to be up early to make it back to Atlanta for our Taiko drum lesson (Charlie and I are in an 8 week course). Afterwards we chilled at the Truman with our fav bartender, Josh, and then headed home for darts and then leftovers from the party.

General stuff

I have to go to Indiana this week to see my step mother who isn’t doing well. She got a really bad prognosis a few weeks back and I need to go see her before she passes. I’ve been talking to my cousin and I’m going to stay with him and his husband initially until I know what I’m doing. I really have no plans except to go see my step mother and to meet with the farmer who works my land up there. I haven’t told my sister a thing about it yet because I really don’t want her dictating every moment that I’m there. I’ll let her know once I’m there. I already called my step mother to let her know I’m coming and not to tell her (which, got a laugh out of her). I’m going to be rolling over another bday while I’m up there – maybe I should just stop having bday’s from now on. I’m sure Charlie and I will celebrate when I get back.

friday chex mix – and, another prayer

Friends and Working Out 

Last week, Charlie went to Florida to see the kids and I stayed home and maintained home life with the dogs. Unfortunately, while she was gone we did not have a working dryer. Since I was watching Link’s cats I hauled washed clothes over there to put in her dryer. Saturday, I went to Incubus with Emil and this new girl -I don’t know new girl enough to give her a name. Maybe Nicole – that sounds like a straight girl name, doesn’t it? So, the plan was Emil picking me up and almost killing us in a car accident on the way to pick up Maybe-Nicole to go have dinner prior to the show. I was initially a little skeptical of the evening because originally when we met Maybe-Nicole she didn’t make the best impression on me nor Charlie. I had already told Emil that if I felt like a 3rd wheel then I was outta there. Maybe-Nicole just broke up with her live-in boyfriend and was dipping her toe into the lake of lesbianism with Emil.

[I don’t know about you but is there a gong going on in your head saying DANGER, DANGER, DANGER?]

But, the evening went well – we- um – had some special brownies that kind of enhanced the show. Along with some whiskey that I had snuck in in a special compartment in my bag with pads and tampons thrown on top. All weekend I practiced guitar to no avail. Despite my fingers developing some great calluses on the tips I still suck at guitar. I really do. I will leave the performing to the pros. Emil was supposed to rehearse with me all weekend but she got caught up in this Maybe-Nicole girl. At one point during that evening we were talking about work and Maybe-Nicole trying to make a better impression and be nice asked me what I did. I explained pointing to the wires above that provide service to everything that was around us (so that should tell you I work in utilities and engineering) and Emil said, I don’t think I ever knew that about you. Here’s what I wanted to say, Because every damn time we’re together all you’re talking about is your ex is why. 

I did not say that, of course. But honestly some of our friends they’re either falling off the map because they met a girl or all they have to talk about is said girl. It’s gets so one-dimensional and boring after awhile. Seriously, can we contribute anything to the conversation aside from who you’re screwing, thinking about screwing or wanting to screw right now?? I’m tired of it. It makes me want to start another Meetup group – one of serious conversation or one that people get out and actually DO something other than talk about Tinder. It’s one of the things I really appreciate about some of our friends who do provide thought-provoking conversations that are not always about themselves. I need more of that to feed my brain.

I’ve been going to Orangetheory every night this week to make up for my eating and drinking debauchery of last week. I love it and the more I go the more I want to go. For some reason the subject of our friends and how no one in our group really works out came up last night. Charlie, being the lucky one in landscaping all day doesn’t have to pay for an elevated heart rate and lifts weedeaters and saws in place of dumbbells said, Sure we have friends who work out.

Who? Who do we know other than Todd and Christie who live in Dahlonega and cycle and run all the time do we know?

Neither of us could name anyone. It’s part of the social aspect of why I like group fitness is the outlet to talk to other people who are trying to get fit like myself. (Believe me, I’ve asked some of our friends to come with me to the gym and they look at me as if I’m asking them to join a cult or something. They sort of back away shaking their heads, trying not to trip and fall backwards.) It used to be competition when I was in bootcamp but not so much where I go now. Although, every time we have a rowing competition in the gym this one burly guy always wins it. But, then I think – maybe this is the only thing he wins ever – so then he deserves it. I think most of these people, myself included, could be across the street at the pizza place drinking beer and eating a pie with pesto crust and instead they’re in here sweating their bums off. Working hard. Yes, I’m bitter about the pesto crust as I row and look across the street at the pizza place. There should be a law against putting a Mellow Mushroom across the street from an Orangetheory – it should be a zoning law. Like not being aable to put Industrial next to Residential.

Parties

Charlie and I are getting ready for our music party the Friday after next and going to see our friends in Asheville. We’re still planning food and drink but think we have a handle on it. I know next week is going to be hectic preparing. There’s little things that tick me off about inviting people to parties – like, not RSVP-ing. EVER. Or, when you ask them to they put a comment like, Oh sorry I forgot about this and I made other plans. 

I know it’s a fact of every party thrown that there are always going to be people who never respond without some major arm twisting. Then, there are those who say, We don’t know yet? These are the people who still haven’t made up their mind if they’re going to go to work or not tomorrow. Everything is “We’ll see.” 

Ok, we’ll see if we invite you to the next party, how about that?

This weekend is anything goes – we don’t (at least I don’t think we do) have any plans to speak of but maybe it will be getting ready for the following weekend. Even without the “We’ll see’s” or “Maybe’s” we still have about 20 people confirmed.

Prayers 

In all the mix Link has to have a surgery tomorrow so please send positive thoughts and prayers or even energy today for our dear friend.

 

no acknowledgment

You know, I’m glad it’s over – the mother’s and father’s day weekends. Leading up to the former I would cringe hearing the commercials of “Do something special for Mom this year….” I have a stepmother that I barely acknowledge – I sent her a card with a gift certificate to homophobe central Cracker Barrel. But, it’s a hollow acknowledgment. It’s only because I feel sorry for her for being stupid enough to marry our father and put up with his shit. Ever since our mother died I have felt I have no more parents.

This last weekend I grudgingly sent our father a card and signed my new name. I know he hates it when I do that. For years he and my step mother would make out checks to my old name and I’d have to sign the check over to my new name. They would fail to acknowledge that I had changed my first and last name. I no longer wanted to carry his name as my last name so I changed it to my mother’s maiden name. I did this over a decade ago and it’s just recently they finally acknowledge my real name.  I really didn’t even want to send him a card to be honest. I told my sister that he’s lucky he’s even getting a card this year. (And, you know it’s a real challenge finding dysfunctional father’s day cards. Why can’t there be more cards that say, You were a shitty father and here’s your damn card you can stick up your @ss.)

She was having both him and our step mother over for father’s day dinner. She gets treated even worse by him but she still goes to all the trouble to meet them for lunch the other day and host a lunch for him. I called our step mother yesterday after the dinner – I had felt guilty that I didn’t call to wish him a happy father’s day. She had told me that he was already in bed asleep that when he eats lunch he just goes straight to bed afterwards and sleeps the rest of the day. (They guy is 78 going on 95) I told her to tell him I called whenever he wakes up. As I was talking to her my sister was trying to call me so after hanging up I called her back.

She told me the minute they got to her house they sat down and started eating without any conversation whatsoever. She had a few other guests present as well so I’m sure it must have seemed very awkward. Then, the minute they finished eating they got up and our father told her they were leaving. She asked if they’d stay 10 more minutes so he could open his card and he said no they were leaving now. She went and got his card and gave it to him and said, See ya, and they left.

I wasn’t surprised by the rudeness of his visit. He’s always treated her like a lowly piece of shit. Ever since after running away for the third time and him catching her and beating the shit out of her he’s treated her like that. I told her on the phone that I don’t know why she still does it – that she needs to stop. No more dinners, no more anything. She said she thought she was done. I told her she needed to be. Then, she said she didn’t know what she was going to do about his birthday. I said, SEND HIM A CARD AND BE DONE WITH IT.

Honestly, I wouldn’t even acknowledge it if I were her. I wonder why I do?

His birthday is near mine. I’ll never forget the time she concocted some scheme for me to come home and surprise him with a double birthday party she was hosting. My plane no more touched down in Indianapolis when she told me that when she told him I came up to surprise him and that she was having a party for us he said that he wouldn’t be around all weekend that he had a thing at church and he was too busy. We had a party anyway but really no one in our family really cares about anyone or anything – except eating. Usually, if there’s food they will come. All the people in our family that gave a shit are already dead. Our mother, our grandparents on our mother’s side – they’re the only people who cared. Our father’s side is just filled with people who don’t care about anyone.

And, they wonder why I don’t ever come home. Why should I? I’ve learned to move on long ago. I talk to our father three times a year – father’s day, his birthday and Christmas. I don’t really care and I admit my sister can be very difficult at times, too. She has a little of our father’s meanness in her but despite that it makes me really angry that he treated her that way. Maybe I should just stop acknowledging his birthday and calling at Christmas. I think I will say something to our step mother the next time I talk to her. I am so sick and tired of people letting their partners, husbands, wives, significant others walk all over them. They are enablers, sure. I am sick and tired of enablers. Enablers are just as bad as the people that do the acts. Because they are too weak to step up and tell people that they’re doing wrong or being @ssholes.

I’m so done with certain people. My sister’s dinner party almost contrasts the dinner party that we had that went south a few weeks ago. I am so done with them, too. Since there was no apology or acknowledgement of what happened that night it makes me not want to even acknowledge the next invitation that will not arrive in their mail. Fuck doing things with them anymore if I always have to worry about Dino being an @ss. Why should I waste the time and energy cooking a meal, buying booze, setting a table and buying desert when she’s just going to ruin it and be disrespectful. Why should I even try? And, if I do bring it up and acknowledge it guess who’s going to be the bad guy – ME.

The new clients that we recently got from the bad review on the neighborhood Nextdoor invited us over for dinner last night. It’s such a luxury to be invited somewhere for once as we ALWAYS entertain and send out the invites. We hit it off and later driving home Charlie said, I hope they like us.

What’s not to like?

I don’t know. I just hope they don’t think we’re crazy.

After all this, why would anyone think we’re crazy? Because we’re normal?

 

 

 

the weekend

Friday evening Link and Stiletto met us down at a Elmyriachi for dinner and then we moved on to darts at a pub in downtown Decatur. This place just happens to be located right next to Benjis apartment and she ended up meeting us down there. We had a fun and pretty late evening and the next morning I was feeling it. We were to meet up with Benji and Emil to go to Tunes in the Tomb. After much freaking planning, we picked up Benji and drove down there and miraculously found free parking on the street. The event had three stages with different performers but honestly, we mostly stood around drinking beer and talking. The one highlight was as we were walking around (trying to find a beer tent that would give me a free PBR sweatband) we heard this group of drummers play Taiko which ultimately led to me and Charlie signing up for an 8-week course.

We eventually decided to blow the Tunes taco stand and head for a real taco stand, Mezcalito’s, next door. Emil had been whining wanting to go there for some time to eat with us so we did. After dinner, Charlie and I Lyft’d it back to the house while Benji and Emil went on to see another concert at the City Winery.

Sunday, we smoked ribs and corn in our new smoker and had Emil over for dinner and to play her guitar. Since we had Benji’s dog, Squid, she ended up coming for dinner as well. Between the two of them, though, they had their faces into their cellphones comparing Tinder dates. I had to shut it down after a while saying, Ok, let’s put the cell phones away and have a conversation like adults. Geez, I felt like such a parent but sometimes it’s really annoying. (Single friends should just leave their Tinder dating app at home.)

I’ve been teaching myself a few chords on the guitar so (according to Emil) I can play along with her the next time she’s over. I learned A, D & E so far (A is a bi-otch, btw). We’re trying to get some concerts going in our backyard but we’ll see. I have a feeling it’s going to be an impromptu show with little planning that just happened. Val is coming down from Maine in July and I’m really hoping between her, Emil and LB we can get something going. Link has already said she’d supply the microphones and between all of us surely we can find an amplifier. Maybe I’ll know FIVE chords by then, who knows.