one more time

I originally thought that I would teach this one last class and be done with it since my friend had signed up for it because she wanted me as an instructor. Then, when things went south with that class I thought – once I get paid and teach that last one in April then I’ll be done.

But, the universe was telling me different.

The night before I quit I slept very poorly. I woke up and my clothes were all sweaty and I was shivering. I had this dream that I was back at this very terrible company I worked for 6 years ago. During my time there I took Xanax regularly because I had panic attacks all the time. I had a boss who would scream at us in meetings and another one who constantly harassed me because I was a woman. I was even sexually harassed there by another woman. One time while I was there I even broke out into shingles I was so stressed out. They really did me a favor in laying me off in 2009. However, it was a very bad lesson to learn. Because of being laid off – I lost my BMW, I had to file bankruptcy and I was unemployed for over a year before I went to the last job at the DOD. [And, can you just imagine how embarrassing it is to have your neighbors who you have lived next to for years see a tow truck come and take your car right out of the driveway?] But, like I said – they really did me a favor laying me off because I would have gone on working for them and being miserable. Ironically now they are one of my consultants and they work for me.  The first week I was at my new job their snake of a VP caught me in the elevator and tried to suck up to me. I just looked right through her.

In the dream I had decided to work for them part time along with my full time job – like the motorcycle gig. People were treating me ok to my face but when I tried to go find a restroom they didn’t have any. [I always have dreams about not getting to a restroom in time, or not being able to find one, or finding one and it’s too dirty to use or all the stalls are full – I don’t know what that’s about that but I think it has to do with anxiety].

So, I sat at the bar thinking about this and decided that the universe was telling me something in the dream and between that and everything that happened lately I needed to do something or else something really bad was going to happen. Like say – I teach one more class and someone gets really hurt or even killed on my watch. It changes my life forever – that one.last.class. I mean, I’ve been fortunate in teaching that the most someone’s ever gotten hurt is from a broken leg. [Although, that was pretty serious – the student at the time was going into shock, it was cold outside, we were covering her up, we called 911, I had to call her husband who was a cop and he came right over in the squad car with a prisoner he was transporting in the back. But they had great things to say about us and handling it]. But, back to that – the universe was saying if you don’t let this go it’s going to get even worse. So, I took another drink and wrote out that very short resignation.

But, let me tell you one of my favorite one more time stories. It wasn’t about me but two other instructors, Dan and Paula. They were teaching together and on their last exercise of the day on Sunday doing an exercise called “the box” where it’s very tight turns in the limited space of a box. They have to do a really tight U-turn left and then one right. So, they were running it and Paula said to Dan, “Ok, they’ve had enough. Let’s end this and start the evaluation.”

“Let’s give them one more time.”

So, they did. They had a few riders who were very weak in this exercise – why Dan wanted to give them another chance before the test to nail it. One of the weak riders entered the box and as she was doing her second turn to the right hit the throttle and took off towards the line of people sitting on their bikes waiting their turn to go. She managed to hit two of them –one diving off the bike before she hit it and the other going down as she clipped the back of it.

Both instructors acted quickly in assessing if everyone was ok. Paula was next to the woman who hit the other two who was ok. The other guy who got clipped was fine and had already gotten up and brushed himself off but his motorcycle had to be replaced because of a broken brake lever. Dan was next to the guy who had dived off his bike checking him for injuries and talking to him. He didn’t appear to have any and when he asked him if he needed help up he said, “I feel a little faint.”

“Ok, do you want us to call an ambulance?”

“No, I’m just – is the other lady ok?”

“Yes, she’s fine, why?”

“Because there’s her hair laying there”, pointing, “did she get her head caught in the chain or something.”

Both Paula and Dan went over to investigate. The hair he was referring to was a weave the woman was wearing and apparently it had come off when she hit them and was laying on the range.

Paula looked darkly at Dan and said, “One more time, huh?”

So, fortunately no one was hurt but that cost them an additional hour on their day of switching out motorcycles, letting people chill a bit before the test and writing up accident reports.

But, it could have been worse be-weave me.




gone girl

Please accept this message as notification of my resignation as rider coach at the MSF facility in [City near Atlanta] as of today March 11, 2015. 

I have arranged for the personal items I left there to be returned to me so no further contact is necessary.


I sent that to the two managers as I sat at the bar having a beer and waiting for Charlie’s prescription to be filled. Not more than two minutes went by and the bitch was calling me. I casually reached over and hit the Decline button. She can fuck off.

A day later I get an email from two of the guys I used to work with saying, “Heard you retired”. I looked down in the body of the message [which, I might add was never sent to me] and there was this:

Hey Everyone!!

Good morning!!  Just wanted to give a heads up that Lanie has decided to retire from teaching at the MSF Campus. Lanie put in a lot of great years working with students!!  We wish her nothing but happiness and the best !!!

Please get in touch with me if you have any coach referrals that may want to work with us. Would like to meet with any interested prospects. I prefer someone that isn’t already teaching a lot at other sites.


Normally, when coaches retire they send out a message to everyone saying, Hey, I’m retiring. It’s been a blast and I will miss working with you all… – blah, blah, blah. Me – I sent out nothing. The few people who messaged  me got cryptic replies back with no details. Those who are on my FB know a little more detail since I posted something.  I figure K can fill Peter in this weekend when he’s teaching MY class and then everyone will know the story because rider coaches gossip like a bunch of old women anyway. And, yes, I did put in a lot of great years there and don’t deserve to be treated like I did. So, it’s over and it feels great not to worry about it anymore.


Today it’s been a week and 2 days since Charlie got out of the hospital from having surgery. I took her to the doctor yesterday so they could remove her temporary cast from surgery and put on a new one that will remain for the next 6 weeks. We both have been looking forward to losing the old cast with the drain attached. That thing makes it a bi-otch to get pants over it [although it did ensure we had privacy at the bar the other day as the woman sitting at the table next to us – when she spied it moved to the other side of the bar and we were able to stretch out].

Things have been really hectic with me taking care of everything and really slow for Charlie trying to heal. I think we would both gladly trade places right now – let me sit on my butt for a while and you can run around – gosh, I wish we could do that.  Friends have been by to bring food, sit and talk, visit and just help in general. Although, we had so much company last week and Charlie’s friend, B, coming in from Florida over the weekend that we were pretty worn out by Sunday.

I have realized that there is only so much I can deal with and will let Charlie deal with. I have taken her phone away a couple of times because of certain people who will remain nameless calling and upsetting her.

Other things I haven’t been able to deal with is the motorcycle shit. The site manager and I have been going around and around about stuff lately and was kind of a raging bitch because I had to leave my class and could not work that Sunday because Charlie had surgery. That is -until she found someone to step in and replace me.  That was the straw that broke the camels’ back. So, I’m quitting, however, I was waiting to teach this class with my friend in it this weekend and I see that she’s put her in K and Peter’s class and cancelled my class. So I plan on sending in my notice. I mean, I know that we could probably use the extra $$ right now by me working that job but mentally I’m not there. I hate it all. I mean, I can’t teach people if I don’t give a rats ass about the program, them, the site manager, all of it. And, do you think she once texted or called to ask about Charlie? Nope. There are so many other things I could be doing for myself and Charlie that are more positive than working for an organization that doesn’t give a rats @ss about their instructors. At this point I’d rather cut grass.

I have been going to work at my regular job and then coming home in the afternoons and sometimes working there. I’ve been carrying my laptop around everywhere I go. I’m very fortunate that I have the type of job that a lot of my work can be done remotely. Very thankful! So, that job is going well and I love it. Maybe I should focus more on a promotion instead of teaching, anyway. I think all of this is the universe trying to send messages like, You don’t need to do this anymore and you need to do more of that instead. 

So I will.

miller time turned into……

….shit. Saturday I was teaching a class with K. We had had the normal share of difficult students – one I had to dive out of the way before he hit the fence. When I picked it up and rolled it off the range and gave him another one he said, “This one feels better” Yeah, blame the bike why don’t you – it was the same damn bike.
I had been texting Charlie and she said she was taking Black Fury out. She wrote back that she had a great ride, it cornered well and that she took it through the neighborhood. Later, we were doing a split exercise, I was bringing people in on bikes and sending people out and she called. I knew it had to be an emergency for her to call while I was teaching as she knows I have my hands full. As I’m telling people to shut down I answered.

You know how people talk really calm when they’re not so calm? That was how the neighbor was talking on Charlie’s cell phone.

“Lanie, yes Deborah here. [she never calls herself her entire first name so I knew something was up] Yes, well Charlie has had a little accident. [I hear Charlie moaning in the background] and the paramedics are here.”

My stomach dropped to my feet. She’s wrecked Black Fury.

“She wrecked the bike.”

“No, no she fell off the ladder. There’s some blood and – [talking in the background more moaning from Charlie] let me call you back.”

Just in time for me to send out the people I just parked and bring more in. K is looking at me like he knows something’s up because I would never be on the phone while I’m trying to park people. Thankfully, this group was done with the exercise and after telling them to shut down, dismount and discuss I walked out and told him what was up. He asked if I needed to book and I said I was waiting for the neighbor to call me back.

Call back. “Lanie, Deborah again. Tom [her husband] is taking Charlie to the hospital. [more moaning in the background].”

“What happened?”

“She fell off the ladder and hurt her ankle – we think it’s broken and there was a big cut on the side that we had a time stopping the bleeding. So, Tom is going to take her to DeKalb Medical.”

“Ok, let me talk to her.”

After talking to a moaning Charlie I said I would meet her there as soon as possible. By then K and I were running the next exercise and I gave him our shut off signal meaning I had to go. He had texted me that he would send them to the gate and once I parked them I could take off – which, I did. I merged onto 400 and was immediately stopped because there was a 3 car pileup and they were stopped to move the cars off the highway. So – an hour later I arrived at the hospital. Fortunately, when I found Charlie in the ER she was already plugged up to a morphine drip. Good thing about this hospital if you come in bleeding they see you right away. Her ankle was still bleeding. What appeared to be a broken ankle and cut turned out to be a crushed heel that was a compound fracture –causing the bleeding. So, it was a very serious break and one that couldn’t heal properly without surgery.

My ex Bird came by after she got off her shift. Then, Cindi showed up. We were all crowded into her curtained room. The woman next door to Charlie’s curtain was heaving ever minute or so and every time she did the conversation stopped. At one point I heard her mumble that she needed some alcohol up in here and I said under my breath, You know it, sister. They had to admit her that night and surgery was going to be the next day. I kept going in and out of the room to talk to Charlie’s family on the phone.

Much later, we got her to a room and settled down. Finally, at about midnight she fell asleep and Cindi and I slipped out of the room to go down to the parking deck to charge my phone and to drink the Fireball she brought me. We sat in the deck talking and me drinking when Ellen pulled up with phone charging cords and beer that I requested. She got into Cindi’s car and we talked until Cindi had to go home and go to bed. Ellen and I snuck up to Charlie’s room and I went in and checked on her and grabbed my phone cord. She woke a little and I told her to go back to sleep that I’d be back in three hours. They had given her Benedrill with her morphine and it had knocked her out. The neighbors had been letting the dogs out while I was at the hospital. When I got home they jumped into bed with me and we all crashed. This was 2 a.m. They were stressed I could tell. Deb had barely been able to get Bailey into the house after the accident. Sunday afternoon she had surgery – fortunately, they were able to put her heel back together with only six screws. She came out of it really well and was starving. Monday I was able to take her home. There have been so many friends helping out and bringing food over – all our friends have been really, really great -our families – not so much. They have added more stress to the situation in my opinion.  At some point yesterday I took Charlie’s cell phone away from her and said, It’s time to relax, no more conversations, no more texting and FB. Finally, after feeding her the fettuccini that Steph brought over, watching The Walking Dead and giving her a bath I was able to get her to relax.

I’m sure I’ll write more later but this is a start….

miller time

Ever had days where FaceBook just pisses you off? I’m having one of those days. It’s just the whininess of it all. The poor me I have to work today [from being off all week because of snow days] and the poor me the sun is out and it’s Friday but I’m still depressed. Ok, Whiner #1 – at least you have a job, bi-otch!  [and, it’s a miracle you still do from milking the system with your workers compensation bs for so long]. Whiner #2 – if you would just go ahead and file for a divorce instead of trying to have your cake and eat her it too then you wouldn’t have the blues.

Good Goddess, people.

Yeah, I clicked off FB immediately this morning. There are some days I just need the ambiguous sometimes patronizing witty dialogue of a twitter feed. But –

-do you ever think that Twitter people think they’re smarter than you? That they have the razor tongues of a drag queen with Xanax withdrawals?

I at least put some funny things on Charlie’s page before I clicked off – she has reason to feel run down this week because she’s worked practically 5-12’s in a row and she’s draggin’ butt. Unlike some people she never got any snow days. Broken legs and flipped stomachs don’t go away on dogs and cats when there’s a dusting of snow and ice on the road.

I have to work with idiots all weekend in the rain but I’m not complaining – damn right. For now, it’s Miller time.

Have a great weekend, y’all!

weeked recap

Charlie and I had a relaxing Valentines Day weekend. Saturday, we got up and had breakfast, went over to Ellen’s to take care of the chickens and then decided to go out for a V-Day lunch. Once we were done with that we ended up back at the house and sitting on the back porch. It’s hard to believe now – but, it was a nice evening out. Our neighbors were gone and we had the place [outside] all to ourselves. We practiced throwing beer bottles into the recycling bin and making A LOT of noise – on purpose as they weren’t there to complain. Sometimes they get on our nerves that way.

Yesterday, we decided to go to a movie and see American Sniper. I thought it was very good but the ending was a real bummer so just be forewarned. Afterwards, we came home and hung out while we grilled dinner. We managed to finally get a working dishwasher but now we need to start worrying about a stove. If it isn’t one thing it’s another.

I’m getting ready to work a couple of weekends in a row and I have to say that despite needing the $$ for a stove I’m dreading it. I had been wondering about something else to do part-time instead of teaching since it’s making me so miserable. It’s not really the students that make me miserable [most of the time although there are a few I wished who would take up underwater knitting] – it’s the man who employs me that I feel is treating me like a dog. I interviewed with a Segway tour group and made it through the first interview, however, when they asked me to come ride along on one of their electric car tours they never called me after that. The only thing I think why they wouldn’t be interested is either I’m not the right demographic for them and/or that I have a full time job and I wouldn’t be as available as most of the part timers they hire. Either way, I don’t think that particular tour was for me. What I end up doing to replace motorcycle teaching really needs to find me. So –

-after visiting Ellen’s Charlie and I decided to resurrect the landscaping biz and make her our first client as it’s a wreck over there. That way we can work our own hours and grow the business a little and later perhaps Charlie runs it full time. I like the idea because I already have the company set up (from my earlier unemployment days), business cards and we had a slew of friends who would be interested in maintenance. Although, we agreed we’d have to be specific about what services we’d offer.

So, we’ve been looking at landscape trailers and zero turn mowers which of course will probably one day lead to a mini barn out back. Maybe by the end of summer we’ll have it up and running. It’s a goal. I need to have an end date for teaching so I can tell them to kiss my @ss can back off that and focus on the landscaping and eventually fade that part of my life out. We’re also looking to get Charlie a motorcycle this spring. A couple of our close friends are getting bikes and it just makes sense. Plus, I’ve started this motorcycle group where we haven’t even ridden anywhere except to dinner.

Today, my office was closed because of the impending storm coming in. Everyone is hysterical about not getting caught out in it like last year. Me – I have enough personal days I can float at home all week if I want. The dogs have been hanging in the office, the cat’s in his bed and it’s quiet here a good day to write.

blank spaces

I’ve been staring at a blank piece of paper for so long. Blank when it comes to writing blog posts, starting a new writing project and finding something else to do other than teaching motorcycle classes in my spare time. I feel like I’ve been talking about this for so long that it’s making me nauseous.

I do want to start a new writing project but I just don’t know what I want. I somehow stumbled into the script writing scene but I have yet to develop anything. Plus, the writing style of scripts is a little disjointed to me. It doesn’t flow like writing a post or short story so I’m not sure I have it in me to produce a script.

Either way, I’m going to try to make a commitment to at least start on something and see where it goes.

As far as teaching goes – my frustration has gotten to an all-time high when it took two months to pay me for a class I did early December.  I started looking around at different things to do. I ran across a Segway tour group and applied. I had my first interview last Monday and my second one is this weekend. I think the interview went well, however, if it wasn’t for my teaching experience I doubt I’d even made it to the next level of consideration as according to them the competition for the 4-5 positions they have open is fierce. Saturday I’m to go down to their office and meet some of the staff and then go along on a tour just to see if it’s something I’d like. I’m thinking, What’s not to like? At least if there’s obnoxious people on the tour I’ll be done with them in 1-3 hours and never have to see them again. 

If I get in then I have a lot of training to do but at least I’ll get paid for it – unlike when I trained to be a motorcycle instructor – I got nothing for my time and even had to pay for my teaching materials. They initially train on their electric car tours first because they are their longest tour. Then, if I want to do walking tours and Segway tours then I train some more for them. I do want to do those, however, they aren’t as long as the car tours and they don’t pay as much. But, unlike the motorcycle classes they encourage tipping the tour guides. So, we’ll see what happens. If this works out then I’m tapering off the motorcycle thing and will eventually resign. I really think I’ll like it so keep your fingers crossed.

In other news, our Super Bowl party has really blown up to a large event. I’m thanking the stars for the 55” LG TV in the living room. But, not for the  LG dishwasher we had to take back. When the repair guy showed up to fix it – it had such old parts [on a new unit, I might add] that he had to back order the part and couldn’t promise it would be in by 15 days. When Charlie heard that she disconnected it, threw it in the back of the truck and drove it back to Lowe’s and got her money back. So, we have to start over. This is so frustrating. I recommend sticking to LG TV’s only.

Yes, we’ll be eating off paper plates for Super Bowl XLIX.

take twelve


Running: This week I logged 12 miles. I got tired of running being so difficult since my ankle injury so Monday I decided to just suck it up and go run my old route from the house. If I was going to get back to 3 mile runs I just needed to get out there and do it. Surprisingly, it wasn’t as bad as I initially thought it was going to be. Tuesday, I took the same route but both Wednesday and today I did 3 on the treadmill at the gym. At least I was moving my body. I think I’m going to stick to the running for awhile and try to ramp up the weekly mileage to 15. I think 15 miles per week is a nice average – for now. Winter time is so hard to run because I loathe running in the cold. If the temp gets up to the 60’s I’ll run. This week has turned really cold much to my chagrin. I really hope we don’t have a bad winter. Now that my healthclub has finally reopened I would really like to ride my bike to the train station and shower there before going into work but I refuse to ride under 60 degrees.

Motorcycle: I’d like to ride my motorcycle, too.


I installed another pair of grips (since I effed up the first set) and bar end mirrors. It wasn’t a fun project and I’m happy to be done with it! Despite teaching this weekend I probably won’t ride because it will be too cold. What a waste of all these pretty fall leaves – too cold to be outside and enjoy what’s left of fall. The motorcycle meetup was good last night, however, it was our neighbors 15 year anniversary and we had to run home at 9 to let their dogs out. When we got home I went to let them out while Charlie let ours out and suddenly it was an explosion of dogs. Sadie hit my shin so hard I yelled and then she jumped up and nearly took my teeth out with a kiss. D@mn! I stumbled into the house afterwards hoping my shin wasn’t shattered. Just one more thing to happen to keep me from running.

IMG_1549 (she’s drinking both of those beers, too – one for each thumb)

Charlie got offered a new job yesterday that she accepted. I’m so proud of her – I knew she would be good for it. It’s at a Veteranary hospital and private practice. No more shelter, over population, sometimes dangerous environment. Her boss was a little upset when she put in her notice yesterday but I thought, She should be. She’s losing someone who works hard.unlike the other two lazy @ss vet techs. If the doctor there would have taken her under her wing and taught her more and made her feel like she was part of a team I doubt Charlie would have ever left. But, she didn’t and that’s on her – the doctor. I knew Charlie wasn’t happy there. I subscribed to a vet website bulletin board that sends out emails every time new jobs come on the board. I saw this one and thought it was a good fit because it was close to the house and a better opportunity. I won’t say that I didn’t help her write her resume, however, she’s the one with the skills that sold her self during the two interviews she had with them. So, bravo my love. Good job!

Old job peeps: Now, if I can only get some of my peeps from my old job to my new job. I don’t know why I care but I do. I just love the thought of everyone leaving Noel and for once he would have to do the work himself. He’s still terrorizing my former co-workers. (Honestly, I’m surprised someone hasn’t taken him out yet) My former immediate has finally seen the writing on the wall and applied for some other jobs. I asked her what it would take for her to start looking and she said when she rolls over ten years with the state she’ll start looking. I told her it didn’t matter if she went to another state job. She finally applied, ironically, to one of the jobs here that I applied for. It’s not that I’m unhappy in my current role. I love it, but – I’m ambitious. I want a corner office and I won’t leave this place until I have one. The position I’m in I have an advantage because I get a lot of marketable experience that helps in moving up to management roles. We’ll see what happens. I won’t be upset either way.

Oh, and you can find me on Twitter @Lanie_Belluz





off the list

Friday was hectic. I had a class all day that I couldn’t possibly get out of since all of my bosses were facilitating it. I just had to suck it up and go. It wasn’t half bad – just long for a Friday afternoon. They let class out at 3 and I went up to my office. I had left my phone up there to charge but had my iPad with me in class and was able to text Charlie on iMessage (which, no one can seem to understand why I can receive texts on iMessage on my iPad on WiFi when people who have arcane flip-phones (like the Clampetts) I can’t. 

Apparently, Cathy had been texting me that they were at the lake but then going back to the house because Gwen was having leg seizures and wasn’t feeling good and she was wrestling with whether or not to take her to the doctor.

I thought, OMG! Suddenly, we’re out-patient care!

They are both about 10 years older than Charlie and I and falling apart. Both have had multiple surgeries and Cathy is currently on workers comp – which, I have a feeling the company that hired her hates they day they brought her on because she’s barely even been at work because of surgeries and other health issues and now they’re paying workers comp for something she’s never really said what happened and why only that she has a torn meniscus and they wont pay to operate on it and she has to wait 2 weeks to see if it’s healed enough to go back to work. 

“Cathy said you didn’t get her texts but you’ve been texting me all afternoon.”

“Hon, it’s an iMessage thing, ok? It doesn’t work with Cathy’s arcane flip phone. I told her my phone had been up in my office all day.”

“Well, you’d better get home so you can let them in the house. I don’t know what’s going on with Gwen.”

“I’m grabbing my helmet now.”

I had ridden in to work that day because Charlie took the truck to the dentist. It was nice having rockstar parking. The guys who manage my office building said I could park right outside their office and that they would keep an eye on it for me. 

I rode home and pulled into the carport as Deb the neighbor flew around the corner. She was going to let the dogs out for them and just take them over to her house. Everyone was being so accommodating.

I hugged them and let the dogs out, introduced them to Deb and sat down and cracked a beer. I decided I wouldn’t start dinner until Charlie got home so I could entertain.

We had mistakenly told them that we were taking the camper up to N Georgia over Labor Day weekend (if it wasn’t raining) and she had asked if it would be ok if she put a tent on our site. I kept thinking, “Bitch, get your own tent site – it’s only, like, $10.” Charlie had told her that I would ask if it was ok. I did send an email to ask but never heard anything back but I got to thinking again, Charlie and I haven’t had any alone time since we went up to Tennessee and got our @sses rained on all weekend. Maybe we shouldn’t encourage the visitation and just have some alone time with the dogs. I had told her that I wasn’t going to encourage it or bring it up unless she did. 

So, the first thing we’re sitting in the carport drinking and she asks me about it.

“You have to get your own tent site.” Hey, it’s a free country. I wasn’t going to discourage her going there but wasn’t encouraging the free ride and the company. 

“Well, such-and-such told ME you could have up to 8 people on a site!”

I really didn’t appreciate her tone. 

I shrugged and said, “That may be true but 8 people per camper not 8 tents on a site.”

“Well, that’s fine. I mean, if you and Charlie want to be alone then just let me know and that’s ok if you do.” 

I thought, Like, I need to ask you if I can have some alone time with my fiancé?

“I’ll talk to Charlie about it.” Closing the subject.

Ever since we got this camper we’ve had friends wanting to STAY in it with us. To me, that’s like going to your relatives for a week and sleeping on the couch – which, would NEVER HAPPEN! Ellen has said, I’d love to go. Cindy has said, Maybe I could go with y’all sometime.

Ok, NEVER HAPPENING! The other bed in the camper is for the dogs -end of discussion.

Then, she says, “I wish they had operated on my knee so I could be back to work. I can’t afford to be out of work.”

“I thought you said you were on workers comp – how much of your salary are you getting compensated while you’re out? “

“Oh, I get all of it but about $15.”

Hmm, I could think of a lot of healing, enjoyment and things I could do $15 less my salary for sitting on my butt all day.

“But I have to pay for my own health insurance.”

“Well, how much is that?”

“It’s about $175.”

“Well, that’s not bad. You’re lucky you’re not on Cobra or something. Most people have to pay at least $ 300 for that.”

I wasn’t giving in to the feel-sorry-for-me-I’m-sitting-on-my-@ss-collecting-a-check story.

Finally, Charlie pulled up and I went in to marinate our steak and make a salad. Shortly after that Ellen and churchy pulled up bringing their steaks (it was a steak pitch-in) and another side.

We had a few more drinks, Deb and Tom came over from next door and next thing you know it was a party. I crashed at about 10:30 because I knew I was going to be hating life the next day getting up at 5:30 to go teach – and, I did. I hated life allllllll weekend. I’m so happy that this is my last basic class for a while and that the next two are advanced courses.

Saturday morning, Charlie texted me saying that Cathy had decided to go home after taking Gwen to the airport – I think we were both relieved – her especially since she was going to be the one to entertain her all day. We had mentioned taking her to the Blues and BBQ fest after I got off work and she was making a big deal out of cost to get in. We even offered to pay her way in (which, was only $10) but she balked.

Anyway, I don’t think I’m going to encourage the visits anymore. They’re kind of off the invite list.




sucking the oyster shell dry

“We’re doing The Walking Dead ride on Saturday, do you want to come?”

“I can’t, I’m working that weekend.”

Another friend, time, situation:

“That race we did last year that had the Red Stripe at the end is the last weekend in May do you want to do that again?”

“Let me see if I have to work that weekend. [Looking at my calendar] Yeah, I have to work.”

Working on the weekends always seems to be the story of my life these days. It was so different when I started teaching ten years ago. When I first started it was to earn some extra money and be around a bunch of motorcycle enthusiasts. I made friends of other motorcycle instructors and we used to go out after classes, have beers and laugh telling stories. I felt at the time I was helping people by teaching them to ride safely and responsibly. I thought it was my journey. Now, the stories are all the same and all my students seem to be in midlife crisis stage trying to fulfill a bucket list. I feel like I need to move on. I need another hobby or thing to do on the weekends that feeds my soul instead of sucking it dry.

If I take more time off I can ride more [especially, if we can get Charlie that Harley….], run more and just figure out something else I want to do in my spare time instead of babysitting a bunch of adults in the pouring rain – like I did all last weekend.

Any ideas, blogland?